Hi all! You may know me as a prolific commenter on HarvardFML; this is my new and improved means of doling out relationship advice! Got a question you want to ask, or a situation you want thoughts and advice on? Email me at somedude.harvardfml@gmail.com, and watch this space for my answer! Today, a Valentine’s Day Special, featuring advice for the single and advice for the taken!

The Oatmeal's Valentine's Day Comic - click above to read the whole thing.

I don’t know what to get my boyfriend/girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. Help!

It’s perfectly okay to stick to the classics – if you’re shopping for a girl, flowers, chocolates, or jewelry are all highly acceptable. Just about anything from Lush works. And remember: you live so close to Burdick, it would be a crime to buy her Godiva. Don’t be afraid to be a little spicy, either (for instance: I’m getting my girlfriend a Snuggie and a copy of the book The Snuggie Sutra). Just a Hallmark card is a cop-out; but just a nice handwritten card is lovely. A nice dinner out works perfectly for both sexes (if you go to Upstairs on the Square on Valentine’s Day you might see me there), but reserve ASAP since it’s a popular night to eat out. Gifts for guys are trickier, because guys typically don’t get into Valentine’s Day as much; when in doubt, just a card is fine. Something token but masculine would work well: for instance, if he’s a snappy dresser and has shirts with French cuffs, get him a pair of cufflinks. Guys often like practical gifts, but a pantygram is cute, too. Read the rest of this entry »

Coming to you from the CNN: always at the forefront of international reportage.

I’m just kidding. Follow the link for an interesting discussion on the modern “hookup culture” and its reliance on alcohol as a primer on college campuses.

The questions remain whether romance is dead, and casual sex on college campuses are getting out of hand. Voice your opinions in the comment section!

Choice quotes:

Dr. Drew: “Dating is something that Grandpa did.”

“[One of the options for college kids is to be] friends with benefits, which looks great on paper. But so did Communism.”

“The thing about college hookups is it’s always intoxicated. You’ve gotta be loaded because it’s such a cool thing.”

In response to the question of why alcohol had to go hand in hand with hooking up,

The Jock: “[Alcohol] gives you courage.” (Quite frankly, he doesn’t seem like he needed any.)

Pro-Hookup Gal: “[Alcohol] helps me say yes.”

The Verdict: Nothing really new here, but the short video is worth a viewing or two. Because what else are you going to do these days? The coffee machine in the office pantry is still in perfect working condition.

Dr. Drew, airing weeknights on HLN at 9pm ET/PT.

Send tips to The Harvard Voice at thehvoicemail@gmail.com

It seems that the interwebs have become inundated with matchmaking sites lately. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, here’s another one. The newest site, nChooseTwo allows members to not only list their own crushes (up to 10 at once!), but to suggest matches between your friends and their crushes (or people who you think they would look oh-so-adorable with). The site is open to all students of Harvard and MIT (expanding our opportunities, no?); just register with your student email address. There is no list of names and there are no awkward photos – just the potential to catalyze matches you’ve been mulling over in your head but didn’t know how to initiate.

nChooseTwo

According to the site, “Privacy and security are our top priorities – no information about romantic intent is revealed unless the attraction is mutual, and we are constantly considering user feedback to make our site more useful and more secure.” It’s a win-win situation. No embarrassment if the match is not accepted. Here’s a sample matchmaking scenario from the site:

For example,

say Eve suggests a match between Adam and Beth. Eve shows up as an anonymous matchmaker to Adam and Beth.

If Adam clicks ‘Accept’ and Beth does not, Beth and Eve never find out that Adam clicked ‘Accept’. And vice-versa.

Instead, if Adam and Eve both click Accept, then Eve’s identity is revealed to them. Adam, Beth, and Eve are notified that this match is succesful, and good times are had by all.

Patty's not here, so we'll just have to fend for ourselves.

No harm, no foul. It’s almost time for Valentine’s Day, everyone, so let’s get to matching up our friends and even ourselves! Harvard has the potential for romance. It just needs an anonymous kick-start.

UPDATE: nChooseTwo has extended its services to the BU community!

