If they did, then maybe this past week, good ol’ Harvard wouldn’t have topped the Princeton Review’s list of the Top 10 Dream Colleges. We reclaimed our golden spot from Stanford, who took last year’s prize for the most-fawned-over. Other schools making the list include Princeton, Yale, MIT and NYU.

So, despite the travesty of only a second-rate hip hop group coming to perform at our annual festival and the continued absence of hot breakfast, people still think Harvard’s a pretty awesome place to be. Quit your whining, folks.

Yes, we miss it, too. But shut up.

(Photo credit: temeculakoreanbbq.com.)

The Crimson’s annual selection of “15 Hottest Freshmen” is an annual target of ridicule and mockery by the bored blogosphere. (Hey, we don’t call it “Harvard hot” for no reason!) While Boston, the place we call “home” and our stock reply to the question: “Where do you go to school?,” doesn’t fare any better. Last year, GQ Magazine named Boston the worst dressed city in America, calling it the country’s “Bad-Taste Storm Sewer: all the worst fashion ideas from across the country flow there, stagnate, and putrefy.” Cambridge also earned a (dis)honorable mention as the “modest little burg” where “everyone dresses like the proprietor of his or her very own meth lab.” Ouch. (But are we really surprised?)

(Mr. John B. Thompson of GQ, if you happen to be reading this, we’d love to meet you. Major hearts.)

This coming week, Harvard’s fashion-related student organizations have teamed up to organize the first ever Harvard Fashion Week. The purpose, evidently, is beautifying the campus and changing the perception that the typical Harvard male spends most of his collegiate career in sweats as his female counterpart prances around in leggings-as-pants, a Northface, and Uggs.

Follow the jump for the listing of events of Harvard Fashion Week, sponsored by Eleganza2012, Identities 2012, the Vestis Council, and the South Asian Association.

Wednesday, March 21st | Identities: Showing of “The September Issue” in Harvard Hall 201 @ 7:30pm

Thursday, March 22nd | Vestis Council: Blog Relaunch Party in Adams UCR @ 9pm

Friday, March 23rd | SAA’s Andaaz: A South Asian Fashion Show in Cabot Theater @ 8pm

Saturday, March 24th | Eleganza: Rent the Runway Trunk Show in Adams UCR @ 2pm

You should go to at least one of these, if not for the free drinks, then for the opportunity to hang out with the hot people of Harvard. See, we didn’t even put that in quotation marks.

(Source: SBNation.)

#besthandshakeever

Now that we’ve sounded just a little needy and insecure, here’s the Harvard Good Guy meme to make us all feel a little less pretentious. A little sweet to go with the sour, if you will.

Get it here while it’s fresh. (We hope) this one’s bound to blow up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=170xV1inVhw

Event is Saturday, February 25th.  Be sure to pick up a ticket fast, because Cultural Rhythms sells out every year.

However, something miraculous happened the next Tuesday. Excited chatter echoed throughout Annenberg. After receiving multiple texts about the event, I immediately rushed to the Berg. I weaved my way to the center table, wondering, “Could it be?”  Yes, it was true – Annenberg had fresh fruit. Freshmen swarmed the table, startled by the fruit salad, blueberries, grapes, pineapples, and strawberries. These items felt so foreign and valuable. I piled my plate with pineapple and skeptically surveyed the hall – what was going on?

It turns out these weren’t one-time inexplicable events. Spring semester has breathed new life into the dining halls. Trying to create more diverse selection of meals, HUDS has tweaked their menu and added exciting new options.

Here are just a few of the new items to check out:

1. Make-Your-Own Korean Barbecue
2. Fresh Fruit Tuesdays
3. New fro-yo flavors (Wild blueberry and pomegranate? Wild is right.)
4. Muffin Make-Over (Fewer calories and more exciting flavors like Orange-Cranberry.)
5. More vegetarian options

If all of this is too much for you to handle, don’t fret – there will always be Tofu Parmesan and Obscure Chickpea Mush to make you remember the value of a home-cooked meal.

#Tooreal.

Last night, a multitude of no less than 700-something Harvard undergraduates ran naked laps around the Yard in a collective state of euphoria.

