#Tooreal.

Last night, a multitude of no less than 700-something Harvard undergraduates ran naked laps around the Yard in a collective state of euphoria.

Donning masks, hats, fake wings, tails, and what-have-you, participants clearly went through thoughtful preparation for this year’s Primal Scream.

“It took me about half an hour to paint it black down there,” said an anonymous participant bearing the lettering “OCCUPY THIS” across his stomach, with an arrow pointing down to his proudly painted crotch.

“This year I definitely witnessed more exposed genitalia than last year. Harvard students are getting better and better at this,” said an unnamed sophomore who has taken part in three Primal Screams, including last night’s.

Meanwhile, the Occupiers took this opportunity to rally more students’ support by giving out free hot cider and cookies to the Screamers, claiming that they “support any kind of freedom of expression, be it naked or clothed.”

Occupiers giving out free cider

The things we write on our butts

Be naked, be merry

The Harvard University Band braving the chilly night to serenade Primal Screamers. 

Check out Coach Tommy Amaker’s thoughts on the accomplishment:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoI6Oy5xsE8

Congratulations to Coach Tommy, Keith Wright, Brandyn Curry, Kyle Casey, Oliver McNally, Jonah Travis, Corbin Miller and all the rest on this amazing achievement.

P.S. Be sure to tune in to ESPN 2 on Thursday at 8, when Harvard (8-0) seeks to prolong its undefeated season with a win against current ninth-ranked and defending national champions UConn. For those not keeping track, UConn lost to the team that Harvard ultimately beat to win the Battle 4 Atlantis Tournament over Thanksgiving break.

They have elicited various “Wows” and “Do these guys actually go to Harvard?” comments from onlookers at the Activities Fair earlier this year. Don’t miss out!

Specs: 11.0″ x 8.50″ on glossy calendar paper, printed by Vistaprint.

Price: $12. (Similar calendars sell for $16 on Vistaprint.)

Free shipping by campus mail for Harvard students. Non-Harvard buyers will be charged a flat shipping rate of $3.

Click below to order. Follow the jump for a sneak preview and acknowledgements. You know you want to Facebook-stalk our models ;)

Sneak Preview:

Producer: Michelle Nguyen

Photographers: Kane Hsieh and Heidi Lim

Stylists: Thomas Dai and Schuyler Polk

Hair (on selected models) by Plan B Hair Salon, 99 Mt. Auburn Street

Special Thanks to Pratyusha Yalamanchi, Emily Rutter, Maria Shen and Samuel Lipoff

We’d also like to thank April Sperry, Ricardo Medina, Ingrid Pierre, Alisha Ramos, Collins Riggan, David Goode, Casey Thomson, and various random people in Adams House’s courtyard who lent us their football and reading glasses during the photo shoot.

Models (with class year, in order of appearance):

Gary Carlson, 2013

Charlie Cabot, 2013

Henry Woodward-Fisher, 2012

John Henry Hinkel, 2012

Eddie Horgan, 2014

Bret Voith, 2011

DJ Smolinsky, 2011

Alex Hugon, 2011

Rossi Walter, 2014

Michael Pena, 2013

Spencer Vegosen, 2012

Spenser Goodman, 2014

Jake Boy, 2014

Matt Brown, 2014

Rob Longcor, 2012

James O’Connor, 2013

Jeff Lee, 2011

Hugh Martin, 2012

and Cullen McAlpine, 2011.

Not what they mean by "Crimson ass." (Photo credit: justanimal.org.)

In the past two days, this website and this one have been created, to give Harvard girls the chance to show off their lady bits in support of fair Crimson. These websites seem to be inspired by a page launched two months ago, where men get to show off their goods – hard only, of course.

Presumably to keep things less gender-segregated, this tumblr was created yesterday.  Note the clever slogan that the admin posted at the bottom of the page.

