(Video by Daniel Garber ’13. Accessed May 26th, 2010.)

For someone like me, the phrase “Annenberg card-swiper” conjures up frightening, embarrassing and (slightly) painful memories of being turned away at the door for having forgotten my Harvard University ID for the umpteenth time. For Nolan Pollock ’13, however, an Annenberg card-swiper named Francine inspires romantic verses.

Earlier this month, attendees of Annenberg’s hot breakfast were treated to an impassioned and dramatic recitation of Nolan’s 4th-winning entry in the Harvard Slam Poetry Competition, entitled “Oh, Francine!” Nolan stood atop a table, bathed in the yellow light of ‘Berg’s Harry-Potter-esque chandeliers, looked into the eyes of Francine and sang her praises in a way that would make Shakespeare proud.

Here are Voice’s favorite parts, even though pretty much every line is quotable.

“As I wait in line for my chance to dine,
All I can think about is making her mine
[...]

Oh, Francine!
For you, I must stop and thank the Dean
You’re like something out of a magazine
When you swipe my card, it’s almost obscene!
[...]

How can you resist my youthful zeal?
What do I have to do? Get down and kneel? (cute kneeling action)
YOU are an orange that I must peel!
[...]

This is not some emotional lie
Know that I am your guy!
I think about you always, in PhySci
I think about you always, in LifeSci
I think about you always, and inside.

Oh, Francine!
YOU, are my Annenberg dream.”

Awwww <3 The procrastination bit is a very nice touch. Extra brownie points for keepin’ it real.

In his response to Voice, Nolan expresses that his biggest fear was “to lose the crowd’s attention,” and he was relieved to find that everyone loved it. Nolan wrapped up his poem amid maddening applause from the ‘Berg crowd. The reaction of Francine herself was priceless. “She gave me a great big hug and a kiss afterward and was apparently talking about it to staff members all day. She even asked for a copy of the poem to show to her kids,” Nolan recalls. I can testify to this because by dinnertime that day, Oh Francine!-related chatters still abounded among HUDS staff in the servery. Also, Facebook reports that Nolan, who is a member of the Harvard Heavyweight Crew, is single, in case anyone was wondering.

Everybody loves a random, cute act of romance in Annenberg. (Remember the dude who asked his girlfriend to the Snow Ball from the balcony, complete with giant poster boards? Those kids are still nauseatingly in love, much to the chagrin of their lovelorn and cynical blockmates. JK!) And this act deserves to go into the history book of the Class of 2013. (Sex on the balcony, proposals from the balcony and slam poetry atop a ‘Berg table. It is a tough job keeping up with this class.)

Voice approves! <3 Almost makes me wish I could wake up in time for breakfast every once in a while.

ETA: The original version of this post misstated the owner of the Youtube video to be Daniel Goldhaber ’13. My apologies to both Daniels! I blame the 102 degree weather. I really do.