Being a freshman boy just got more awkward.

Excitement ensued when a “select” group of 2015 guys earned this exclusive invite. They donned their best jackets and ties, dreaming of final clubs and avoiding their typical weekend (getting laughed at by final club bouncers, wandering Mass Ave in a crowd of at least 15, and being busted by their proctor before even getting a buzz). Once again, the upperclassmen were the only ones having real fun – turns out the invites were a fake.

Thanks to the Lampoon for pulling this Wednesday night prank. Sorry boys – maybe next year! Regrets only indeed.

OMG MOOSE!

Unless you have been living under a rock, are Amish, or were raised by wolves, you must be aware of the phenomenon that is Twitter and how it is taking the world by storm. Everyone from professional athletes to to acne-covered tweens is tweeting, but there is one particular account that caught our eye at the Voice.

The account name is “Harvard Hoochies” and the bio reads that the account holder(s) are “BU biddies, hooching and husband hunting at Harvard Final Clubs. We ward off RUHGs (random ugly Harvard girls)…frequently.”

One gem of a post reads, “when you slip a final club man your number, make sure it’s not on a piece of historical paper with their founders’ story#oopsydaisies” while another boasts, “Owl, ad, fly… All conquered last night”.

BU Biddies talking after a successful night of Final Club raging...

To follow the BU biddies on their search for love, money, and men, simply visit https://twitter.com/harvardhoochies and let the amusement begin!

Source: Telephone Pictionary

From a thread recently forwarded to Voice on September 30th, a little Female Final Club mix-up has caused some dire distress. The club sent out an invite to all its punchees — from LAST YEAR. Strangely enough, one of the recipients of this invite was a boy. Here is the explanatory email the Pleiades sent out as an apology:

Dear All,

Yesterday you received an e-mail from paperless post from Pleiades Punch. There was a glitch in the system and this e-mail was sent out by mistake. It sent an invite from last year’s first event at random. We would like to apologize for any confusion caused and reassure you that this problem should not happen again.

Best,
Pleiades Society

Actually, this one is $24.80.

To which a “disappointed and deceived” young “lady” responded:

“Gosh-DAMNIT! What kinds of BS is this?!

That little apology just won’t do it, missy.

Kindly send $24.57 to my room. I don’t have any dresses and so I had to go out and buy one for Wednesday’s event and they won’t take it back. Shlepping out to the Phoenix in my little black cocktail dress was humiliating, but shlepping back was painful. I felt like a cheap slut stood up for a date.

For the rest of you, as soon as I get my money back, and I are going to the store and I will be spending that $24.57 on a cold pack of beer and some hamburgers and we’re gonna have our own gosh-darn Pilates Punch Event. You are all invited – no high heels allowed.”

Yeahhhh.

Please excuse the "quality", if that word can be used, of this image (it was taken on a phone so old it still says Cingular on the outside).

The photo above, we assure you, is a large group of blindfolded final club punchees being led about outside of Leverett dining hall around the wee brainbreak hours. They were hands-to-hip adorable. Speculators have speculatively informed us that this rump-shakingly elitist conga line would be the would-be Phoenix lads.

While certainly rather kinky, we do wish we had a better photo to start the punch season with. If you have any Final Club Shenanijinks this punch season please email them to: thehvoicemail@gmail.com

Love,
The Voice

For your entertainment, a better image of young men walking in suits:

We know there’s a PJ party, but don’t be a…

SLUUUUUT!

Nope.

Yeah, something like that.

According to several undisclosed sources–

The Bee Club (for freshmen: it’s a female final club) is in trouble. The club emailed male members of final clubs today asking for donations. The reason? The Chabad offered The Fly Club for Gentlemen $6 million for the house on 45 Dunster Street, which they currently rent out to The Bee.

According to the sources, the sale is still up in the air. Some say the sale is highly unlikely, as Fly alumni have daughters in The Bee Club.

But to sum up the irony for you: some of the richest girls on campus are begging rich boyz for money. DISCUSS.

Addendum: Note witty title and appreciate.

EDIT: These are not confirmed facts. If you have any more information regarding the topic, you can email thehvoicemail@gmail.com. Check back for more updates.