U GUYZZZ I HOPE I GET INTO ELIOT HAUS!!!!!111 NOW SIGN MY SHIRT

We just heard about the most EPIC party. No, seriously. It’s a slumber party. For the freshmen. On the night of March 10th, 2010. Which just happens to coincide with the night of, uh, RIVER RUN.

After reading the description of the event on Facebook, we wanted to weep. Are these the kinds of lies we’re feeding the young ones these days? That the night before Housing Day, you’re supposed to wriggle into your cute jammies, bring a few pillows, and scrawl on cheap Hanes t-shirts with markers that are probably already too dry? That the night before Housing Day, you are to partake in this “much-cherished pre-Housing Day sleepover ritual”? (Note to freshmen: It’s not.)

Listen up, freshmen. The night before Housing Day (called “River Run” for you n00bz) is not meant for your ass to be wiping the gross, pillow-strewn floors of Annenberg whilst decorating cute shirts. The night before Housing Day is a night meant not to be remembered, but blurrily and hazily recalled the morning after (“I puked WHERE last night?!”). The night before Housing Day is a night in which a flask is highly advised. The night before Housing Day is a night  in which you are meant to go wild, party like you’re at a normal college like Tufts, and pay homage to the River Gods in any way possible.

[Disclaimer: The Voice does not endorse underage drinking or vandalism or fires.]

It looks like the College has decided to poop on Housing Day Eve as a whole. See the new policies after the jump. Class of 2013…looks like you’re SOL. Lucky number 13, eh?  Read the rest of this entry »

From 8AM today (Monday, March 1st) until 8AM on Wednesday, March 3, head over to this website for instructions, and http://www.my.harvard.edu (Campus Resources –> Freshman Housing Lottery) to enter the housing lottery – the single most dreaded/anticipated process of your first year at Harvard.

So, beloved freshmen: Let the waterworks, cat fights and antagonistic glares from across Annenberg begin!

Remember: Expect the best but prepare for the worst. NO significant others or significant others-to-be. And floating is not the end of the world! In fact, it might be a better option than joining a 7-person blocking group that you don’t know and ending up hating 6 of them.

Results will be out and delivered to your group leader at approximately 8:30AM on Thursday, March 11th. Don’t cry if the Cabot delegations knock on your door. At least, not yet, because they might be there for your roommate(s). Cross your fingers!

Blocking is like swimming. For some, it happens easily and naturally–a few strokes and you’re afloat. For others, not so much. Arms flail, water is gulped…and then you drown and are MISERABLE AND DIE.

To avoid the latter situation, we’ve constructed for  you a brief guide to blocking.

1. Do not block with your significant other or would-be significant other. This is probably the one rule you should always abide by. DO NOT BREAK IT, seriously. Blocking with someone you may have feelings for could make things awkward later. You might be omg-so-in-love right now, but what happens after a bitter breakup? Transferring to another house is a pain in the rear, so avoid blockcest at all costs!

2. Do not block with The Drama Queen. Because drama will, undoubtedly, ensue. Um, especially if you’re a girl.

3. Brace yourself for eleventh-hour blocking drama. People will pull out or leave you blocking-groupless at the last minute, so be mentally prepared. It might be a good idea even to have backup plans–get ready to beg and plead to be let in on your second choice blocking group.

4. You’ll find that linking doesn’t really matter. Yeah, you’ll be in adjacent houses but the reality of seeing your linkmates all the time like you’re still biffles is unlikely. Sorry.

5. Enjoy River Run the night before Housing Day. It’ll help soothe the pain once you’re Quadded the next morning. (Or you’ll be too hangover or still drunk to soak in the reality of what just happened.) To ensure this doesn’t happen, construct the most badass sacrificial boat for the River Gods…sans firecrackers, unless you want the Cambridge Police and Fire Departments on your asses (CLASS OF 2012 FTW!).