Yep. We’d say that’s a pretty accurate reaction to finals. The end is near though! God speed, everyone.

This week, adding to our online anthology, some poems on the bitterness of a transient existence. Just remember that first of Four Noble Truths? “Life is suffering.”

Know why I am screwed?
900 pages to read.
Ugh, English Major.

Know why I’m not screwed?
I was done a week ago.
Yay for VES.

Procrastinating,
By writing haiku poems:
A dumb idea.

Fetal position.
I will take my exam in
Fetal position.

by Henry Woodward-Fisher ‘12
December 2009 Issue

So, it’s Fall Exam Period 2009, freezing outside, you forgot to wear your sneakers and you’re now nursing Primal Scream induced frostbite and grazed knees. How will you get through the next week or so when Reading Period was such a disaster? You’re feeling especially out of shape after running around Harvard Yard in your birthday suit and you’ve still got a lot of BoardPlus and Crimson Cash to use up before the start of the holidays. What the hell is the blood-brain barrier anyhow? How on earth are you ever going to get through this new calendar?

ON PROCRASTINATION:

White Noise Generator – Just click on www.simplynoise.com to get the Internet’s purest and highest quality white noise (y’know the sound that TV makes when it’s not on a channel), it apparently aids sleep and helps block out other distractions.

LeechBlock – Go here for a Firefox extension that blocks websites (like Facebook, I Saw You Harvard, Twitter, etc.) that you might be tempted to visit repeatedly as you study.

MeeTimer – This Firefox add-on logs how much time you have spent on each site that you visit. It can give you pop-up reminders if you are spending too much time on procrastination web sites.

Things to avoid: Never, repeat, never go to meatspin.org or hippohippo.ytmnd.com – such things will only lead to unhappiness and awkward looks from others.

Read the rest of this entry »

by Kathleen French ‘13
December 2009 Issue

Through a very long and strenuous interviewing process, I was able to discern exactly how Harvardians spend their week of studying. Of course you have your library addicts (c.f. “Diary of a Lamonster”) but now they’ve been amplified to levels of sleep deprivation previously unheard of. Some people simply stay awake, and then just keep trying to stay awake…to see how long they can survive. Read the rest of this entry »

by The Voice Staff
December Issue 2009

Primal Scream: it’s the weirdest yet most liberating Harvard tradition. The night before finals, students (both guys and gals) run around the Yard in their birthday suits (or bikinis and masks for those more hesitant of showing off their goodies).

This year, Primal Scream takes place this Friday, December 11th, at midnight. The Voice has compiled a guide for those who will participate in the run, whether it’s your first time or not.

1. Don’t bring a camera! Seriously, nothing screams “creeper” like bringing a camera to an event with a bunch of naked college folk with their ding-dongs and love lumps hanging out.

2. DO wear sneakers! The corners are icy, and slipping could be, well, disastrous.

3. Bring a buddy. Have a bud waiting with a robe/towel/bedsheet/pillow so you don’t have to push your way through the viewing crowds looking for your clothing with all your junk hanging out. That might have been fun when you were sprinting around the Yard with a bunch of other nudies – not so fun when it’s just you with a bunch of … not-nudies.

Read the rest of this entry »

Probably doesn't look this classy.

Today is Day One of the UC’s “Reading Period Giveaways.” Here’s what they’re giving away today:

1. Free backrubs in Ticknor Lounge today from 1-3pm.
2. Free hot cider in Greenhouse Cafe from 6-7pm.

Noice is a fan of hot cider, so we think this is pretty cool. Follow the UC’s blog, UC Juicy, for updates on what else they’re giving away this week! (We hope it’s something along the lines of a “NO EXAMS PASS.” Or something.)