It’s one thing to be a part of the record-low 6.2% admitted Harvard batch. However, when you start to boast about it on the most irrelevant merchandise (what does admission rate have to do with football spirit anyway?), it just shows how desperate you are to let the world know about your academic glory.

Not cool, Harvard. One would expect more ingenuity from this “chosen 6%.”

(Inspired by this article.)

A happily Gryffindor-esque scarf.

As the nation’s “most exclusive” protests occur on campus, the torch has been passed to a major retail-clothing corporation to make Harvard more accessible to the 99%.

The common mall department store Forever 21 currently has a sale advertising a variety of Harvard gear for the winter.  Among the offerings are a scarf, gloves, and two different kinds of beanies. The clothes are actually pretty cute, and a great way to bulk up for the Game this Saturday. The price of the most expensive item? A whopping $11.76.

The sale is also putting out garb from other colleges, including Yale, LSU and Auburn. Affordable outerwear from my elite university sold alongside this drivel? Pish tosh.

Harvard has received a fortuitous leg up in our quest to not have the worst sex lives in the Ivy League.

RIP Yale Sex Week, 2002-2011. (Photo credit: Yale's Broad Recognition magazine.)

Yale president Richard Levin announced last week that activities of the college’s “Sex Week” may no longer take place in Yale’s facilities or use the school’s name.

According to this article, Levin’s decision was based upon a committee report examining how to combat sexual harassment and violence at Yale. The document stated that Sex Week at the school deviated from its intended purpose of sex education, and prominently featured “titillating displays, ‘adult’ film stars, and commercial sponsors of such material.”

Fellow Harvard students, this is our chance. Hopefully our football team won’t be the only thing scoring at Yale this weekend.

You know how you know you go to the number one university in the world? Your college even wins at the contest of issuing the best most-useless degree.

According to this Huffington Post article, Harvard tops the list of colleges at which to major in English. (Incidentally, we are apparently also the haven for those who “hate to do chemistry experiments.”) Institutions we beat out for this prestigious honor include Oxford, Yale, Columbia and Stanford.

So, humanities concentrators: when, in October after graduation, you find yourself sitting catatonically on the couch with eyes glazed over, watching an MTV Jersey Shore marathon at 1 in the afternoon, at least you can take comfort in knowing that, because you went to Harvard, you are definitely the best at it.

Winning, 1636-Present.

Photo credit: theantiyale.blogspot.com, mosaicofart.blogspot.com

Yep, that’s right, that’s her.

You’ve seen her pouncing on the tofu in Annenberg, trying her paws on beer pong, or sauntering around campus with languid grace, and you wonder whether there’s a psychopath hiding behind those alert, calculative eyes. Surely all those years raised up by a tigress had brought an irreversible psychological impact on her, for better or worse?

Without further ado, let’s meet number three,

3. The New Tiger In Town

I guess there’s no more introduction needed to the famous parenting book by Yale Law School professor Amy Chua, titled The Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother. Suffice to say that her eldest cub, Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld is now here among us, ready to attest to her mom’s parenting style. But before you eagerly stalk her as the study case for your child development thesis, you might want to know that Sophia could not be any more “normal” than she already is. Charmingly pleasant, and articulate, Sophia talked about being in college as a tiger cub.

The Tiger Cub, on the left, with her roommates. It took three shots before she was satisfied with the result. Roar.

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Well, they sure did in this gem I found from 2001.

Photo credit: blog.craftzine.com

Photo is to indicate that I know you’re reading this as you sit at your cushy, resumé-padding 9-5 internship, proving them right in 2011. I know I am.

The Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights is currently investigating Yale University after a complaint in response to Title IX was filed by 12 women and 4 men regarding “a hostile sexual environment.” Slate reports that, “This environment limits ‘women’s equal access to educational opportunities,’…The 16 signatories have been discussing the possibility of filing a complaint since December of 2010, but Yale’s lack of response to an incident in which men from the DKE fraternity chanted: “No means yes! Yes means anal!” outside of freshman dorms set the wheels in motion.”

Well Yale, looks like you’re really in the doghouse now.  #FALE