We get a lot of crazy people submitting to Harvard FML. Mostly high school students. Who are extremely confused about the fact that Harvard FML is indeed, only for Harvard students.

And then sometimes we get this:

Yeah, so anyway.

Hi everyone! Hope your summers have been grand so far.

Some of you may have noticed that the submission process for Harvard FML is a bit different now. Instead of typing in your FML on the home page, you must now go to a submit page.

Although we realize this may cause some inconvenience on behalf of our readers, our previous method of collecting submissions was a bit glitchy (it was cutting off submissions, not processing submissions all together, etc.) so we had to resort to a separate submit page.

If you’re a computer whiz and can help us figure out a simple way of returning it to the old process of submission-through-homepage, shoot us an email at thehvoicemail@gmail.com.

Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Last Sunday, Reverend Jonathan C. Page, the Epps Fellow at Memorial Church, gave a sermon with a title we are all familiar with: “FML.”

Yes, the sermon was about Harvard FML.

Perhaps the greatest part of the sermon is hearing Reverend Page read aloud some of the embarrassing and outrageous posts from Harvard FML. Yet, he also explores with a critical eye the nature and the “disturbing” mentality that the website fosters, warning against the kind of cynical reduction which the three letters, “FML” may propose.

“Expressing frustration through FML might work, instead of just saying ‘don’t worry, be happy’…but is it ideal? Is that the way we should cope with the bumps of our life?” Page asks. “Everytime something bad happens you shrug it off with the phrase, ‘F my life.’”

Reverend Page strikes a chord in every Harvard student’s heart when he warns against seeing the world “through FML glasses.”

“You turn a written assignment, which might be an opportunity for learning and expanding your horizons, into a burden,” he says. “You take the complex world of relationships into the simple calculus of sex.”

Yet, Harvard FML does seem to have some redeeming qualities. Page explores some of the more serious FML posts that express deep pain, the ones that use FML as “a coping mechanism,” making light of difficult situations “so that others may see.” Read the rest of this entry »

The Voice Vixen is a collective username used by members and non-members of The Voice (girls AND guys) who wish to contribute articles related to sex, relationships, or lack thereof. Email us a piece to get published anonymously at thehvoicemail@gmail.com.

“I settle for a new hookup each weekend since no guy here wants a relationship. FML”

- HarvardFML, November 9, 2010

I’m tired of it. There have been a countless number of FML’s submitted by girls at this college who echo the sentiments of the statement above. Here’s the scenario: girl wants a relationship. Girl assumes the best way to do so is to hook up with every dangly piece of manmeat available. Girl ends up getting hurt after realizing dangly piece of manmeat is only seeking dangly parts of girlflesh.

Aw yeah. Get some.

Ladies, I’ve been there before. My freshman year was one filled with sexcapades galore — some with the hopes of a relationship, others not

so much. All involved some form of alcohol. The best lesson I learned though is not to give in to the theory that having a hookup is the only path to having a relationship. While there are some exceptionally rare cases (I’m sure there out there somewhere, although I’ve yet to see one), it doesn’t happen. You may think that a guy is really into you because he’s like, totally feeling you up on the dancefloor and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. You may think that a guy is really into you because you guys had like, a totally awesome conversation in bed the morning after. And he even walked you home! What a fucking gentleman! So you wait for him to contact you for lunch or dinner or something. And wait. And wait some more. Nothing.

Are these guys assholes? No. They’re just guys. But more than that, they’re guys who got the wrong impression from you. Listen lady, if you’re willing to wear a skimpy little outfit to a sweaty dancefloor, leave with some dude, do the pantless dance, and then give him a nice kiss goodbye…he’s probably 1) not looking for a relationship and 2) probably thinks that you’re not looking for a relationship either.

“Be a total bitch.” This is the best advice a guy has ever given me. What was the question I asked him? It was basically, “How do I express interest in a relationship without being a total slut?” And he told me to be a bitch. Did you just meet a dude? Great. Is he trying to stick his tongue down your throat? Okay, fine. Is he trying to manhandle your ladyparts? STOP. Be a bitch. Tell him no. He’ll get the point. If a guy is really into you, he’ll take the time and effort to get to know you instead of jumping straight to the goods. If he isn’t looking for something like that, he just won’t call or text or Gchat or Facebook you or whatever it is people do these days to stay in touch with would-be partners. And you’ll know that you should move on.

What do you think?

Here's a bunch of pictures of a facially expressive cat to make you feel better.

Dear PreFroshies,

Don’t worry that’s not what we really call you, that’s just a term of endearment we’re using for the sake of this letter. The Voice runs a little thing called Harvard FML. It’s really for us undergrads here at the school (and occasionally a sex-starved grad student) but you often send us anonymous submissions too. Like this recent one that didn’t quite make the cut:

“I’m two months away from graduating from High School and I’m pretty nervouse and scared!!”

