Hi all! You may know me as a prolific commenter on HarvardFML; this is my new and improved means of doling out relationship advice! Got a question you want to ask, or a situation you want thoughts and advice on? Email me at somedude.harvardfml@gmail.com, and watch this space for my answer! DunsterDiver asks,

I’ve had a crush on this girl for a while, and I think I’m going to ask her out. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a first date. What should I plan?

Well, let’s think about the purpose of this first date. It is not to spend time with this girl. It is to get her to want to spend more time with you. If she says yes when you ask, presumably she’s at least a little interested; the first date needs to grow that interest, so you’ll get to spend more time with her in the future.

The pitch: As I’ve said in past posts, don’t ask, tell. “Let’s go get coffee” is better than “Would you like to get some coffee with me?” The former projects confidence and command; the latter is more supplicant and approval-seeking. It’s subtle, but since this is your first overtly romantic interaction, it’s worth setting a strong tone.

The location: The ideal first date is at a cafe or coffee house. It’s a casual afternoon break, not a sit-down meal. Any of the tons of little cafes near Harvard Square would work well. Tealuxe, L.A. Burdick, Crema Cafe, Cafe Pamplona, even Starbucks or Au Bon Pain, and there are many more besides.

Why a coffee date and not a sit-down meal? Read the rest of this entry »

Noice's alternative to soggy PB&Js at FlyBy.

Let’s face it–that line at Flyby down in freezing-cold Loker is never going to get shorter before 1pm, so it’s time to find new digs to refuel after Mankiw’s lecture on… whatever. (Not like anyone was listening.) Next time, venture into Café Gato Rojo, almost hidden between Grays and Matthews and nestled in a nook underneath Dudley House, for a quick cappuccino and for a nice respite from the lunchtime fury.

With a conscientious menu of fair-trade coffees, Gato Rojo also offers muffins, scones, and other baked goods made fresh daily. For those not inclined toward caffeine (to which we say “WTF”), a generous selection of bottled juices, loose teas, and other beverages are also available. Not only do they take Crimson Cash, but a small coffee only costs around a buck. Read more about the hipster invasion at Dudley’s premiere lunch spot after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »