Hi all! You may know me as a prolific commenter on HarvardFML; this is my new and improved means of doling out relationship advice! Got a question you want to ask, or a situation you want thoughts and advice on? Email me at somedude.harvardfml@gmail.com, and watch this space for my answer! Gestapo writes,

I just finished my sophomore year, and as soon as I got home for the summer I started hanging out with this girl I knew from high school. We’ve hit it off and are getting pretty serious pretty quickly. But, I know I’ve got to come back to Harvard at the end of the summer, and she’s got to go back to her school – and we’ll be hundreds of miles apart. I’ve never done long distance before, and I’m afraid it won’t work. What should I do?

Wow, that was fast! You’ve only been gone a few weeks!

Without knowing more about your situation, I think you’re best off having an awesome summer and then cutting the cord. A long-distance relationship will drain you and keep you from living life at Harvard to its potential – and the same goes for her at her school. The chances that the relationship will survive the 2+ further years that you’ll be separated are so small as to be hardly worth the huge cost. One of my very first posts was on long distance relationships of this type – take a read.

But don’t get bummed out. You and your ladyfriend can still have a fantastic summer. It’s a blessing, in a way: “expiration dating” like this allows you the freedom to get as emotionally involved as you want to, safe in the knowledge that there’s a built-in deadline and an amicable breakup at the end. And guess what? If you’re both single after graduation and end up in the same city, you’re in the best possible position to get back together, so expiration dating does not preclude future possibilities. Read the rest of this entry »