Snow.

Photos by Grace Sun ‘13

by The Voice Staff
December Issue 2009

Primal Scream: it’s the weirdest yet most liberating Harvard tradition. The night before finals, students (both guys and gals) run around the Yard in their birthday suits (or bikinis and masks for those more hesitant of showing off their goodies).

This year, Primal Scream takes place this Friday, December 11th, at midnight. The Voice has compiled a guide for those who will participate in the run, whether it’s your first time or not.

1. Don’t bring a camera! Seriously, nothing screams “creeper” like bringing a camera to an event with a bunch of naked college folk with their ding-dongs and love lumps hanging out.

2. DO wear sneakers! The corners are icy, and slipping could be, well, disastrous.

3. Bring a buddy. Have a bud waiting with a robe/towel/bedsheet/pillow so you don’t have to push your way through the viewing crowds looking for your clothing with all your junk hanging out. That might have been fun when you were sprinting around the Yard with a bunch of other nudies – not so fun when it’s just you with a bunch of … not-nudies.

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The only thing redeeming about this is that new book smell.

What. The. Heck. Is. This?

Here on Noice, we love free things. We love them so much we devote an entire tag to it. We love them so much that we bring you copies of The Voice for free every month. Heck, we’ll even give you two copies if you like! HOWEVER, we do not like to get free crap if it’s actually just crap. This blogger’ll take a free slap in the face over what she and many others received yesterday coming into the yard.

Man, they really had us fooled! We saw some man peddling The Origin of Species 150th Anniversary Edition and grabbed it thinking “Hey! One less thing I’ll have to buy for my Science core!” But alas, a few hours later in the comfortable Snuggie™-fied glory of a common room we discovered… aghast! “THIS ISN’T WHAT WE THOUGHT IT WAS! TROJANS, THIS IS A HOLLOW HORSE! ”

Complete with a “special introduction” by some d-bag named Ray Comfort, this version of the out-of-copyright 19th century classic includes gems like:

After much research, I do concede that you won’t find anything in Darwin’s writings that would indicate that he in any way felt blacks were to be treated as inferior or that his views of them were do to their skin color. He just thought that they were closer to gorillas than whites (33).

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Those who won’t be playing pre-finals academic catch-up after returning from Yale this weekend will have the opportunity to take part in a bizarre farce instead. This Sunday, the MP3 Experiment, apparently a silent and digitalized version of Simon Says, will take place in the Yard at exactly 1:15pm. Included in the informational email was an audio file that participants should download onto their iPod and bring to the event but not listen to prior to the event. Thrown by students from the Graduate School of Education, the event calls to mind October’s flash mob. According to the hosts, it offers a similar kind of spirit.

The Harvard MP3 Experiment is modeled after those of Improv Everywhere, the masterminds behind such youtube classics as the Food Court Musical and No Pants Subway Rides. This event is being run by students at the Harvard Graduate School of Education.  Don’t worry, we’re not going to teach you anything.  Except possibly how to be more awesome.

Wait–why aren’t we doing the no-pants thing instead? Next time, Harvard.

RSVP to the Facebook event here.

Photo courtesy of Robert Southers.

Yes, we can: Barack advocates for better library etiquette.

Loud roommates and claustrophobic Dunster walk-through coffins usually drive people to settle for a long night at Lamont instead. But certain peers, like those who play Miley Cyrus at full volume through their earbuds, can sometimes make us wish we hadn’t trekked all the way to the yard in the first place. Noice sympathizes with those who can’t even find sanctuary at the library. Beware of some of these types of people who may transform what should be a studious environment an experience from hell.

