Got a relationship question you want to ask, or a situation you want thoughts and advice on? Email me at somedude.harvardfml@gmail.com, and watch this space for my answer! T.B. asks,

I’m a straight senior guy. In your post-college dating post a couple weeks ago, you suggested post-college activities such as dance classes, community theater, etc. Now, nothing of that sort really grabs me and I totally can’t stomach the thought of doing them just to gain more exposure to girls. I will be too career-focused to actively pursue new girls after I graduate. There is a super hot girl I’m interested in in one of my classes. Any strategies for generating fast results before this semester ends?

Worrying about “fast results” is a trap that will probably undercut you – don’t rush. If you’re worried about timing, just avoid spinning your wheels. I wrote a post a while back about first dates; I think all of my suggestions in that would apply to you well and keep you from unnecessarily stalling. And here are some other relevant posts: dating a senior and everyone has time. If what you want is a relationship that will last beyond graduation, work on building a strong emotional bond: if she feels very strongly about you, she’ll want to either follow you after graduation or encourage you to follow her. With a bit of luck, it’s quite possible to build a relationship to that point in only a matter of months.

While luck plays a role in creating a strong relationship in the first place, keeping it going will always take effort, and no amount of luck will make up for it. If you’re going to be exclusively laser-focused on your career, or won’t compromise your preferred activities (e.g., going to an art gallery if your girlfriend wants you to take her), no amount of good planning at the onset is going to help you in the long term, particularly to hold the attention of the caliber of woman you’re looking for. It requires effort – not just the effort of gestures but the effort of changing yourself for someone else. Read the rest of this entry »

Got a relationship question you want to ask, or a situation you want thoughts and advice on? Email me at somedude.harvardfml@gmail.com, and watch this space for my answer! T.B. asks,

I’m a male graduating senior, girlfriendless, and freaking out that after Harvard, the dating pool is gonna shrink faster than a water balloon thrown at a bed of nails. Now, the clever bit: I am only really interested in Harvard girls — and maybe actresses but that’s another story — picky and vain, but it’s who I am. I’m running out of time and all the hot girls have boyfriends! Can you give me hope?

I can indeed, T.B.

First, you needn’t worry too much: there is indeed an after-college dating world, and it is awesome. It seems scary because there won’t be so many single women your age all living within the same square mile you do, but it’s really not any harder to meet them.

Another thing playing in your favor: as men continue to mature emotionally through their 20s and beyond, they tend to become more desirable – this is because personality tends to affect women’s attraction to men more than vice versa. Since you’re so particular about your tastes in women, that will help you as you get older.

You’re right in your observation that the most desirable girls tend to have boyfriends, but clearly not all of them do, although those that are single tend not to stay single long. But as Randy Munroe helpfully articulated, you have more time — a lot more time — than you think. Read the rest of this entry »

Noice presents another installment of a Guide to the Weekend. Not too many ragefests this weekend but HOLY CRAP so many other things to do! Noice’s picks of the weekend? AAA’s “Absolut AAA” party (an ice bar and ice luge? awesome.) and the Battle of the Bands at the Queen’s Head Pub. Cheers!

FRIDAY

Bollywood Karaoke Night
Where: Straus Common Room
When: 8pm-10pm

MARAT/SADE
Where: Loeb Experimental Theater, 64 Brattle Street
When: 7:30pm

Brattle Fall Concert
Where: Paine Hall, Music Building
When: 8pm-9pm

Where the Wild Things Jam
Harvard Glee Club Lite featuring Radcliffe Choral Society ‘Cliffe Notes & HRCM Underground
Where: Lowell Lecture Hall
When: 8pm-10pm

MOMENTUM
When: 8pm
Where: Loeb Mainstage (American Repertory Theater)

ABSOLUT AAA
Where: Currier Treehouse
When: 10pm-2am

Read on for more events…

Follow these tips for '80s flair and you can be a boy toy too. Minus the making out with Britney thing.

Hand it to Leverett to make gyrating in a throng of sweaty freshmen a serious, sartorial affair. Advertised as one of the biggest Lev events of the year, HoCo co-chair Isaac Martinez ’10 advises people to dress up for its annual ’80s Dance and “expect a lot more enthusiasm.” Those looking to make a noice neon impression this weekend should take note of the following fashion pointers that’ll even make Madonna in her “Like a Virgin”-and-pointy-breasts era salivate.

Sweatbands. Remember all those Richard Simmons workout videos from two decades ago? It was tacky, it was tasteless, and it serves as the perfect example of how your outfit should center around your hair accessory on Saturday night, not to mention that it should prove useful for wiping off the sweat you will rub off from the guy in the pink tights, leading us to…
Bright spandex. And by bright, we mean fucking radioactive rainbow. Bolder is better. We don’t know if we can find anymore alliterative phrases to drive this point deeper into the ground. Oh, wait–glaring garishness.
Hair that’s been battered and bullied. Can’t go wrong with teasing the crap out of your hair. Unless, of course, you’re Carrot-Top, in which case, touché–you’ve killed two birds with one stone.
Big glasses. Hey, you’re at Harvard; shouldn’t be too hard to find a pair lying around.
Consider a celebrity costume. Michael Jackson, pre-child molestation allegations. Madonna, pre-pre-divorce. Cyndi Lauper, pre…. well, in general. Go all out, and you might just find the Harry to your Sally on the dance floor.
Anything from American Apparel. Extra brownie points to whoever dons only the unitard.
Refer to the hipster sitting right next to you in lecture. Enough said.

Also, props goes out to Lev HoCo for a music video remake of the ’80s hit Jessie’s Girl, complete with procreating bunny. See the video and event details after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’re looking for the artsy equivalent of Five Dollar Footlongs (that is, if Subway were cuisine and not fast food), let me introduce a new and exciting concept into your money-grubbing yet cosmopolitan hearts: student rush tickets.  Unlike Broadway tickets in Manhattan, most venues in Boston have a fair number of empty seats, especially on weeknights, and they’ll be more than happy to give you a nice, juicy discount as long as you appear at their box office one or two hours before the show and show them your Harvard ID. Read the rest of this entry »