A Guide to BS-ing
Posted by The Voice Staff on October 19, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Also known as, the BEST HarvardFML comment in a while, by Surly:
“Don’t worry, you’ll learn. Some handy bullshitting techniques include:
1. Every male character is gay. If he has positive social interactions with another male character, it’s because he’s attracted to him. If he has negative social interactions with another male character, it’s because he’s repulsed by his own attraction.
2. Everything is about the author’s childhood. Go on Wikipedia and look up the names of the author’s parents, town and street where he grew up, etc. Every time you see a word that’s associated with one of those things, or a synonym for one of those words, it’s about how the author felt about that thing from his childhood.
3. If it was written after 1940, every negative character is a metaphor for Hitler.
4. If it was written after 1918, every unpleasant situation is a metaphor for trench warfare.
5. If it was written in the 1800s, replace Hitler with Napoleon and trench warfare with the French Revolution.
6. Every character is mentally ill. If you’ve taken psych, great! If not, babble about the collective unconscious and transference until the TF starts to look uneasy.
7. Every character with a negative attitude towards anything is a hypocrite. No exceptions. Your proof that the character is a hypocrite does not have to make sense.
8. If you accidentally propose something chronologically and geographically ridiculous, such as that Machiavelli wrote The Prince as satire to critique the excesses of the Meiji Restoration, double down. It just proves how prescient the author was.”
2. Everything is about the author’s childhood. Go on Wikipedia and look up the names of the author’s parents, town and street where he grew up, etc. Every time you see a word that’s associated with one of those things, or a synonym for one of those words, it’s about how the author felt about that thing from his childhood.
3. If it was written after 1940, every negative character is a metaphor for Hitler.
4. If it was written after 1918, every unpleasant situation is a metaphor for trench warfare.
5. If it was written in the 1800s, replace Hitler with Napoleon and trench warfare with the French Revolution.
6. Every character is mentally ill. If you’ve taken psych, great! If not, babble about the collective unconscious and transference until the TF starts to look uneasy.
7. Every character with a negative attitude towards anything is a hypocrite. No exceptions. Your proof that the character is a hypocrite does not have to make sense.
8. If you accidentally propose something chronologically and geographically ridiculous, such as that Machiavelli wrote The Prince as satire to critique the excesses of the Meiji Restoration, double down. It just proves how prescient the author was.”
Can you say #lifesaver?
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