(Video by Daniel Garber ‘13. Accessed May 26th, 2010.)

For someone like me, the phrase “Annenberg card-swiper” conjures up frightening, embarrassing and (slightly) painful memories of being turned away at the door for having forgotten my Harvard University ID for the umpteenth time. For Nolan Pollock ‘13, however, an Annenberg card-swiper named Francine inspires romantic verses.

Earlier this month, attendees of Annenberg’s hot breakfast were treated to an impassioned and dramatic recitation of Nolan’s 4th-winning entry in the Harvard Slam Poetry Competition, entitled “Oh, Francine!” Nolan stood atop a table, bathed in the yellow light of ‘Berg’s Harry-Potter-esque chandeliers, looked into the eyes of Francine and sang her praises in a way that would make Shakespeare proud.

Here are Voice’s favorite parts, even though pretty much every line is quotable.

“As I wait in line for my chance to dine,
All I can think about is making her mine
[...]

Oh, Francine!
For you, I must stop and thank the Dean
You’re like something out of a magazine
When you swipe my card, it’s almost obscene!
[...]

How can you resist my youthful zeal?
What do I have to do? Get down and kneel? (cute kneeling action)
YOU are an orange that I must peel!
[...]

This is not some emotional lie
Know that I am your guy!
I think about you always, in PhySci
I think about you always, in LifeSci
I think about you always, and inside.

Oh, Francine!
YOU, are my Annenberg dream.”

Awwww <3 The procrastination bit is a very nice touch. Extra brownie points for keepin’ it real.

In his response to Voice, Nolan expresses that his biggest fear was “to lose the crowd’s attention,” and he was relieved to find that everyone loved it. Nolan wrapped up his poem amid maddening applause from the ‘Berg crowd. The reaction of Francine herself was priceless. “She gave me a great big hug and a kiss afterward and was apparently talking about it to staff members all day. She even asked for a copy of the poem to show to her kids,” Nolan recalls. I can testify to this because by dinnertime that day, Oh Francine!-related chatters still abounded among HUDS staff in the servery. Also, Facebook reports that Nolan, who is a member of the Harvard Heavyweight Crew, is single, in case anyone was wondering.

Everybody loves a random, cute act of romance in Annenberg. (Remember the dude who asked his girlfriend to the Snow Ball from the balcony, complete with giant poster boards? Those kids are still nauseatingly in love, much to the chagrin of their lovelorn and cynical blockmates. JK!) And this act deserves to go into the history book of the Class of 2013. (Sex on the balcony, proposals from the balcony and slam poetry atop a ‘Berg table. It is a tough job keeping up with this class.)

Voice approves! <3 Almost makes me wish I could wake up in time for breakfast every once in a while.

ETA: The original version of this post misstated the owner of the Youtube video to be Daniel Goldhaber ‘13. My apologies to both Daniels! I blame the 102 degree weather. I really do.

We’re a little late coming back from break, but we’re sure you’re still feeling it anyway; back to the grind, baby. This week Noice presents a playlist just for you Sunday procrastinators, a little heavy on the Disney tunes but with a little Missy Elliot thrown in there for good measure. Enjoy!

Number one feeling right now: Demetri Martin is hilarious. But the dog Bruce on the show is even funnier. Watch this now if you want to laugh. Seriously. I’m just cracking up. It’s ridiculous. Best way possible of course.

On to other interesting things. LIKE THE MF’N SUPERBOWL. There are a million places holding things on campus–and they’re likely all in your events feed on Facebook therefore I am not going to say where they are. I will be watching it on my futon in my room and making everyone in my dorm wish they had earplugs/wonder if I’m injured. Equally loud people will be present, some will have accents, and one will not understand football. But that’s ok. Because the Saints are going to win. WHO DAT.

Speaking of football this kid (David Sills), who is THIRTEEN years old, is already signed to USC to play football (QB) in 2015. HE’S THAT GOOD. IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND?

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by Henry Woodward-Fisher ‘12
December 2009 Issue

So, it’s Fall Exam Period 2009, freezing outside, you forgot to wear your sneakers and you’re now nursing Primal Scream induced frostbite and grazed knees. How will you get through the next week or so when Reading Period was such a disaster? You’re feeling especially out of shape after running around Harvard Yard in your birthday suit and you’ve still got a lot of BoardPlus and Crimson Cash to use up before the start of the holidays. What the hell is the blood-brain barrier anyhow? How on earth are you ever going to get through this new calendar?

ON PROCRASTINATION:

White Noise Generator – Just click on www.simplynoise.com to get the Internet’s purest and highest quality white noise (y’know the sound that TV makes when it’s not on a channel), it apparently aids sleep and helps block out other distractions.

LeechBlock – Go here for a Firefox extension that blocks websites (like Facebook, I Saw You Harvard, Twitter, etc.) that you might be tempted to visit repeatedly as you study.

MeeTimer – This Firefox add-on logs how much time you have spent on each site that you visit. It can give you pop-up reminders if you are spending too much time on procrastination web sites.

Things to avoid: Never, repeat, never go to meatspin.org or hippohippo.ytmnd.com – such things will only lead to unhappiness and awkward looks from others.

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We usually post videos we like to the Procrastination Station (in our sidebar, to the right). But this one was just too good and too appropriate to pass up using an entire entry for.

We present to you: Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes. To help you get your papers and studying done without trying to pull your hair out.

More Reading Period goodies are coming your way in The Voice’s special Reading Period December Issue, due out on December 11th!

NOICE IRONIC RAP SKILLZ!

Presenting: A handful of good songs that happen to have a Harvard shout-out in them. Why? Because we love lists and we love us.

Tapes N Tapes – Insistor
Bob Dylan – Baby Let Me Follow You Down
Jay-Z - What More Can I say?
Pavement – Gangsters and Pranksters
The Lonely Island - Natalie’s Rap
Estelle – Magnificent
and more!

Check them all out after the jump! Read the rest of this entry »