Being a freshman boy just got more awkward.

Excitement ensued when a “select” group of 2015 guys earned this exclusive invite. They donned their best jackets and ties, dreaming of final clubs and avoiding their typical weekend (getting laughed at by final club bouncers, wandering Mass Ave in a crowd of at least 15, and being busted by their proctor before even getting a buzz). Once again, the upperclassmen were the only ones having real fun – turns out the invites were a fake.

Thanks to the Lampoon for pulling this Wednesday night prank. Sorry boys – maybe next year! Regrets only indeed.

Continuing Noice’s “Diary of A…” series. This is installment number two.

1:00 p.m. – Still have seven minutes before class starts. I show up on Harvard time because I can. Because I’m a sexy teacher. Because half the class is hott for teacher. Because I grade their papers and they undress me with their eyes.

1:07 p.m. – Yeah, that girl just swooned a little. Eye contact averted with her. Good class today. I’m feeling it. Let’s talk about sadomasochism shall we?

1:13 p.m. – Wow that girl just accidentally said “orgasm,” instead of “organism.” She has since gone to the bathroom. Can’t wait for her to come back.

1:17 p.m. – Oh, she came back. No need for any more blush today.

1:20 p.m. – Did someone seriously just ask me if I’ve ever experimented with this stuff? We’re reading “Venus of Furs,” this is not an episode of Maury. God, I look good today.

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