Thanks to major corporate shoe conglomerates, intellectual masturbation at the nation’s top schools just got even easier.

Later this January, the shoe brand New Balance launches a new “Ivy League” collection of its H710 styles, with sneaker options for each of Hahvahd, Princeton, Columbia, Dartmouth, the University of Pennsylvania, and Brown. Notice anything missing from that list? Oh yeah, Yale and Cornell – obvs not elite enough to roll with us real Ivy Leaguers.

So, in case any of us forgets for even a second how Uniquely Smart And Special we are to attend The Undisputed Best University Among the Undisputed Larger Collection of Best Universities in the World, we need only look at our footwear.

GUYS CHECK OUT MY SHOES I GO TO HARVARD

We find bundle-of-joy Colin Teo ’12 illuminating the cement walls of Leverett Towers with perfectly matched fall colors. How very dapper! How VeryNoice!

1 ) Faux Leather Baseball Cap: Store in Vietnam
2 ) Royal Blue Blazer: Furrmuse in Singapore
3 ) Scarf: Topshop
4 ) Leather Shoes: Store in Greece
5 ) Belt: Calvin Klein
6 ) Maroon Cardigan: Topshop
7 ) Pink V-Neck: Alternative VintageSoft
8 ) Black Leather Gloves: Lord & Taylor
9 ) Leather-Strapped Watch: Louis Erard