So, hypothetically speaking if we were to have a Twitter and follow certain celebrities and odd things popped up about Harvard on our feeds (is that what they’re even called, we don’t know, we’re being hypothetical), then we would have an obligation to report that, no?

Well, last night…or according to Twitter, 17 hours ago, Lindsay Lohan (may sobriety be with her) sent out a tweet to rumored girlfriend Samantha Ronson that reads, “@samantharonson http://twitpic.com/ribsm – yes, harvard dorm room :)” the picture is below. If anyone can identify if this is in fact a Harvard dorm room and who is holding Ms. Parent Trap hostage, let us know. We want an interview. And free samples of whatever she’s hustlin’.

P.S. Further investigation into the comments on said picture have a reply from Ms. Lohan herself that apparently verifies she took this in a Harvard dorm room. Lindsay if you’re here: hit us up.

A new series in which you didn’t ask for advice, but you’re getting it anyway.

Bitchgrams Presents: (un)FYL

Lately, moderating FML has started to seem like a full time job… working as a middle school guidance counselor, that is. One of the most common posts Harvard FML receives can be summed-up as: “SWEET JESUS SOMEONE DATE ME!” No need to worry, Bitchgrams is here to help.

Some highlights of Harvard’s lonely state:

Cougar, rawr.

I know more about radiocarbon dating than I do about the fun kind. FML

The cute girl I like doesn’t know I exist. I’m in a freshman seminar with her. FML

“I want your love. I don’t wanna be friends.” FML

My life is turning into Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” video but without the paper unfolding at the end. FML

I’m a freshman and I’m looking for a real relationship. FML

I think I may need to go visit another school to find guys to date. FML

My divorced mother has been on more dates than I have this year. She’s 56. FML

We draw the line at the divorced mother. Notice the trend?

Solution: Ask them out already.

Boys and girls, meet… boys and girls. Although asking a person out on a real live date is perhaps foreign to our generation, this technique has, in fact, worked for all the rest of history. Judging from FML there are a huge number of students looking for something more than a night in the Delphic basement. So get off FML and stop praying for speed dating… Seriously, right now. Ask him/her out for coffee, dinner, a night of drinking and poor decisions, text, call, awkwardly Facebook message. Point is, just do it and give The Voice less to worry about.

xoxo,

Bitchgrams