Frankly, I’m intrigued by the motivation behind all of this. Are we all that starved for sexual attention that posting X-rated pics to an anonymous tumblr is the only way to get it? Has reading period driven us all mad already? Or are we, as stereotypical Harvard students, just aching to show the rest of the world how perfectly perky our boobs are, and to hell with it?

The Voice jury is out on this one, but at least maybe for some of you, these websites have brightened the darkness of reading period just a wee bit.

(Photo credit: mbtcast.com.)

As reading period drags on and finals loom, the view on our end is looking pretty bleak. In these troubling times, it’s important to take comfort in the fact that there are those unfortunate souls who are worse-off than we are!  In this case, the individuals are some of our fellow college students from around the country, who attend schools that have been rated by the Princeton Review as the twenty colleges with the least happy students.

To make your days a little bit brighter, The Voice happily offers you the complete list of the even-more-downtrodden, in order of increasing suckitude.

20. University of New Orleans

19. Whittier College

18. University of South Dakota

17. University of Maine

16. University of California-Riverside

15. United States Air Force Academy

14. Tuskegee University

13. Fisk University

12. Alfred University

11. NYU

10. CUNY Baruch

9. Illinois Institute of Technology

8. Indiana University of Pennsylvania

7. United States Naval Academy

6. Clarkson University

5. Montana Tech of the University of Montana

4. United States Coast Guard Academy

3. United States Merchant Marine Academy

2. Marywood University

1. New Jersey Institute of Technology

Tl;dr: Quit yo’ bitchin’, Harvard students. Apparently things could be worse.

In bullet points:

- “I applaud the protesters for thinking beyond their own parochial concerns and trying to make society a better place for everyone.”

- “[M]y second reaction was sadness at how poorly informed the Harvard protesters seemed to be. [...] Their complaints seemed to me to be a grab bag of anti-establishment platitudes without much hard-headed analysis or clear policy prescriptions.”

- “Economics 10 is a broad, generalized survey of mainstream economics. You’d get basically the same material at most other universities. I don’t view the study of economics as laden with ideology.”

The best part: “I have been told that at least one of the students who walked out sneaked back in later: he wanted to support the protest but didn’t want to miss the lecture.”

Well, this is still Harvard.

Look out for our profile of N. Gregory Mankiw, the Harvard Professor of Economics, later this month!

Touché.

Credit: HarvardFML

The eight-team tournament took place from Thursday to Saturday at the Atlantis resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas.  Participating in the competition were squads from around the country, including UNC Asheville, the College of Charleston and UMass Amherst.  The heavy favorites to take the trophy were the defending NCAA champions and fourth-ranked UConn Huskies.

Harvard crushed Utah in its first game in the tournament on Thanksgiving Day, 75-47.  During that match-up, senior and Preseason Ivy League Player of the Year Keith Wright scored 13 points, a feat that was doubled by freshman Corbin Miller in a career-high effort for the Crimson newbie. Friday night, Harvard beat number 22-ranked Florida State University in a closely battled 46-41 victory, with senior Oliver McNally leading the team with 9 points, 6 rebounds and 3 assists.

This evening, Harvard sealed the deal with a solid 59-49 victory over the UCF Knights, who had taken out UConn to make it to the championship game. The win brings the Crimson to a 6-0 record this season, with earlier victories over MIT, Holy Cross and Loyola Marymount.

The men’s basketball team has been on an upward trajectory since last school year. In 2010-2011, Wright and McNally, along with current juniors Kyle Casey and Brandyn Curry, led Harvard to tie Princeton for its first-ever Ivy League Championship.

We look forward to following you this season, boys. Go Crimson!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=om0xiUvGqqc

It’s one thing to be a part of the record-low 6.2% admitted Harvard batch. However, when you start to boast about it on the most irrelevant merchandise (what does admission rate have to do with football spirit anyway?), it just shows how desperate you are to let the world know about your academic glory.

Not cool, Harvard. One would expect more ingenuity from this “chosen 6%.”

(Inspired by this article.)