The Widener Walker. Some like to take a break from reading room by browsing the books, but beware of these leisurely strollers. It’s not unusual to see a random person hovering in between the expansive stacks. What’s weird is when they inadvertently end up playing hide and seek with you as you look for that elusive copy of a circa-1960s porn manual for your Lit & Sex paper. Peek-a-boo at its creepiest.
The Cabot Concentrator. Those isolated study rooms in Harvard’s dingiest library look like prison cells for a reason. Aesthetic appeal doesn’t even make the list–people come here to get some serious shit done. Those coffee stains crusted over on virtually every desk would shock us, if not for the fact that there’s probably a guy right now sprawled over his problem set, drooling. Noice advises bringing your own Clorox wipes to get rid of all the mystery bodily fluids.
The Lamont Lurker. Please extrapolate those assumptions you’ve held all along–that kid never ever EVER leaves. Ever. An anonymous source who works a late night shift at access services confirms the fact that these Lamonters will leave their stuff on the table at around 5 in the morning to head back to their house for a quick shower, and promptly plop back at their third floor desk to stick their noses back in the books at around 7am. This urban legend appears more than likely, given…

Today’s public service announcement continues after the jump.
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Okay, I get it–Harvard is purdy. But seriously? A Ziploc bag to collect our leaves with? Where is that going to go? Is customs going to be happy about that? It’s not the crew invasion we need to be worried about this weekend, it’s the clearly irrefutable evidence of LEAF THIEF on campus. Oh, and she is maniacal. Close up after the jump.

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We catch Patrick Kuhn ‘12 just as he enters Harvard Yard through Dexter Gate, dressed to brighten your day and make freshman girls swoon. What a noice outfit!

1) Bright yellow sweater: Gap
2) Candy-striped button-up: Brooks Brothers
3) Blue Mesh Shoes: Generic Man at Berks
4) Grey straight-leg pants: Nineteenth Century
5) Brown leather bag: unknown

Lookin’ sharp, Harvard!

Students dig in front of Matthews Hall

If you’ve passed through the Yard lately, you’ll probably have noticed a peculiar site: students digging wayyyy down deep into the earth. Is this even allowed?!

The answer is yes. Why you ask? Well, that’s the best part: all the digging is actually for a class, Anthropology 1130: Archaeology of Harvard Yard. Yes. There is a class at Harvard that allows you to dig in Harvard Yard. How awesome is that?

Today and yesterday, students from Anthropology 1130: Archaeology of Harvard Yard as well as Anthropology 1010: The Fundamentals of Archaeological Methods & Reasoning have been excavatin’ away to find remains of the Indian College at Harvard, one of Harvard’s first buildings, which stood from the 1650’s until 1698. Read more to see what kinds of stuff they found.

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Wtf?

This Noice blogger was walking back to Eliot from the Science Center and happened across this sorry sight.

I just had to snap it.

I heard the infant murmur that it had come too close to the Japanese school group last afternoon when they were taking photos at the John Harvard statue, so one of the teachers disemboweled him.

Poor thing.

Students in the yard are accustomed to all type of noise. They grudgingly acknowledge (and sometimes attend) the numerous a Capella performances, impromptu jam sessions, and other raucous events that happen at all hours of the day and night. However, students and tourists alike were surprised to hear the unmistakable sound of bagpipes this afternoon coming from Memorial Church. The reason: a memorial service for Brendan A. Maher, an Emeritus professor of the Psychology of Personality. The result: many of Maher’s friends, colleagues, and family attended a touching memorial service which ended with a spectacular bagpipes display while nearby students locked themselves inside despite the beautiful weather to escape the noise.

"Can you speak a little louder?"

Tourists are a part of the Harvard experience. Freshmen hoping to sleep in on a weekday morning have their plans foiled by tour groups led by guys carrying umbrellas, wearing bright hats, or “Havhahd” shirts. We become accustomed to giving directions to Memorial Church, the Science Center, and Annenberg. And so, in true Noice fashion, we have embarked on a weekly photoblog, Tourist of the Week, to document the tourists’ crazy shenanigans (posing with a fire hydrant or with the latest fliers near Lamont).

This week, we bring you one of the biggest and oldest groups of tourists we’ve seen in a long time. Maybe the tour guide is asking if any of them remember when John Harvard donated books to the college?

So, if you see a tourist do something hilarious, crazy, or just plain stupid, tell us about it. Take a picture and send it in at thehvoicemail@gmail.com. We might just include it in our next installment of Tourist of the Week.