Mark Zuckerberg, Harvard drop-out and founder of Facebook, is returning to campus on Monday to recruit for his multi-billion dollar social networking behemoth (source: The Boston Globe). That noise you hear is all the Computer Science geeks on campus erupting in tears of joy.

In eager anticipation of what will surely turn out to be a scene of Zucks getting mobbed, Noice has compiled a list of things you can do in order to impress him within your allocated time of a minute-and-a-half. Be sure to thank us when you’re employed!

1. Come decked out in blue. Blue shirts, blue boxers, blue shorts, blue beanies (it will be cold, like it is for ten months in a year), blue nails, what have you. Paint your face blue and scribble “Facebook” in white across your forehead. It’s only fitting that the t-shirt for Kirkland House, Zucks’ former residence, is blue. Steal one of those. Nothing says commitment like being a walking banner of Facebook.

2. Bring an Asian girl along as your (real or fake) girlfriend. Zucks’ engaged to one, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

3. Every time Zucks utters a complete sentence, scream “LIKE.” After five times, ask out loud: “IS THERE A LOVE BUTTON FOR THIS?”

4. Come with a 50,000-word thesis binder on “How to Improve Facebook,” introducing functions like keeping out the fatties and uglies. You don’t want Facebook to follow Myspace’s downward spiral into ghetto obscurity.

5. If you’re musically inclined, write a song about how Facebook is your life and sing it. Get one of your buddies to do beat-boxing. Everyone loves free entertainment.

6. Pitch your idea of Facemesh.com, a website modeled after Zucks’ own Facemash which allows users to rate the attractiveness of their peers. Facemesh, however, allows you to pick a mating partner based on how attractive your offspring is going to be – the product of meshing your own face with that of a rando from your school. We must always think about the future.

7. It’s never too early to get your own set of “I’m CEO… bitch” name cards.

8. Kidnap Zuck, or better yet, stalk him. Notoriety trumps anonymity.

9. Don’t, for the love of God, mention your recent initiation into the Phoenix S.K., your membership in AEPi, your father’s distant cousin’s nephew’s brother’s membership in the PC, or your involvement with anything Fratty McDouchie on this campus (re: The Social Network). But feel free to bring Zucks some pie. Remember: If all else fails, bribe.

10. It’s crucial to work out beforehand so you can push all the other overeager geeks out of your way and gain some face time with Zucks. If you notice the conversation going south, try to grab a handful of his curly hairs, or rip a piece of his shirt. Proceed to frame these and sell them on eBay. You’ll make a ton of money, and Zucks will appreciate your entrepreneurial spirit so much that he’ll be obliged to give you an intern position or something. Either way, it’s a win-win situation.

Though her reps are denying the rumors that Watson is leaving Brown because of bullying from fellow students, it has been nonetheless confirmed that the Harry Potter star has ended her tenure as a Brown student and is transferring elsewhere.

Where? We don’t know that yet.

In a statement released on her website, Watson writes,

“As you know, I love Brown and I love studying pretty much more than anything but recently I’ve had so much to juggle that being a student and fulfilling my other commitments has become a little impossible. I’ve decided to take a bit of time off to completely finish my work on Harry Potter… I will still be working towards my degree… it’s just going to take me a semester or two longer than I thought.”

We can definitely empathize with the work overload thing, and we aren’t movie stars! We wonder if she’ll be wearing Crimson any time soon.

Oh hayyyy

You may think that The Voice has a thing for Emma Watson, but damn. Her brother is way hotter! Emma’s 17-year-old brother Alex debuted as a model alongside her for the Burberry Spring/Summer ad campaign.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QNKt7JKGIU

Emma, we love you!

Note from the Editor: There seems to be much ado about nothing over this photo and liveblog. Understand that these live tweets were made to be intentionally outrageous and overblown. As for the photo, it was taken on happenstance — one of our photographers happened to leave the game at the same time as Emma and snapped a quick photo. (September 27, 1:47AM)

[10/01/09] See additional Note from the Editor here.