Self-promotion at Harvard seems to have reached new heights. Recently, our fellow students have decided to show off their Crimson fever through, uh, bodily exhibition? Please, do be wary of clicking on any of the links in this article, because this stuff is seriously NSFW.
Not what they mean by "Crimson ass." (Photo credit: justanimal.org.)
In the past two days, this website and this one have been created, to give Harvard girls the chance to show off their lady bits in support of fair Crimson. These websites seem to be inspired by a page launched two months ago, where men get to show off their goods – hard only, of course.
Presumably to keep things less gender-segregated, this tumblr was created yesterday. Note the clever slogan that the admin posted at the bottom of the page.
Frankly, I’m intrigued by the motivation behind all of this. Are we all that starved for sexual attention that posting X-rated pics to an anonymous tumblr is the only way to get it? Has reading period driven us all mad already? Or are we, as stereotypical Harvard students, just aching to show the rest of the world how perfectly perky our boobs are, and to hell with it?
The Voice jury is out on this one, but at least maybe for some of you, these websites have brightened the darkness of reading period just a wee bit.
The notoriously snarky website Gawker caught wind of a Crimson editorial on Harvard students using Facebook in the classroom, or what most of us would simply call procrastinating. The article, however, takes this intuitive answer in an entirely different direction. Maureen O’Connor for Gawker introduces the piece with: “Elite college newspaper The Harvard Crimson has noticed a trend.”
Turns out in the Crimson the answer to why students use Facebook in lectures, or basically all the time, is not that everyone likes it/is stalking everyone else, but rather that we are a hoard of “Return On Time Investment” super-students. Hemi H. Gandhi for the Crimson writes, “During class, students will give their attention to whatever they think will give them the most utility in each moment. Past generations of students must also have wanted to maximize their ROTI during class. But technological innovation has provided today’s students with more options to do so in real time, via their smartphones and laptops.” Gawker deftly responds with this long reason of why we use Facebook with “According to my Harvard-to-English dictionary, the [former] translates roughly to: “Cuz we feel like it.”
When Gandhi continues on this line of reasoning, arguing for more innovative teaching practices to keep students’ attention, Gawker inserts “Also, Zuckerberg.” We’re inclined to agree with Gawker on this one–people, not just Harvard students, use Facebook to procrastinate. Sure, there are tons of incredible internet resources, but Facebook is not exactly one of them for maximizing critical thinking. Facebook usage in class doesn’t have to do with ROTI or seeing how much we can multi-task. It’s making sure that one guy/girl that you dated in high school is not happier than you.
While some basked in the sun on the beach of some tropical paradise or lounged on the couch in front of Jersey Shore reruns, spring sport athletes were getting off to the start of their seasons and getting important preseason and out-of conference games under their belt. Many had the luxury of competing in warm arenas such as California, Georgia, and Texas, and were able to get a little taste of the weather they wished they could compete in year-round. In addition, some winter sport athletes kept their seasons going with trips to NCAA tournaments, and many gathered honors at these events.
After a heartbreaking loss to Princeton for sole possession of the Ivy League Championship, Harvard men’s basketball sought to continue their season in the NIT tournament on March 15th, but fell to Oklahoma State in the first round. Losing 54-71, it was no close contest, but the men’s team did finish with league recognition of Keith Wright, Kyle Casey, and Christian Webster.
Harvard wrestling had two members go on the the NCAA Championships at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, PA March 17-19th. Steven Keith wrangled out one win in the 125 pound weight class before his series was cut-short. Keith finishes his sophomore campaign with a 23-17 overall record and a 1-2 mark at his second NCAA Championships. While Keith’s run for All-America honors ended before arriving at his goal, Walter Peppelman managed a seventh place match and won All-America honors as Harvard’s 25th All-American wrestler–the 17th in the last 7 years. Another impressive point to add to Peppelman’s accomplishments from the tournament is that he was the only wrestler in the tournament that managed to turn No. 1 seed of Boise State, Adam Hall, for backpoints twice in a single match.
To all you freshmen still cursing the Housing Gods for last week’s placement into – let’s be real here – anywhere that requires a UC Shuttleboy App to get to, a silver lining may come from an unexpected source.
Tyra Banks – former supermodel, current America’s Next Top Model host, and Harvard Business School Executive Education Program student – told Jimmy Fallon on his late-night show that despite having been initially “freaked out” when she learned that dormitory residence was mandatory for enrollment in her program, she now relishes living in her single-in-a-suite, describing the experience as “like summer camp.”
Her other thoughts on the HBS curriculum, a part-time, multi-year course series for executives seeking greater academic training, coming with a price tag of $31,000? As Banks pithily – and oh-so-deliciously – opined toMTV News, Harvard life is “fabulous and fierce.”
In other words, freshmen, suck it up. If Tyra can live happily here, so can you.
Guyssss, she's one of ussss. (Photo credit: Yes, this picture is actually from cocoperez.com)
“So it may seem oh-so-douchetool-y and pretentious now that I’m wearing a Harvard t-shirt, but really, in thirteen or so years, after my overbearing helicopter parents have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition for the private schools that I was put on the waitlist for the moment my mom first missed her period, and after having been individually tutored for the SATs since the seventh grade to achieve my awe-inspiring 2300+ score, and after my personal statement admissions essay has been “revised” extensively by my college admissions counselors (y’know, the one they have at school and the one we hired on our own), we all know that I’ll actually be going to Harvard and my mom will be telling all of her country club friends what a G6-level genius-prodigy her baby really is.”
but yeah, this is cool. I’ll end it here to let you guys figure this one out for yourselves.
Also, for a little history: Check out this video from Housing Day way back in ’04*. Channel 7 hilariously reported that students outside of Annenberg for Housing Day lunch were protesting the war. Failz and lulz aplenty:
*We previously had it listed as from ’06, but apparently that’s just the date the video was posted on youtube.
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