We didn’t post it— not because we don’t like you or because you spelled nervous wrong. But we wanted to acknowledge it anyway. Don’t worry little pepper pot. College is going to be fabulous (that is if you are going to college and you are going to Harvard… otherwise we’re not sure why you’re on this site or posting on our FML so we can’t make guarantees). Harvard pretty much spoils its students— and especially you Freshmen. You’ll make lots of friends because everyone wants friends and no one will know you fell on your face in your high school’s production of The Music Man because the hem on your costume was too long. My, my that was oddly specific. But I REALLY digress:

Chill out. Enjoy your senior spring, and do try your best to shake your senioritis before you get here. Even then it’s not the end of the world.

Love,

The Voice

i had to take a break from reading comments to watch the opening segments of an old Ellen where everyone dances because i was getting anxious.

55 comments & counting.

I think it’s time to go regress and watch episodes of Arthur. Putting on the Christmas onesie…

by Ingrid Pierre ‘12
December 2009 Issue

Dear Undergrads,

If you thought four days of Thanksgiving break were hard, try this newly extended break on for size. J-Term? More like “J-Terminate me, now”! Some of you may wonder, what’s so bad about several weeks of continuous break with family-members-who-love-you-dearly-and-haven’t-seen-you-in-months-and-want-to-catch-up-really-badly-but-not-before-you-show-them-how-to-work-skype-so-you-can-call-grandma-and-then-fix-the-TV-that’s-been-broken-since-you-left-because-no-one-else-knows-how-to-do-it? (Yeah…) Perhaps that’s assuming a great deal about your home life. But that’s just the thing; you do have a home life and a Harvard life. And if you’re an ordinary person, you should know that there’s a clear distinction between the two.

So for those of you who may not know what you’re in for this break, we’ve come up with a little advice on how to ease back into Kansas, Dorothy.

Social Etiquette:

• If someone asks you about school, just smile and say it’s all good. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT mention how horrible CS50 was or bring up any readings and assignments in conversation. No one cares. We mean it. Also, tone down the big words and use of obscure eponymous adjectives. While you may fling around a “panegyric”, “heteronormative”, or “Aeschylean” on the daily here, everyone else will think you’re a tool.
• Don’t wear your COOP approved Harvard gear in public. Keep a low profile, and don’t rub it in people’s faces that you go here, besides any schmoe can get a Harvard shirt. I mean your cousins probably wear theirs all the time (for the ladies, of course). Read the rest of this entry »

Continuing our Diary of a… series. Inspired by Harvard FML.

October 3, 2009: Damn it. My roommate came back while I was in the shower again. Singing. Loudly. No, I’m not in any of the a capella groups. WHY THE EFF IS PARTY IN THE U.S.A. SO DAMN CATCHY. I want my testicles back. I feel like R. Kelly. She’s like 11. But…I just want to move my hips like yeah. I guess I never got the memo…

These bros dig Taylor Swift. Do you?

October 23, 2009: On my run today “Nobody’s Perfect,” came on and I got caught at a light and couldn’t cross—and not realizing how loud it was playing and how much I was bobbing my head, a little girl, about the age of 12….yeah definitely 12, laughed at me. She laughed at me. I’m just going to Hemenway and watching some Ultimate Fighting while I pump iron. Just after I finish running to “Best of Both Worlds.”

Read the rest of this entry »

The shirt design. Dear Yale: FYL.

The Harvard-Radcliffe Orchestra released its t-shirt design for Harvard-Yale. Its design trumps all the other clubs’ designs. And we’re being totally unbiased. Okay, not really. The shirts are a fun nod to Harvard FML and present a simple way of saying “YOU SUCK” to Yale.

So next week, when myriads of student groups wave their tempting shirts at you, you should make a beeline for these babies.

Yale University has created YaleFML.com. Can we get a “L-O-L”? There is no indication of any one organization in charge of the site, so we are assuming it is a personal venture of sorts. Noice is proud of them for following in our valiant footsteps. We challenge YaleFML to a duel of sorts. A duel of how f*cked our lives are, but I think they’ve just gotten a head start by virtue of copying us. Congrats!

Yale FML has also taken the initiative to create collegefml.com. “Want to start an FML for your school or become a moderator for your school’s FML?” the site reads. Looks like The Voice has created a monster. Sorry, world.

What are your thoughts on Yale FML?

Noice is proud to announce that The Voice and HUTV have partnered up to present to you the first ever Harvard FML Video Contest! Submit your FML on video and win an awesome prize. Your video will be posted on both HUTV, Harvard FML, and Noice. You will also probably become dangerously famous. Click here for more info on how to do this. Good night and good luck.