Well, not really. But these food deals will certainly lessen the pain!

- ON CAMPUS -

Brought to us by the Common Spaces Committee. Odd name? Maybe. But it’s still free food!

Wednesday: KETTLE CORN from 12:30pm-3:00pm outside Lehman Hall (the ART is also presenting a preview of a new play, Johnny Baseball, at 12:30pm). It’s like killing two birds with one stone! You can pretend to look artsy while devouring your free corn.

Thursday: KLONDIKE BARS from 2:00pm-3:00pm at the Gazebo outside Grays Hall. Bonus: A prime view of the colorful chairs and newly installed Wetu nearby in the Old Yard.

- OFF CAMPUS -

Between May 7 and May 16, head over to any Starbucks store between 3 and 5 p.m. and get a Frappuccino blended beverage at half price!

Happy eating and drinking! Just don’t put the blame on us after you step on that weighing scale.

In the first two weeks back, the new menu addresses your requests for:

Fish, (preparations other than fried)
Salmon with dill herb crust (lunch, 1/26)
Potato-crusted baked pollack (dinner 1/27)
San Fran fish stew (dinner, 2/2)
Clams with white wine sauce (lunch, 2/5)
Hoison glazed salmon (dinner 2/5)
Steak
London broil (dinner, 1/27)
Roast beef sirloin strip (dinner, 2/3)
Potstickers or Chinese dumplings (dinner, 1/25 and 2/5)

Korean food
Barbecue make-your-own station every Tuesday night
Barbecued chicken (dinner, 2/1)
Grilled tofu (dinner, 2/7)
More stews and comfort-style foods, including:
Salisbury Steak (dinner 1/26)
Beef stew (dinner 1/28)
Pork chops (dinner 2/2)
Pie at least once per week at dinner (apple 1/26, cherry 2/2, blueberry 2/3)

You love Indian food, so we brought back the popular Curry & Naan make-your-own station for the balance of the semester last year. Now we’ll keep you in curry with Chick Pea or Chicken Tikka Masala, but turn our make-your-own stations to two new themes: the previously noted Korean Barbecue on Tuesday nights, and the new Mediterranean Mezze on Mondays. Mezze translates to appetizers, or little bites, and you’ll enjoy a variety of flavors from the Mediterranean region of cuisine.

Friday nights’ internationally themed menus will also take us to new places (and some of your favorite cuisines), starting with the warming Carribean on Friday night, and then travelling to China on Feb. 5, Italy on Feb. 12, and Texas on Feb. 19.

Finally, we’d like to welcome you back with an elegant Winter Wonderland festive meal at brunch on Sunday, January 31. Indulge in Maine lobster bisque, omelets made-to-order, a carvery of crusted steamship of beef, crispy French toast, eggplant ravioli, potato latkes, a chocolate fountain, and more.

Hold onto your big bowed-headbands and fro-yo loving pants upper-Cambridge-siders, there’s a new chain coming to town. Noice would like to alert you that the infamous frozen yogurt chain Pinkberry of Los Angeles and New York City fame is on its way to Boston. Looks like Berryline will have to step up the competition—not to mention Red Mango is now in the mix too. This is like the East Coast/West Coast rap battle but way more delicious.

What do you think of this froyo battle? Who’s gonna win?

Photo credit: here.

Introducing LE WHIF, the product of the tireless of work of Harvard Professor David Edwards and his team of students. Edwards writes: “Over the centuries we’ve been eating smaller and smaller quantities at shorter and shorter intervals. It seemed to us that eating was tending toward breathing, so, with a mix of culinary art and aerosol science, we’ve helped move eating habits to their logical conclusion. We call it whiffing.” All sounds very odd to us, but here goes!

