In-your-face vegan food. Mmhmm.

Snowballs from hell?

Half-assed chili?

Broke-ass cinnamon rolls?

Butt ugly sticky buns?!

Don’t be alarmed. It’s PETA’s Vegan College Cookbook!

Noice was at the COOP Tuesday evening to taste, prod, and scratch our heads at a veritable smorgasbord of PETA-blessed vegan food aimed at the average college bro, nerd, Harvard student, etc.

To entice us to buy, a selection of dishes from the cookbook — microwave-baked “Beer Bread,” vegan shepard’s pie and a selection of salads — were all on offer.

Our verdict? The beer bread was edible, but not my first choice of call when it comes to baked goods. Salads were salads, and the shepard’s pie was stone cold.

Noice gets the very strong feeling that a board room of PETA execs sat down and, in an attempt to solve the problem of how to recruit cool young things like us to join the animal rights movement, pulled together a cookbook that attempted to demonstrate how viable it is to become vegan.

Sadly, all they came up with was this:

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Bruce Friedrich, PETA Vice President, thinks noshing on chickens is unethical. Do you?

Upon first glance, it was apparent that the people attending the PETA debate last weekend were an crunchy bunch. The scent of patchouli wafted out from Science Center D, and inside the blue double doors, debate snacks of the spinach tortilla-and-hummus variety were eagerly gobbled up by Birkenstocks- and corduroy-clad attendees.

All mocking aside, though, the audience was, on the whole, unrepresentative of your typical Harvard kid. Firstly, they had trekked out to the Science Center (Good lord!) on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

Secondly, they did this for the express purpose of listening to Bruce Friedrich, PETA vice president, argue that people should ethically treat animals (duh), while Harvard Speech and Parliamentary Debate Society member Wesley Hopkin counter-argued that people can ethically taste animals.

So, how’d it turn out? Was it super-intense, resulting in hummus and all-natural tortilla chips splattering the walls? Was everyone so persuaded by Friedrich that, the moment the debate concluded, they immediately rushed out to CVS to stock up on Odwalla bars and Soyjoy? All that and more, after the jump.

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