As it turns out, using technology to enhance the dating scene at Harvard isn’t just a phase, it’s a lifestyle. After ISawYouHarvard (which debatably creeps your prospective dates out more than encourages them), Harvard Lunch, and various matchmaking efforts by HoCo and yours truly - The Voice, CS50 just rolled out CrimsonSpark, a quasi-”dating” website, as its latest creation.

Noice would like to think of CrimsonSpark as a hybrid of its precedents: less public than ISawYouHarvard, less creepy than normal online dating sites, and less random and seasonal than online matchmaking services. Read the amusing email below, which was sent out tonight over the Eliot House’s list from its creator, for more details.

————————————————

Dear Eliot,

Time to breathe new life into the Harvard dating scene. Not that we don’t find the dance-floor-makeout culture on campus to be charming, but maybe a change is in order. CrimsonSpark is a dating website, but not a “dating” website. That is, we aren’t matching you with a stranger based on some compatibility test or extensive profile. Because let’s face it- that’s a little creepy.

CrimsonSpark works on the basis that there is some one you know at Harvard and would like to know better. Maybe it’s a guy in section, a girl you eat lunch with or just some cute sophomore who you always say hi to. That’s where CrimsonSpark comes in.

How it works:

1. Register.

2. Start “sparking.”

“Sparking” entails searching for your prospective date, filling out a short checklist of date options you’d be willing to go on with this person, and then clicking submit. It’s that easy.

If there is a match (both parties spark each other), one or both of you will receive an email with the other one’s checklist, so you can get a sense of what that person is game for. All that’s left from here is the date itself. Of course, we don’t ask the other person out for you–the ball’s in your court.

We would love it if you could sign up and check out the beta version of the site that is up now at www.crimsonspark.com. Have fun with it, and get your spark on.

———————————————————————–

Sounds worth a try? Spark away!

Is IvyGate/Yale/Gawker/etc. going to make fun of us for yet another online attempt to savage our non-existent dating scene? Probably. But would you rather go through unorthodox ways to have dates or stay sexually frustrated? Exactly our point.

It's a love story, baby, just say yes?

Thanks to the Harvard Computer Society, every Valentine’s Day for the past decade and a half has featured Datamatch, a matchmaking service that will scientifically match you with the Harvardian of your dreams:

Datamatch uses painstakingly developed artificial intelligence computer algorithms and well-researched psychological profiles derived from years of aggregate data on the Harvard dating scene to find the perfect romantic match for you. Or, maybe, it’s done randomly.

We’re not going to tell you.

Either way, if you complete our questionnaire, our computer will generate a list of ten people, any of whom would be your perfect soulmate. Someone you’ll want to marry and have twenty children with. Someone to share that dream within a dream, your True Love. Or, at least, someone you’ll want to take out for a triple decaf espresso. Or something.

So what does Datamatch consider to be the most important indicators for future compatibility? Read the rest of this entry »

This chart accurately depicts the tough decisions faced by Harvard girls and boys every day. Happy Monday.

A new series in which you didn’t ask for advice, but you’re getting it anyway.

Bitchgrams Presents: (un)FYL

Lately, moderating FML has started to seem like a full time job… working as a middle school guidance counselor, that is. One of the most common posts Harvard FML receives can be summed-up as: “SWEET JESUS SOMEONE DATE ME!” No need to worry, Bitchgrams is here to help.

Some highlights of Harvard’s lonely state:

Cougar, rawr.

I know more about radiocarbon dating than I do about the fun kind. FML

The cute girl I like doesn’t know I exist. I’m in a freshman seminar with her. FML

“I want your love. I don’t wanna be friends.” FML

My life is turning into Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” video but without the paper unfolding at the end. FML

I’m a freshman and I’m looking for a real relationship. FML

I think I may need to go visit another school to find guys to date. FML

My divorced mother has been on more dates than I have this year. She’s 56. FML

We draw the line at the divorced mother. Notice the trend?

Solution: Ask them out already.

Boys and girls, meet… boys and girls. Although asking a person out on a real live date is perhaps foreign to our generation, this technique has, in fact, worked for all the rest of history. Judging from FML there are a huge number of students looking for something more than a night in the Delphic basement. So get off FML and stop praying for speed dating… Seriously, right now. Ask him/her out for coffee, dinner, a night of drinking and poor decisions, text, call, awkwardly Facebook message. Point is, just do it and give The Voice less to worry about.

xoxo,

Bitchgrams