Time to kick Harvard to the wayside…it’s all about attending the most burger-ific school in the world! McDonald’s Hamburger University in China has an acceptance rate of less than 1%–more than six percentage points fewer than this past year’s acceptance rate at Harvard.

Hamburgers or hairy girls...that is the question...

While Harvard has record numbers of applications coming in year after year, its competitiveness is no match for numbers of McDonald’s managers vying to be trained in this prestigious program. In addition, there is NO tuition to attend Hamburger University, while tuition at Harvard has steeped to approximately $54,000. McDonald’s pays approximately $1,500 per person for them to partake in this intensive 5-day program.

Why are so many Chinese vying to learn the ways of Ronald McDonald? As of July 1, 2010, 26 percent of China’s 6.3 million college graduates were unemployed, and the fast-food giant offers the possibility of employment as well as opportunity to move up through the hierarchy of the system.

So ditch your psets, burn your books, and give away your winter coat–it’s about time we all head to China for a lesson off the Dollar Menu. How’s that for food for thought?

NOMNOMNOM food for thought NOMNOMNOM

Looking to spice up your holiday wardrobe? Transform next holiday season with unique accessories that put the HA! in holiday HAts. Your poor santa hat won’t know what to do with itself.

For the ugly sweater party…

santa stuck in a tree!

For the Naughty Christmas Shindig…

oh la la!

And last, but not least…

too much milk and cookies?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from THE VOICE!

I’ve heard of some pretty elaborate get-out-of-your-exam schemes, but this one may take the cake. While the circumstances behind this are unclear (it may not have actually been a ploy to get out of exams), both basement computer labs of the Science Center have been evacuated due to a mercury spill in the science center basement computer labs (B14).

Let this be a lesson to all – when carrying around your bottles of mercury (!?!?!), caution is everything.

* EXCLUSIVE account of the Harvard Business School student who was mugged yesterday evening, Saturday Dec 11th, 2010 at approximately 8:30pm. (His name has been retracted to protect his privacy)

From Noice to supposedly-safer-than-New-Haven Cambridge : WTF?

——————————————–

Dear friends,

As many of you have known, I was mugged yesterday evening. Many thanks to those who called or emailed to express your concerns. I really appreciate it. Here’s a more detailed description of the incident. Hopefully this may help you rethink your definition of “safe time” and “safe place”.

I had dinner in Harvard Square by myself and bought some fruits and drinks from 7/11 on my way back to campus (I live in Chase). I have no idea since when I was stalked as there were still many people and cars on the JFK street at 8pm on Saturday. As I was walking along the path outside Hamilton and almost getting to the lawn in front of Baker Library [...], two men quietly approached me from behind and wrestled me down to the ground. As one of them pressed me to the ground and said “give me your money”, the other quickly found and grabbed my wallet from the back pocket of my jeans, and then both of them ran away via the path and then the JFK bridge to Cambridge side. It happened at around 8:20pm and the entire process lasted about 20 seconds. I reported the incident to HBS security located in Aldrich immediately afterwards and filed it with HUPD. My friend’s friend found my empty wallet at the Cambridge side of JFK bridge – all cash and cards were taken.

They didn’t threat me with any weapon or claim to have any. I didn’t get injured at all. I am completely fine, both physically and mentally. I received phone calls from Youngme Moon and Barbara Siegfriedt later, to whom I suggested the school consider installing some security cameras around the boundary of the campus.

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No, this is not another UC election stunt to convince you that they, finally, will be the ones to get Harvard students out of their respective study shells (or so we think). However, in yet another effort to increase interactions between undergraduates on campus, the website, www.harvardlunch.com, has been launched, to randomly pair up students to share a dhall meal together.

According to the website, “After freshman year in Annenberg, we often settle into groups (blocking groups, concentrations, houses student groups) and don’t venture outside them. HarvardLunch gives you the opportunity to meet and/or network with people you might never meet otherwise in the Harvard community.”

Annenberg...where social interaction comes to live and die at Harvard. (From the Office of the Arts website.)

It’s not clear who started this website or exactly when it was launched, and it’s still listed as in beta form. However, all you need is a Harvard e-mail address to add your name to the group of 52 people (and counting) that the site claims it has already helped introduce.

Let’s see if Coe-Odess-Li, Ebrahim-Cao or Jones-Davis can do any better.

…Unless you’re Paris Hilton (and if you are, then hey Paris!)

We’re serious. Last Saturday, residents of Pforzheimer House’s infamous party suite – the Belltower – discovered a chihuahua wrapped in someone’s coat in one of their bedrooms as they cleaned up the semi-demolished suite after a Halloween blowout, appropriately titled “Sin: A Night of Hell in the Pfoho Bell.”

We don’t know about you, but whoever left a live animal behind and then refused to take responsibility committed a sin, all right.

A series of messages sent out by “Bell Tower,” the unofficial Facebook account for the party suite, chronicles the unlikely event.

Bell Tower – November 1st at 12:14am

Sinners,
If you lost something / left it behind as an excuse to talk to one of the cute guys that live here. Send Bell Tower a message and we’ll tell you if we have it. We’ve already returned an iPhone and a Blackberry.
AND WHOEVER LEFT THEIR CHIHUAHUA BEHIND NEEDS TO PICK IT UP IMMEDIATELY!!! SERIOUSLY WE ARE TAKING IT TO THE POUND ON TUESDAY.

Bell Tower – November 3rd at 3:28am

Seriously, we are taking this dog to the pound tomorrow. We will give you $30 to adopt it or $10 if you put us in touch with the original owner. Please don’t make us do this.

-Bell Tower – November 5th at 2:44pm

We just wanted write everyone who was concerned a follow up about Bell Tower’s Chihuahua incident.
We actually put flyers up in the North Cambridge/ South Arlington Area. After 4 days, we spoke to three families and actually got to pick a good home for the chihuahua. He will be moving in with the Daly family in Arlington. They plan to name the dog Youk after some Red Sox player and will be giving him as a gift to their son Ryan. While this actually turned out to be a happy ending, the next person who brings a live animal to the belltower will be covered in vodka and lit on fire.

Together with the Belltower Boys, Noice breathes a sigh of relief for the chihuahua’s fate. “[F]ear not, friends, the chihuahua is safe,” reads the Facebook status of a Belltower resident yesterday.

“Just who the fuck does that?” commented another Belltower resident, upon being asked for a final comment.

But seriously. WTF?

I’m not going to lie – I feel a particular fondness for the tall fellow after his recent stint as a statue in Harvard square. Yet, it’s quite hard to recover my eyes after seeing how the man dressed up for Halloween:

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IMAGE MAY BE TOO FRIGHTENING FOR YOUNGER AUDIENCES.

Image courtesy of YouTube

A 300-pound, 7 foot tall man belting out Beyoncé? It’s either entertainment or fear-inciting, but we’re not quite sure yet.

Sadly, we could have seen an repeat performance of  the phenomenon now called Shaq-randomly-appearing-somewhere-and-announcing-it-on-Twitter but “somebody important” called to say that was a bad idea.

What a shame. Maybe this following video could have been done in our very own Harvard Square.

And don’t worry – he didn’t win our Halloween costume contest! One more day to submit to thehvoicemail@gmail.com!