Some people feel entitled to receive fabulous gifts upon being accepted to Ivy League Institutions. Rachel Hachero, a 17 year old from Fort Meyers, Florida took it a step too far, however and expected to receive a 2004 Nissan 350z sports car…

Yeah, she aimed high. And when her mother was unwilling to co-sign the loan for the ridiculously ostentatious piece of metal, Rachel got violent. That is, she pulled out a 9mm gun, pistol whipped her mother across the face, and made her drive to the dealership at gunpoint where she placed the gun in her purse and her mother signed the loan. Congratulations, she owns a car. Her mother alerted the authorities while Rachel was at school the next day, claiming that she didn’t want her daughter to be prosecuted because it would jeopardize her Ivy League acceptances and scholarship offers. That ship may have already set sail…

Mugshot FTW

Too bad. The fuzz promptly locked Rachel up in a juvenile detention facility and confiscated the gun. By the way, the gun was stolen from a Lee County Port Authority Law Enforcement officer in early July 2010. So WTF is up with that?

Crazybitch Video HERE

It’s unclear which Ivies Rachel was accepted to, but it’s safe to assume that she won’t be present for Visitas this year.

We heard rumors that yesterday morning, some freshmen found themselves greeted by members of “Leverett House,” with housing day letters and Leverett t-shirts in hand. Except they weren’t members of Leverett House. And those weren’t actually Leverett’s housing day shirts.

Indeed, after some investigation, it looks like the pranksters were none other than members of the Harvard Lampoon. Surpriiiise. The prank caused much commotion throughout Leverett House after it was found that these fake Leverett t-shirts displayed an inappropriate joke connected with the 9/11 tragedy; an image of the Leverett Towers are printed on the shirts with the words “Lever Forget.” Below are photos of the shirt and fake housing day letter.

Um...something tells me this is not OK.

After the jump, an email that was sent to the Leverett community from its House Master, Howard Georgi. Read the rest of this entry »

U GUYZZZ I HOPE I GET INTO ELIOT HAUS!!!!!111 NOW SIGN MY SHIRT

We just heard about the most EPIC party. No, seriously. It’s a slumber party. For the freshmen. On the night of March 10th, 2010. Which just happens to coincide with the night of, uh, RIVER RUN.

After reading the description of the event on Facebook, we wanted to weep. Are these the kinds of lies we’re feeding the young ones these days? That the night before Housing Day, you’re supposed to wriggle into your cute jammies, bring a few pillows, and scrawl on cheap Hanes t-shirts with markers that are probably already too dry? That the night before Housing Day, you are to partake in this “much-cherished pre-Housing Day sleepover ritual”? (Note to freshmen: It’s not.)

Listen up, freshmen. The night before Housing Day (called “River Run” for you n00bz) is not meant for your ass to be wiping the gross, pillow-strewn floors of Annenberg whilst decorating cute shirts. The night before Housing Day is a night meant not to be remembered, but blurrily and hazily recalled the morning after (“I puked WHERE last night?!”). The night before Housing Day is a night in which a flask is highly advised. The night before Housing Day is a night  in which you are meant to go wild, party like you’re at a normal college like Tufts, and pay homage to the River Gods in any way possible.

[Disclaimer: The Voice does not endorse underage drinking or vandalism or fires.]

It looks like the College has decided to poop on Housing Day Eve as a whole. See the new policies after the jump. Class of 2013…looks like you’re SOL. Lucky number 13, eh?  Read the rest of this entry »

Oh children of this generation, why have you not learned that everything spreads faster than herpes in the Jersey Shore house? This little gem came across our virtual doorstep this morning, and we can’t decide whether to be disturbed, laugh, or run for the bloody hills. How about you decide?

“Hey you (yes, I mean you ladies),

A wise man once said that a rich man can find no compensation for his time wasted on helping those who, though they may have asked for it (and wish it with all of their hearts), do not need or deserve such aid and may be viewed through vengeful eyes as the contemptuous bribe of a vain individual lacking ambition and sympathy all at the same time. Speaking of which the Freshman Formal (otherwise known in some circles as the “Snow Ball”) is approaching, slowly but surely, with each day that passes. Its eventual arrival cannot, to my knowledge, be stopped so I will cut to the chase. Out of the entire freshman class, I have selected you select few as recipients to receive something that few, if any, unselected individuals will ever have the chance to receive. Yes, you have guessed it (or have you?), I am extending the invitation to accompany me to said event. While you may be skeptical, I have planned for this by including a list of qualifications that make me the perfect person to have a splendid few awkward freshman hours with at our hallowed dance/shin-dig. They are as follows:

Read the rest of this entry »