Posted by Sandy Xu on November 29, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Reading period is fast approaching. You know what that means: winter formals. Still don’t have a date? You shouldn’t have to stress about that on top of your end-of-term projects and papers, so The Voice has some helpful advice for asking that cute girl/guy in the most easy, efficient, and thrilling manner possible. (But if your desired date is a former hook up, think again. Do you really want to spend that much time with this person with your clothes on?)
For girls: Write your number on your bra and toss it to attractive passersby from your window. “Top of the Hub,” you say, batting your eyelashes, “Interested?” “I like being on top,” your date replies. Eyebrow wiggle. And then you can work out the details on the phone, because you just (sort of) exchanged numbers. Of course, this can also work for guys who wear bras.
For guys: Write your number on your boxers and toss it to attractive passersby from your window. “When Hell Freezes Over,” you say, flexing abs that your target can’t see but can inevitably sense are rock-hard and recently oiled, “We can grind all night long.” “Douchebag,” s/he yells in disgust, stomping away, leaving you to wonder what part of your invitation was offensive.
All right, this would work better with a different formal theme. But anyway, if you’re a girl who wears boxers, you should give it a shot, too.
Variations of this technique include asking your potential date to coffee and personally handing them the undergarment (perhaps while throwing in quick caress of the wrist) when you part ways, and stuffing said undergarment into his/her backpack during section after you scribble your invite in his/her notes.
Now, we realize this may come off as a bit forward. As countless posts on HarvardFML indicate, while Harvard students are leaders in their academic and extracurricular pursuits, they can be incredibly timid in the realm of romance. The Voice would like to see Harvardians applying the assertiveness they demonstrate in HMUN meetings to dating. That said, winter formals don’t even have to be real dates–they often aren’t! You can totally rub up against people in a platonic way! It happens on the T all the time! Besides, you just gave a stranger your number on your bra, who do you think is in the position of power?
Here’s a reminder of what’s going down.
Adams: Harry Potter Winter Formal
Dec. 5, 10 p.m.-2 a.m. @ Dhall
Dunster: Wintry Things
Dec. 8, 10 p.m.-2 a.m. @ Dhall
Eliot: When Hell Freezes Over
Dec. 6, 10 p.m.-2 a.m. @ Dhall
Kirkland: Holiday Dinner and Dance
Dec. 4, 10 p.m.-2 a.m. @ Dhall
*restricted to Kirkland residents (IncestFest…lol)
Leverett: Night at the Top
Dec. 2, 9 p.m.-1 a.m @ Top of the Hub Skywalk Observatory at the Prudential Center
Lowell: Yule Ball
Dec. 4, 9:30 p.m.-2:30 a.m. @ JCR
Mather+Winthrop Winter Formal
Dec. 3, 9:30 p.m.-1:30 a.m. @ Sheraton Commander Hotel
*restricted to Mather/Winthrop residents and their dates
The Quad: ICED
Dec. 5, 10 p.m.-2 a.m. @ Westin Hotel
Dec. 4, 10 p.m.-2 a.m. @ Dhall
For Freshmen: A Midwinter Night’s Dream
Jan. 28, 9 p.m.-1 a.m. @ Boston Park Plaza
*restricted to freshmen