While some of you toil for major conglomerates at minimum wage and most others work the coffee machine for no wage at all, I’ve been devoting my summer evenings watching Roland Garros – one of the four major professional tennis tournaments of the year taking place in Paris, France. You can’t beat bright orange clay court and matching bright green towels glaring at you for five hours. And lots of athletes attired in even stranger combinations of colors. So read on for my Guide to the French Open 2011 - Men’s Singles (because one can only watch so much TV before being yelled at by one’s Tiger Mom).
The Trivalry
1. Rafael Nadal – The Pit Bull
- What he’s famous for:The 25-year old Spaniard is the defending champion and current world No. 1 tennis player. Nadal’s rise to the top was as meteoric as it was spectacular. He turned pro at 15, beat Federer, the then world No. 1, for the first time at 17, and never looked back. He’s won all four major tennis tournaments, a gold medal at the Summer Olympics, and at Roland Garros alone he’s been crowned five times. Watch Nadal roam the court like a pit bull on steroid, while his opponent breaks a bucket of sweat in exhaustion and exasperation. It’s fun.
- What he’s infamous for: the permanent wedgie, made very in-your-face by the constant close-up camera shots of his Capri pants which cannot be any tighter. It’s tempting to imagine that Nadal’s constant tugging of his pants behind his ass might be a tactic to distract the opponent. Nadal also has a particularly “flamboyant” dressing style. He’s almost always in sleeveless tops of super bright colors, such as orange, and then pair that with, say, green pants. You can practically see him from Mars. Or the nosebleed section of the stadium, which actually is helpful.
He’s so rich that he basically owns a Spanish soccer team, Mallorca. He’s an avid soccer fan and was one of only six non-staff people allowed into the locker room of Spain’s national soccer team after it won the World Cup in 2010. He’s also the new face of Armani underwear. (Hence the picture on the left.) I’ll give you a few moments to regroup. Methinks he should just ditch the hideously colored clothes and go the way nature intends it!
He might be going bald very soon though, so enjoy the pretty while it lasts.
This winter formal season, The Voice tried a new experiment and played matchmaking for our dearest readers. The response was overwhelming, and if we couldn’t get back to you, our apologies. If the match we found for you didn’t deliver, we’re terribly sorry. Rest assured that with all the feedback we’ve received, our system will be improved in time for Spring Formals!
We thank you for your faith in our Matchmaking power, and we look forward to serving you again soon! Here are some stories*, variously titled “The Good, The Bad, and The Unexpected,”to round up the whole experience. Two freshman girls had two extremely different experiences, and a Varsity athlete in Eliot House went on a perfect date with a girl who still isn’t quite convinced about his sexual orientation. Maybe he’s too good to be true? Read on and find out for yourself!
*Names have been retracted to protect the privacy of our clients.
The Good:
As a blind dating newbie, my roommate and I decided to be adventurous and do the Voice Matchmaker together. Confused as how these matches would be made after no questions were asked about ourselves and only what we desired in a date, I was blessed by the matchmaking gods and asked to the Adams formal this past Sunday. My roommate graciously lent me a beautiful dress and sent me on my way into the Cambridge cold.
Unable to find the entrance and knowing nothing about my match except for his name, I wandered anxiously until I got a call from my date to invite me inside. Everything about the Adams House formal, whose theme was “Harry Potter,” was beautiful. The House could easily be mistaken for Hogwarts for the night. My date, a senior Adams resident, was extremely sweet and friendly and we wove in through the trees and mystical music to get inside, be sorted, and receive our wands.
Somehow, The Voice found me a perfect date and great new friend. We mingled for the night until he was drawn back to his room to work on his thesis. I am still unsure if the Voice worked its magic, if it was a purely magical night, or if Harvard is just full of truly nice guys. Either way it worked out for me, I had a great time and I hope my date felt the same!
FIRST OF ALL. ZOOLANDER 2. IT’S HAPPENING. I don’t know about you guys but when I heard this today I freaked out and immediately wanted to get a frap and go have a gas station oil fight. But to each their own.
Also, Canadians know how to celebrate a win. Too bad the Olympics might be punishing them for straight up busting out cigars and bubbly on the ice.
Speaking of the Olympics, a new London logo was just released and it’s REALLY GOOD. At least there are no subtle/strange undertones like the other one (it’s below the awesome one)…I mean, really look at it.
If anyone was near Mower A last night they would have heard my roommate and I yelling “SICK, OH MY GOD, SWEET, A DOUBLE MCTWIST!?” We didn’t really know what these terms were but she had a poster of him in her locker circa 2006 and I used to play Tony Hawk Pro Skater like it was my job. Well, it paid off for us because our yelling clearly led Shaun White to his second gold medal in a row in the Olympic half-pipes. Also, I would just like to point out that a) the faceplant that, that one guy had looked like it really hurt and b) why are snowboarders wearing jeans. Not bendy.
His hair so crazy. Anyway, America continues to do really well in Vancouver across the board. I asked my British friend downstairs how they were doing and he was unsure if they were even in it. Sorry motherland! Speaking of:
I feel the same way little one. The same way.
Hey, it is a party in the U.S.A. with all this gold. AMMIRIGHT?
Co-Presidents, Editors-in-Chief
- Michelle Nguyen ’13
- April Sperry ’13
Senior Editor for Content
- Lauren Feldman ’13
Director of Photography
- Heidi Lim ’14
Directors of Business
- Pratyusha Yalamanchi ’13
- Connie Lin ’14
Director of Marketing and Publicity
- Michael Shayan ’14
Web Director
- Julian Gari ’13
Director of Design
- Preston So ’14
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