Those depressed about not going to another school to take English 111: “Critical Approaches to Harry Potter” or “The Simpsons and Society” may find some kind of silver screen compensation next academic year.

Recently announced at a panel with various sociology and African-American Studies professors, Harvard plans to offer a course on the HBO series “The Wire,” a show about slum life in Baltimore. William J. Wilson, a self-admitted follower of the show and who will teach “Social Structure and culture in the Study of Race and Urban Poverty” this spring, will assume teaching responsibilities for the new course, which is already stirring up excitement among student fans. Sonja Sohn, who plays Kima Greggs, was also present at the panel.

To which we say… when are we going to see “The Theory of Arrested Development” on the course selection tool?

Those of you that overachieved in your grades last year may have received one of two fancy cream-colored letters in your house mailboxes this past week, as Dean Evelynn Hammonds and the Registrar Office delivered notifications to this year’s John Harvard and Harvard College Scholars.  What does that even mean, you ask?  Well, the letter doesn’t really provide any clues, although a blurb hidden deep in the now online-only student handbook reveals that they are meant respectively for the top 5% and top 6-10% of each class.

So, now that you know what these mysterious designations mean, you’re probably going to want to know how it’s going to benefit you.  To find the answer, we went through one of the Harvard College Scholarship letters and translated the Harvard-ese into a more practical form: Read the rest of this entry »

Continuing Noice’s “Diary of A…” series. This is installment number two.

1:00 p.m. – Still have seven minutes before class starts. I show up on Harvard time because I can. Because I’m a sexy teacher. Because half the class is hott for teacher. Because I grade their papers and they undress me with their eyes.

1:07 p.m. – Yeah, that girl just swooned a little. Eye contact averted with her. Good class today. I’m feeling it. Let’s talk about sadomasochism shall we?

1:13 p.m. – Wow that girl just accidentally said “orgasm,” instead of “organism.” She has since gone to the bathroom. Can’t wait for her to come back.

1:17 p.m. – Oh, she came back. No need for any more blush today.

1:20 p.m. – Did someone seriously just ask me if I’ve ever experimented with this stuff? We’re reading “Venus of Furs,” this is not an episode of Maury. God, I look good today.

Read the rest of this entry »

As if Harvard doesn’t provide enough material for pop culture to crap on, the Gates incident over the summer will probably supply enough to meet satirical demand infinitely. The new NBC Office-inspired sitcom Parks and Recreation recently spoofed the arrest of the African American Studies professor, opting to portray an Asian perspective instead when Tom Haverford comes under suspicion for breaking into a van and is asked to “jimmy” his way out, to which he responds appropriately:

I’ll step out of your momma’s van.

So… when’s the beer summit episode going to air? Watch the comedic gold here.

This afternoon, the Harvard Book Store cut the ribbon on its newly-christened Espresso Book Machine, Paige M. Gutenborg. The name of the on-demand book printing contraption was sifted from over 500 contest entries, among them Tome Machine, Humphrey Bookart, and Gutenplenty.

Before the unveiling, speakers Professor Robert Darnton (Director of Harvard Libraries), Jason Epstein from The New York Review of Books, and Dane Neller of On Demand Books LLC gave a few remarks about the future of books, publishing, yadda yadda. Then, finally, everyone got to see what they came for: Paige giving birth to its (her?) first paperback.

Before an ooh-ing and aah-ing audience, Paige printed a copy of the 300-plus page Bay Psalm Book (chosen because it the first book printed in North America, specifically, Cambridge in 1640) in a matter of minutes, which was then bound and funneled out out of the machine, glossy, crisp, and warm, just like fresh-baked cookies emerging from an oven.

Then, the prolific Paige moved on to Einstein’s Relativity. Noice was in awe.

Noice thinks the only thing that would make the Espresso Book Machine even more perfect and ingenious would be, well, if it pumped out espresso alongside your reading material. Dane Neller said he’s working on that.

Quote of the day: “I hope when I cut this ribbon, the damn thing doesn’t explode.”

Students in the yard are accustomed to all type of noise. They grudgingly acknowledge (and sometimes attend) the numerous a Capella performances, impromptu jam sessions, and other raucous events that happen at all hours of the day and night. However, students and tourists alike were surprised to hear the unmistakable sound of bagpipes this afternoon coming from Memorial Church. The reason: a memorial service for Brendan A. Maher, an Emeritus professor of the Psychology of Personality. The result: many of Maher’s friends, colleagues, and family attended a touching memorial service which ended with a spectacular bagpipes display while nearby students locked themselves inside despite the beautiful weather to escape the noise.

Don’t be so crude! We’re Honoring Our Teachers.

What’s that you say? “Honor Our Teachers Profs” doesn’t make any sense? Stop trying to defy the logic and just play along. Here at Noice we don’t hate…we appreciate. And this week we really appreciate:

Enough to consider switching concentrations?

Professor Yukio Lippit
History of Art and Architecture

This prof, some may describe as an Asian Richard Gere, deserves some serious appreciation as a bright spot in Harvard’s faculty. This semester he’s teaching the Core Lit-Arts B class on Japanese Woodblock Prints (but you lucky History of Art and Architecture concentrators can look forward to HAA 188j or 287k in the Spring). When he’s not adding his face and wonderfully soothing lecture voice to an already attractive set of course materials, he’s busy researching and writing some stellar books. We like Yukio ’cause he’s notoriously accessible to his students and sincerely devoted to what he teaches. We also dig that he’s an alum too (class of ‘93!). Mad props, sir, mad props.

This song pretty much says it all. We love our profs!

Image courtesy of The East Asian Art History Program website

Because brevity can make you feel so tingly inside.

The first in our anthology of Harvard Haiku. It’s the perfect weekend break from the long-winded BS you’ve been making your entire academic life.

Powerful grey locks
And such sharp business attire
Drew Faust is a fox.

One who knows little–
Like that loud guy in section–
Should really shut up.

Waking up, still drunk.
Linkmate is in my PJs…
Blech, did we hook up?