The small lipstick sized plastic container fits comfortably in the hand and is very light. Pull it out, raise it to the lips and inhale! Suddenly a rush of the most delicious chocolate flavor as thousands of aerosol chocolate particles burst onto the tongue. LE WHIF comes in three awesome flavors (Noice loves them all very, very much): Dark (rich, creamy tasting) Chocolate, Mint Chocolate, and Raspberry Chocolate. Each LE WHIF is worth three or four shots (or whiffs?!) of chocolate heavenly-ness and, whilst you’re not enjoying the instant chocolate satisfaction, you can simply click it shut and pop it back into your manbag, purse, or pocket.

LE WHIF is doing the rounds in many of the upperclassmen houses so keep a look out and tell your friends. However, more importantly, come along to the Grand Opening of The Laboratory this Sunday 8th in the late afternoon and witness an incredible (and sometimes chocolaty) collision of art and science. Buy those tickets!

(If you’re interested in learning more about LE WHIF and the other amazing products by this group just go to www.lewhif.com and www.thelaboratory.harvard.edu)

Photos courtesy of www.lewhif.com

These are pictures of dishes that were just so good that I needed a visual testimony to their toe-curling deliciousness, and can only be fully appreciated one at a time.

So my first treat comes from Susan Feniger’s Street in Los Angeles. These savory little packages of pleasure are Spinach Varenykys, Ukranian pan-fried dumplings filled with spinach and a light layer of salted cheese. Fried onions and lemon marmalade offset the luxuriously creamy filling.

Now if this isn’t masochism for the palate, I couldn’t tell you what is.

Panzanella is a Tuscan bread salad that traditionally contains tomatoes, basil, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and, yes, stale bread. The dining halls put their own spin on it by also providing us with arugula, olives, and pickled onions. When the panzanella has been prepared appropriately, the slightly dense, crusty bread is mollified by the absorption of some of the oil, vinegar, and juices from the vegetables; however, it still gives the salad some texture by retaining a bit of its chewiness.

I find it to be a lovely, well-balanced salad, but am always slightly put off by the bags of pre-cubed, mass-market bread, and also miss an integral part of my meat-loving, quotidian diet: protein. Read how I improve upon the panzanella after the jump.

To fix my stale-bread laden, protein-deficient dish, I make a sandwich. I ditch hard cubes for a warm whole-grain roll, and order a chicken breast from the grill. To my complete shock and pleasure, the last time I ordered from the grill the chicken was actually seasoned and perfectly adorned with crosshatched grill marks. Oh simple joys. Then I simply halve my roll, slice my chicken, dice my tomatoes, and mince some olives. To assemble my sandwich I layer arugula, chicken, diced tomatoes, minced olives, pickles, onions, and torn basil leaves. Finally to finish, I drizzle some of the new balsamic vinaigrette (literally 1/30 the calories of the old, gloppy variety) and crack some fresh pepper over the filling.

And there you have it. A simple reworking of the ingredients already provided by HUDS to make a fresh, fully balanced DIY D-Hall creation. Who knew college cooking could be as simple and as satisfying as unstale bread?

In-your-face vegan food. Mmhmm.

Snowballs from hell?

Half-assed chili?

Broke-ass cinnamon rolls?

Butt ugly sticky buns?!

Don’t be alarmed. It’s PETA’s Vegan College Cookbook!

Noice was at the COOP Tuesday evening to taste, prod, and scratch our heads at a veritable smorgasbord of PETA-blessed vegan food aimed at the average college bro, nerd, Harvard student, etc.

To entice us to buy, a selection of dishes from the cookbook — microwave-baked “Beer Bread,” vegan shepard’s pie and a selection of salads — were all on offer.

Our verdict? The beer bread was edible, but not my first choice of call when it comes to baked goods. Salads were salads, and the shepard’s pie was stone cold.

Noice gets the very strong feeling that a board room of PETA execs sat down and, in an attempt to solve the problem of how to recruit cool young things like us to join the animal rights movement, pulled together a cookbook that attempted to demonstrate how viable it is to become vegan.

Sadly, all they came up with was this:

How appetizing.

