Apparently The Social Network’s depiction of finals clubs continues to appeal, ‘cause they’re where all the B-list celebz be chillin’ lately.

How, uh, hot.

Community actor Donald Glover was also recently spotted at the Mount Auburn Street locale.

Does this mean finals clubs get to continue to think they’re important?

This Prefrosh Weekend (or Visitas, or whatever), The Voice takes you through the ten male prototypes you’ll encounter at Harvard.

1. The One Who’s a Virgin

You can’t swing a purse in Harvard Yard without hitting a virgin Harvard male. He comes in all shapes and sizes (pun fully intended). Even some very eligible-seeming bros belong here –they probably spent high school hitting the stacks instead of the sack– although they tend to migrate out of this zone really fast during their freshman year. He has the potential of becoming a great boyfriend, if you’re willing to put in the time and effort to get over the initial awkwardness. *Accidentally* hooking up with a virgin always makes for great Sunday brunch stories though, so there’s the silver lining.

2. The One Who Will Stay a Virgin

Another classic Harvard category. It’s astounding how a place so small can hold so many socially awkward and sexually frustrated young people. It’s very easy to spot this one. He seems awkward. He walks awkward. He is awkward. He probably also lives in Lamont and packs his stuff in a carry-on during Finals season. He might also have red hair. Bless his heart, though. He could invent a social networking site one day and all the arrogant bitches of Harvard who ignored him (you included) can cry themselves to sleep at night.

3. The One Who Would Be King

You know, the kid who harbored presidential ambitions when everyone else was dreaming about chocolate and cartoon characters and stuff. He is most likely a tall, well-dressed Government major from the south who frequents the Institute of Politics as often as the rest of us mortals do Berryline. You might be charmed by his composure and drive, but like anything else in his life, the ladies that he dates must all serve the Grand Plan. I’m Asian and foreign (Communist, even), so I never even tried. But if you want to, just google “Jackie Kennedy” for a good role model. Or Marilyn Monroe. It’s all a matter of preference.

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The HarvardHoochies Part 2: We asked some bros for their thoughts on these controversial Twitter lasses. Read our original interview with the girls here.

Meet the “Bro Panel”:

- Bret Voith, a senior resident of Lowell House and former co-captain of the varsity Water Polo team. The Hoochies have endearingly called him “sexual vanilla popsicle.” How fast will they devour him post-thesis/Lamont?

- Jeff Lee, a senior History of Art and Architecture concentrator in Kirkland House. He wants to “play water polo during the day and model at night for the rest of [his] life.” He promises to hold the key to activate the HH’s yellow fever.

- Water Sports Bro: Because we really needed another ball-hurling, speedos-wearing panelist.

- Hot Bro: Strong arms. Strong arms.

- Mysterious Bro: We don’t know any more about him than you do. We like the air of mystery though.

- Shirtless Bro: We have nothing on him except that he looks hot shirtless. His teammates agree. Bromance.

- Random Bro: He dropped by one day and left a random comment.

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Carrie Bradshaw and Samantha Jones might have taken the Big Apple by storm a decade ago, but this year, a new group of heels-wearing, BBM-ing, tweeting girls are set to put the “Sex” back in the City of Cambridge. Well, at least the part of Cambridge that houses Harvard’s eight all-male Final Clubs.

Self-described as “[Boston University] bitties, hooching and husband hunting at Harvard Final Clubs. We ward off RUHGs (random ugly Harvard girls)…frequently,” these seven girls, who call themselves the “HarvardHoochies,” spend their weekends party-hopping around Mt. Auburn street and aren’t afraid to let the whole Twitter universe know it. The girls are outrageous, hilarious and unapologetic about their mission statement – to find the preppiest, final-club-biest flavor of the night. Even Newsweek acknowledged their Twitter account as ” mak[ing] the entire scene sound like Jersey Shore in gabardine.”

(Yes that’s not a real picture of them. You gotta sniff them out, ‘hun. You know where to look! Xoxo)

The Voice sat down with the Hoochies on Friday, with sangria on their side and HUHDS fries on ours (yes, it was never evenly matched), and talked about their lives at Harvard, the “hoochies-tweeting” trend in other colleges, and, you guessed it, the Final Clubs.

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That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, we’re not talking about the 101 dishes HUHDS can make with harvests from Harvard’s own squash farms.

(Image from GoCrimson.com)

At the Murr Center, Harvard’s hosting the 2011 CSA Men’s National Team Championships this weekend, from February 25-27. If you have time and want a break from the hectic life on this side of the river, we strongly encourage you to walk across the Eliot Bridge and explore the land of those who, according to the result of a recent UC survey, have the best social lives on campus.

And it’s easy to see why. The camaraderie is palpable, and these boys seem to share a strong bond that, at points, borderlines on childishness  - one of the nicknames shouted was “Dick Man.”  Anyhow, it’s nice to know that there’s a team behind you, cheering your name at the top of their lungs even though you’re one point short of losing the game. Looking at their bro-bonding moments, we felt all these tingly emotions we didn’t even know we had!

Then, these varsity athletes get into final clubs and have a whole army of “biddies” to make sure they feel encouraged and entertained at all times. But seriously, was anyone even surprised by the “revelation” of the UC Social Life survey? Athletes are satisfied. Final club bros are satisfied. Students stayed in because of either too much work, or exhaustion from having done too much work. In other news, it snows and rains a lot in Cambridge. Neeeeext!

At any rate, the event this afternoon was pretty well attended, parents even sprinkled the benches in eager anticipation of their overachieving children’s appearance. Our No. 6-seed team put up a good fight against No. 3 Princeton, but in the end the Tigers won 8-1. Oh well, we gotta give them something sometimes. Sitting in the audience, this writer almost wished she could play a competitive sport. If only walking up and down Newbury Street counts.

What exactly is in that?

Noice tries to keep you up to date in terms of Harvard gossip — whether it’s fact or fiction. So we bring you The Grapevine, in which we relay all the juicy bits we hear…uh, through the grapevine.

This week, Noice hears that punch season is well under way for final clubs. Punch season entails a process of receiving fancy wax-sealed invitations, showing up to soirees to mix and mingle with current members, and then probably being rejected.

Don’t know what a final club is? It’s okay. Most of Harvard doesn’t either.