Do You Know What MCOW Stands For? NOW YOU DO.
Posted by Kathleen French on September 27, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Oh goodness–the things that are unearthed. Here at The Voice we have our sources. Now, we’re hoping (and are fairly confident that) this is an elaborate prank on behalf of the Lampoon or a really bored, disgruntled freshman–but if not, we received this little gem today: an e-mail allegedly sent out over the Eta-Psi fraternity list. It’s about brotherhood alright…if one is to use the term liberally. Just…just read it for yourself:
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“Dearest Brothers,
We come to you today with some exciting news: Mystery Cock of the Week (MCOW) has officially kicked off!
Q: What’s Mystery Cock of the Week?
A: Well, it’s quite simple really. Each week, an email will be sent containing…well… a photo of a mystery cock of a brother of Eta-Psi. Your task as a brotherhood is to correctly identify the owner of said cock. Every Friday at Chapter, the perpetrator will be made known. Feel free to use the list to discuss the cock and speculate its ownership.
Q: Where did this crazy idea come from?
A: It is widely known that many fraternities across the country, for example Delta Chi (DiX), employ MCOW as a method for bringing brothers closer together. What better way to know a brother than in the biblical sense.
Q: What are the rules?
A:
- Each week a cock will be photographed. This cock must be owned by an active brother of the Eta Psi Chapter of the Alpha Epsilon Pi Fraternity (e.g. ***** or ***** would be disallowed).
- The owner must keep his identity hidden until chapter meetings on Friday, but he may contribute to the list discussion.
- The cock owner, when photographed, is prohibited from pumping his cock more than 3 strokes. Erections are prohibited.
- The photo must contain some piece of Harvard paraphernalia in order to ensure that brothers are not stealing cocks from google images.
Q: When is it my turn?
A: Don’t fret! Your turn will come! Names will be drawn from a hat on Saturday afternoon. Your photo must be submitted by 10:00pm on Sunday. MCOW emails will be sent out on Mondays at noon. This should be ample time for any preparations you may make to your cock, if need be.
Q: Any Gay Shit?
A: What do you think? Absolutely not.
Q: Should I open emails sent from mcow.eta.psi@gmail in class, at work, with my girlfriend, with my boyfriend, in the d-hall, with *****, etc.?
A: Cock photos will be embedded into emails (not attached), so discretion is advised.
Q: Will my name be revealed to my corresponding cock in any manner besides verbally?
A: No, cocks will be deleted from the mcow gmail account. There will be no association to you either on the internet or elsewhere.
*IN NO WAY ARE YOU ALLOWED TO DISTRIBUTE COCKS TO ANY PERSONS WHATSOEVER. YOU ARE BOUND BY THE HONOR SYSTEM.*
Once again, welcome. And look out for the first cock at 12:00pm tomorrow.
Good Luck!
May the cock be with you,
MCOW”
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We have a lot of feelings about this that can only be expressed through visual representation.
A tip of the bro hat to you, sir.EDITOR’S NOTE: Certain names were mentioned in the original email but have been replaced with “*” due to the nature of this supposed email.
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