It’s one thing to be a part of the record-low 6.2% admitted Harvard batch. However, when you start to boast about it on the most irrelevant merchandise (what does admission rate have to do with football spirit anyway?), it just shows how desperate you are to let the world know about your academic glory.

Not cool, Harvard. One would expect more ingenuity from this “chosen 6%.”

(Inspired by this article.)

The notoriously snarky website Gawker caught wind of a Crimson editorial on Harvard students using Facebook in the classroom, or what most of us would simply call procrastinating. The article, however, takes this intuitive answer in an entirely different direction. Maureen O’Connor for Gawker introduces the piece with: “Elite college newspaper The Harvard Crimson has noticed a trend.”

Turns out in the Crimson the answer to why students use Facebook in lectures, or basically all the time, is not that everyone likes it/is stalking everyone else, but rather that we are a hoard of “Return On Time Investment” super-students. Hemi H. Gandhi for the Crimson writes, “During class, students will give their attention to whatever they think will give them the most utility in each moment. Past generations of students must also have wanted to maximize their ROTI during class. But technological innovation has provided today’s students with more options to do so in real time, via their smartphones and laptops.” Gawker deftly responds with this long reason of why we use Facebook with “According to my Harvard-to-English dictionary, the [former] translates roughly to: “Cuz we feel like it.”

When Gandhi continues on this line of reasoning, arguing for more innovative teaching practices to keep students’ attention, Gawker inserts “Also, Zuckerberg.” We’re inclined to agree with Gawker on this one–people, not just Harvard students, use Facebook to procrastinate. Sure, there are tons of incredible internet resources, but Facebook is not exactly one of them for maximizing critical thinking. Facebook usage in class doesn’t have to do with ROTI or seeing how much we can multi-task. It’s making sure that one guy/girl that you dated in high school is not happier than you.

Check out Gawker’s article: http://gawker.com/5852770/harvard-investigation-why-does-everyone-play-on-facebook-during-class

Check out the Crimson’s article: http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2011/10/24/facebook-class-phenomenon/

You may remember these two creepy twins from The Social Network movie… or The Shining. Apparently $65 million isn’t good enough. You know what is though? Biceps.

More homoerotic highlights can be found at Gawker.

We gon' kick yo ass, Zuck! (After we admire ourselves.)