Well, well, freshmen.  For those of you who haven’t yet gotten personal with Mr. John Harvard, tonight is the night for you to begin to work on that storied bucket list of things to do at Harvard before you graduate. Brave souls, check out this link on your guide to getting primal. However, for members of the Class of 2014 with less exhibitionist tendencies, Primal Scream may be a time to pop a squat on the sidelines of the Yard, to eye your classmates getting intimate with the night’s chill air.  For those of you in this latter category, The Voice has prepared the following list of dos and don’ts for Primal Scream observation.

1. Get there on time, leave early.  The participants commence their lap at the stroke of midnight, so tonight is not the time to be fashionably late.  No reason to linger long before or after either; it just seems over-eager.

2. Bring coffee and blankets! Just because the Screamers are exposing themselves to the vice-grip of Cantabrigian winter doesn’t mean you have to, as well.

3. Don’t mention to that random kid in section that you saw him doing Primal Scream, unless you have sufficient reason to believe that the revelation that you have seen his/her goods would be well-received.

4. Go with friends. Standing awkwardly alone to watch naked people becomes a little too voyeuristic even for this display of exhibitionism. For this reason…

What lie will we concoct to tell tourists about this Harvard tradition?

5. Leave your camera home. C’mon, the mental image of 500 of your classmates in their birthday suits should be more than enough to carry with you.  (Also, rumor has it The Voice will be getting some [completely PG and anonymous] pics of the event later tonight!)

6. If you’re planning to witness Primal Scream before you graduate, go your freshman year.  It becomes [a lot more] socially unacceptable to flock to gawk at naked people once you move out of the Yard.

7. Finally, if braving the cold for Primal Scream seems too daunting, be sure to check out the first floor of Lamont at around 11. Typically, the Dudley Co-op has brought the naked party there on the night before finals to ensure that even those who refuse to leave their Harvard study caves get in on the action.

Happy Primal Scream! (And remember, it is at midnight this evening of December 12, in the Yard.)

Halloween will be upon us in only two weeks, and if you’re anything like 95% of the people I’ve talked to in the last week, midterms and papers have frazzled you far beyond the point of thinking about things like costumes (or sleep, or joy and happiness…). To help you out, we’ve come up with a few ideas to help you out with costume design:

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Oh the tourists touch
But shan’t ever know just what’s
Happened to that toe

Kawaii!

If you happened to be near the Yard any time between 3:30 and 4:30pm, chances are you witnessed the spectacle that was the hoard of Japanese students that descended upon our campus and dominated the Kodak moment space in front of our beloved John Harvard.

They migrated through the Yard, flooding the Science Center and creating a bottleneck in the bathroom. But no worries — their smiling faces, dark gray jackets with intricate yellow crests, and knee-high stockings made everything better.

These Sailor Moon-esque schoolchildren made Noice’s day. Visit again, young ‘uns!

Stay tuned for our next installment of Tourist of the Week: In Which The Tourists Become The Toured.

ETA: Another priceless shot.