Donning masks, hats, fake wings, tails, and what-have-you, participants clearly went through thoughtful preparation for this year’s Primal Scream.

“It took me about half an hour to paint it black down there,” said an anonymous participant bearing the lettering “OCCUPY THIS” across his stomach, with an arrow pointing down to his proudly painted crotch.

“This year I definitely witnessed more exposed genitalia than last year. Harvard students are getting better and better at this,” said an unnamed sophomore who has taken part in three Primal Screams, including last night’s.

Meanwhile, the Occupiers took this opportunity to rally more students’ support by giving out free hot cider and cookies to the Screamers, claiming that they “support any kind of freedom of expression, be it naked or clothed.”

Occupiers giving out free cider

The things we write on our butts

Be naked, be merry

The Harvard University Band braving the chilly night to serenade Primal Screamers. 

Check out Coach Tommy Amaker’s thoughts on the accomplishment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoI6Oy5xsE8

Congratulations to Coach Tommy, Keith Wright, Brandyn Curry, Kyle Casey, Oliver McNally, Jonah Travis, Corbin Miller and all the rest on this amazing achievement.

P.S. Be sure to tune in to ESPN 2 on Thursday at 8, when Harvard (8-0) seeks to prolong its undefeated season with a win against current ninth-ranked and defending national champions UConn. For those not keeping track, UConn lost to the team that Harvard ultimately beat to win the Battle 4 Atlantis Tournament over Thanksgiving break.

They have elicited various “Wows” and “Do these guys actually go to Harvard?” comments from onlookers at the Activities Fair earlier this year. Don’t miss out!

Specs: 11.0″ x 8.50″ on glossy calendar paper, printed by Vistaprint.

Price: $12. (Similar calendars sell for $16 on Vistaprint.)

Free shipping by campus mail for Harvard students. Non-Harvard buyers will be charged a flat shipping rate of $3.

Click below to order. Follow the jump for a sneak preview and acknowledgements. You know you want to Facebook-stalk our models ;)

Sneak Preview:

Producer: Michelle Nguyen

Photographers: Kane Hsieh and Heidi Lim

Stylists: Thomas Dai and Schuyler Polk

Hair (on selected models) by Plan B Hair Salon, 99 Mt. Auburn Street

Special Thanks to Pratyusha Yalamanchi, Emily Rutter, Maria Shen and Samuel Lipoff

We’d also like to thank April Sperry, Ricardo Medina, Ingrid Pierre, Alisha Ramos, Collins Riggan, David Goode, Casey Thomson, and various random people in Adams House’s courtyard who lent us their football and reading glasses during the photo shoot.

Models (with class year, in order of appearance):

Gary Carlson, 2013

Charlie Cabot, 2013

Henry Woodward-Fisher, 2012

John Henry Hinkel, 2012

Eddie Horgan, 2014

Bret Voith, 2011

DJ Smolinsky, 2011

Alex Hugon, 2011

Rossi Walter, 2014

Michael Pena, 2013

Spencer Vegosen, 2012

Spenser Goodman, 2014

Jake Boy, 2014

Matt Brown, 2014

Rob Longcor, 2012

James O’Connor, 2013

Jeff Lee, 2011

Hugh Martin, 2012

and Cullen McAlpine, 2011.

Not what they mean by "Crimson ass." (Photo credit: justanimal.org.)

In the past two days, this website and this one have been created, to give Harvard girls the chance to show off their lady bits in support of fair Crimson. These websites seem to be inspired by a page launched two months ago, where men get to show off their goods – hard only, of course.

Presumably to keep things less gender-segregated, this tumblr was created yesterday.  Note the clever slogan that the admin posted at the bottom of the page.

Frankly, I’m intrigued by the motivation behind all of this. Are we all that starved for sexual attention that posting X-rated pics to an anonymous tumblr is the only way to get it? Has reading period driven us all mad already? Or are we, as stereotypical Harvard students, just aching to show the rest of the world how perfectly perky our boobs are, and to hell with it?

The Voice jury is out on this one, but at least maybe for some of you, these websites have brightened the darkness of reading period just a wee bit.