The Boston Globe is reporting that the casting call has gone out for a new reality show called…wait for it…”Massholes.” The casting call goes as follows:

“You come from all over – Gloucester, Worcester, South End, Charlestown, Chicopee and South Swansea. You share a love for muscle cahs, hair products and little necks on the frickin half shell. You don’t take [crap] from nobody – least of all each othah. You are the hottest girls and proudly buff guys from Massa -freakin-chusettes who believe in God, Family, The Red Sox and partying!!

You ready to live togethah, laugh togethah, drink togethah and love togethah?

You’ll pahty on the beaches of the Cape where Roast Beef Hoagies and cases of Narragansett Light are on every Celtics towel next to a bottle of baby oil and a can of hair spray! Are you down for one wicked cool summah, and be a part of the most wicked reality show evah!

Doron Ofir Casting is looking for blue collar, hard working, harder partying, tough talking, damn good looking Mass natives from all over the state …. Yea we’ll consider preps from Wellsley [sic] too if they got what it takes.

Get Ready for the the summer of your life on the show that will knock the sox off the Red Sox, blow canons from Lexington to Cornwall and make you wish you remembered where you pahked your frickin cah cause that clunker is in Jersey!”

Ok, so we’re just saying…don’t go on this Harvard people…just don’t. Snooki will never live that hot tub episode down. Or the Snooki punch. Definitely the Snooki punch.

Like, that dress is soooo pretty.

I wish I could say that I am having a productive or even semi-productive J-term. But I’m not. Did I just watch an entire season of The City? Yes. This show is addicting, okay? There ought to be more reality shows about perfectly polished, matte-skinned girls out there. What am I going to do now? I am tempted to write an ode to Whitney Port’s parted, pouted mouth or Olivia Palermo’s strangely angular and small face. In the meantime, I’ll have to watch reality shows about perfectly tanned, pouf-haired girls.

What shows have you been watching this J-term? I need recommendations to further the rotting of my brain.