Thanks to major corporate shoe conglomerates, intellectual masturbation at the nation’s top schools just got even easier.

Later this January, the shoe brand New Balance launches a new “Ivy League” collection of its H710 styles, with sneaker options for each of Hahvahd, Princeton, Columbia, Dartmouth, the University of Pennsylvania, and Brown. Notice anything missing from that list? Oh yeah, Yale and Cornell – obvs not elite enough to roll with us real Ivy Leaguers.

So, in case any of us forgets for even a second how Uniquely Smart And Special we are to attend The Undisputed Best University Among the Undisputed Larger Collection of Best Universities in the World, we need only look at our footwear.

GUYS CHECK OUT MY SHOES I GO TO HARVARD

Wright goes up over two Big Green Defenders for the score

While you were at home catching up on sleep and watching TV, the basketball team was back at school, kicking off Ivy League basketball by defeating Dartmouth in a blowout, 76-47. The team’s star, Jeremy Lin, finished the game with 11 points and six steals, one of which resulted in a highlight-worthy breakaway dunk.  The true star of this game, however, was Keith Wright, who finished with 22 points, three blocks, and six rebounds.  Freshman Kyle Casey was impressive, off the bench, with four blocks and an alley-oop on a pass from guard Oliver McNally. Read the rest of this entry »