In the fifth and final installment of our Freshman series, Noice brings to you a star athlete. (Previous inductees to the list include: a pole dancer, the National Spelling Bee champion, the Tiger Daughter, and a musician.)

More than just a blond-haired, blue-eyed beauty

Although this freshman might not exude an air of fame, she is a celebrity in her own niche. World-renowned fencer and Swedish beauty Emma Väggö has already made headlines, and she is now bringing her talent to Harvard. She fenced as a member of the Swedish junior national team, and she was a member of the Swedish Olympic training squad for the 2012 games. In case that isn’t enough, she was also ranked 10^th in the world by the International Fencing Federation (yeah…no big deal).

We’ll be honest – fencing is a bit obscure. Personally, the word “fencing” only conjures up images of that fateful scene in The Parent Trap (you know which one I’m talking about). Emma herself admits that, to a spectator who doesn’t understand fencing, it appears as “a bunch of jumping around in bizarre white suits.” However, any layman can appreciate the skill, precision, and athleticism required to master this difficult sport.

With gold medal aspirations, a modest attitude, and undeniable skill, this freshman is bound to leave an impressive legacy.

What has it been like moving to America from Sweden?

It has been a big adjustment, especially not being close to your family. It is pretty bizarre knowing that I am across the ocean from them. America is very different, but I love it here! I’m having the time of my life!

What first sparked your interest in fencing?

My dad was an Olympic fencer so he introduced me to fencing. I guess it kind of runs in the family.

How long have you been fencing?

I have been fencing for 10 years, which feels like my whole life. I can’t imagine not being a fencer.

What has been the highlight of your fencing career?

It was probably when I won my first Junior World Cup in Portugal last year. I had made the podium several times before, but this was the first time I came in first. It was a surreal experience.

Any Olympic aspirations?

Isn’t that every athlete’s dream? If I’m still fencing in 2 years, I’m hoping to go to Rio 2016.

Follow the jump to watch one of her impressive wins at the FIE World Championship!

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If anyone was near Mower A last night they would have heard my roommate and I yelling “SICK, OH MY GOD, SWEET, A DOUBLE MCTWIST!?” We didn’t really know what these terms were but she had a poster of him in her locker circa 2006 and I used to play Tony Hawk Pro Skater like it was my job. Well, it paid off for us because our yelling clearly led Shaun White to his second gold medal in a row in the Olympic half-pipes. Also, I would just like to point out that a) the faceplant that, that one guy had looked like it really hurt and b) why are snowboarders wearing jeans. Not bendy.

His hair so crazy. Anyway, America continues to do really well in Vancouver across the board. I asked my British friend downstairs how they were doing and he was unsure if they were even in it. Sorry motherland! Speaking of:

I feel the same way little one. The same way.

Hey, it is a party in the U.S.A. with all this gold. AMMIRIGHT?

As the Vancouver Winter Olympics approach, I become distinctly aware of the fact that network television is conspiratorially trying to vault certain athletes onto a certain pedestal. I’m not referring to different earthly minerals here, but I’m thinking more along the lines of brainwashing the public to believe that certain dudes in sterilizing tights happen to be God’s gift to ice skating aficionados. After years of analyzing Bob “I Only Work Leap Years” Costa’s special reports on NBC about specific athletes, I think I’ve built a pretty comprehensive list of qualities that a gymnast, speed skater, and–Jesus help us all if this ever happens–curler must possess to make it big into the collective consciousness.

Have the name of a Greek god. This one’s pretty obvious. How many gold medalists do you know named Andy Stitzer? Partly the doing of NBC’s prescient obsession with him the year of the Salt Lake City Games, Apolo Ohno definitely benefited from his dad totally freeloading on a pompous and possibly super traumatic naming decision. It’s unsurprising that the Olympic Committee granted him the gold medal even though he finished one of his races second–the man can bend people at sheer will, especially with hair like that. And it doesn’t really matter that Ohno wasn’t named specifically after the god, because really, who can focus on that when your last name is an exclamation in itself? We can all only stop hating him for him winning the genetic lottery when we find out how many times he was beat up in grade school before he started working out for future retribution. (I hope it’s a lot.)

Be a super-dee-duper All-American do-gooder. Pie-eating nationalists will always be predictably easy to please–you give them a wholesome, hardworkin’ teenager from the midwest just hoping to bring some honor to the heartland and they’ll stop being pissed that “My Name is Earl” won’t be the regularly scheduled programming for two weeks. That’s why all of the blond, freckle-faced youngin’s from Texas get all the attention during these two weeks every single time. Shawn Johnson, Sasha Cohen, that one chick who was actually really crappy at diving and yet got more camera time than the non-American gold medalist–they all had one creepy thing in common, and that was America’s capitalization on their patriotic cuteness and absurdly happy-go-lucky cheeriness. With their scarily vehement “GO USA!” chants captured on film for eternity, they might as well have been wearing eagle-emblazoned letter jackets onto the podium. Can we please just lay it all out? Because basically, Paul and Morgan Hamm are just two short dudes in tights wearing some ugly-ass primary colors.

Double the trouble is too much to handle.

Read more qualifications (or maybe disqualifications) after the jump.

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