• Vegan Grilled Cheese: Substitute vegan cheese. Sandwich it between slices of bread. Grill.
• Yogurt Parfait: Layer soy yogurt and berries.
• BLT: Vegan bacon, lettuce, and tomato.

Can you say “duh”? If you need a cookbook to learn how to make a grilled cheese, then you don’t belong in college. Perhaps this book should be called the Brain-dead’s Guide to Veganism.

Not only were the recipes lacking, but they had names that made us weep (from disgust, not amusement). For instance, “Breakup Pudding,” “Pimp My Ramen Noodles,” “Fake Blondes.”

Also, a tip to PETA: If you want to make veganism more accessible to college kids, don’t include ingredients like soy cheese and vegan chili. We’re on a budget. A trip to Whole Foods would wipe us out.

Oh, the things people will do for free food.

The verdict: Sorry, but this book isn’t gonna sell veganism to us, much less college veganism.

But, what is designed as a respite for the weary, a regular oasis in the desert of academia, actually turns out to be very little. What, in fact, does Brain Break offer to those seeking reprieve from the mountains of work bearing down on them and sustenance to keep going on the climb?

On this lovely Sunday, what does Leverett offer to its denizens?

Tasty! Not.

Answer: Not much (that’s edible, anyway).

The spread:

• Chocolate and vanilla cupcakes with icing
• Eggo waffles with syrup, a daily offering here
• Bagels, breads, and other motley refined carbohydrates
• Butter, cream cheese, peanut butter, jelly, and all the other goopy mixings to make the carbs taste less bland
• Fountain soda and milk
• A small basket of fruit that never lasts past 8:30 p.m.

Grade: C-

Looking at Lev’s spread makes us wonder: Is brain break really a service to Harvard students?

We here at Noice don’t like to be negative Nancy’s, but we think it’s time brain break got a revamp. As much as we love our Marshmallow Mateys, they leave our stomachs growling after an hour and our eyelids drooping faster than a Gov textbook. We’re thinkin’ fresher and healthier foods and more options. HUDS promised to add more emphasis to brain break with the absence of hot breakfast, but these added efforts need to be re-directed, in our humble opinion, away from sugar and carbs.

Gruyere and thyme crackers, perhaps?

Noice's alternative to soggy PB&Js at FlyBy.

Let’s face it–that line at Flyby down in freezing-cold Loker is never going to get shorter before 1pm, so it’s time to find new digs to refuel after Mankiw’s lecture on… whatever. (Not like anyone was listening.) Next time, venture into Café Gato Rojo, almost hidden between Grays and Matthews and nestled in a nook underneath Dudley House, for a quick cappuccino and for a nice respite from the lunchtime fury.

With a conscientious menu of fair-trade coffees, Gato Rojo also offers muffins, scones, and other baked goods made fresh daily. For those not inclined toward caffeine (to which we say “WTF”), a generous selection of bottled juices, loose teas, and other beverages are also available. Not only do they take Crimson Cash, but a small coffee only costs around a buck. Read more about the hipster invasion at Dudley’s premiere lunch spot after the jump.

Enjoy your light lunch in the dimly-lit but cozy comfort of the quaint coffee house in large leather armchairs in the middle of the room. Don’t be shocked at the number of people wearing Wayfarers paired with tattered rugs masquerading as scarves; the café is frequented by musty-smelling and pasty-looking grad students trying to find self-actualization by downing three espressos in a row. Anyone hoping to check up on email before class in WiFi-hating Sanders shouldn’t be surprised if he/she can’t grab a table, as customers hover near the few outlets like gnats. But if nothing else, let the jazz music in the background give you a false impression of your French sophistication–and the fact that you’re surrounded by neon-pants-wearing hipsters reading about the anguish of modernity for their afternoon philosophy class bring you back to earth.

Er–I mean, Harvard.

Photo courtesy of Carrots ‘N’ Cake Blog.