Toofer: “You know, I went to school in Boston. Well, not in Boston, but nearby. No, not Tufts–”
Jenna: “Oh, shut up. It’s 14 degrees there.”
Toofer: “… Harvard.”

Yeah, it's really that cold here.

Conan just peaced, Toofs. The pressure’s all on you.

Miss you, Coco!

Ted Kaczynski before...

What is the “typical” Harvard alum? Smoking jacket, riding whip, and trophy wife on his arm. WASP extraordinaire. Money-grubbing power-hungry CEO. Hopeless academic. The list goes on as long as the line outside Heaven and Hell (that is before they shut it down).

But, in the spirit of Halloween, it’s important to be reminded that some graduates leave Harv to go on to lives spent not on filling their wallets or on aggrandizing their already-inflated egos, but rather on lengthening their rap sheet.

In which we discuss not-so-nice Harvard alums:

• Ted Kaczynski: Probably the most notorious of criminal crimson alums, Kaczynski unleashed terror and gained infamy by sending pipe bombs, segregating himself from humanity by living off-the-grid in Montana and writing his manifesto.
• Dr John White Webster: When George Parkman didn’t have the money he owed Webster, Webster killed him and hacked his body up in a laboratory at Harvard Medical. Police found portions of the body hidden all through the medical building, but some organs were never found.


Ted Kaczynski after.

• Sinedu Tadesse: This gruesome murder hits a little closer to home. On May 28, 1995, Sinedu Tadesse, after a week of planning and forethought, stabbed her roommate Trang Phuong Ho 45 times and hung herself in her Dunster bathroom. Her motives remain somewhat unclear, but fears of housing issues and a suit waged by Ho’s family lead some to believe that this murder led Harvard to change its housing system.
• Chas Lee:  Working with the Jimmy Fund which hosts An Evening with Champions, Chas Lee embezzled over $100,00 while he was still a junior at Harvard and managed to escape prosecution for two years, completing his degree in biology. Lee received a light sentence and remains an alumnus in good standing.

All information from Wikipedia. Photos from Wikimedia Commons and Getty Images

BLOATABLE NOTABLES

Most people probably know that Harvard has produced several U.S. presidents, including the Roosevelts and JFK. On the other hand, most people are probably unaware that some of Harvard’s alumni have risen to power in other spheres.

Late Pakistani President Benazir Bhutto,
Chief Justice Supreme Court John Roberts,
literary iconoclast Dr. Michael Crichton
consummate comic John Lithgow all graduated from Harvard.
(Note to self: Do not become a judge after HLS—you will turn Republican.)

Even fewer people know that Lady Gaga, before becoming a “Paparazzi” target, was admitted in 2004.

HISTORY SHMISTORY

Of course, as all of the tour guides will have you know, Harvard was the first institution of higher learning in the U.S.—then only a settlement—which explains, in part, why the university has such prestige. The next college? South Harmon Institute of Technology, only 370 years later.

SHOP TIL YOU ADD/DROP

Given most Harvard students’ penchant for political and ethical thought, it is no surprise that Moral Reasoning 22: Justice, taught by renowned professor Michael Sandel, is the most popular class. Thanks to the thrumming indie craft movement on campus, the second-largest class is Quilts and Quiltmaking.

WE’VE GOT SPIRIT? WAIT, WHAT?

You also probably aren’t familiar with any of the ten fight songs that inspire the Crimson on the gridiron. If Harvard’s talented musicians write one more fight song, they’ll have just enough to kill time in between more rallying numbers like “YMCA” and “In The Navy.” We didn’t pick ‘em, that’s for sure.

And perhaps the most surprising thing to most people is the amount of house pride displayed by many Harvard students. Tourists included, anyone who entered the Yard on Housing Day was serenaded by proud HoCo members from at least three houses. Most shockingly, the annual display proves that not everyone hates the Quad.

NOTE: Some shit here you definitely didn’t know because it’s actually not true. We won’t bother telling you which three “facts” they are because you should know better, c’mon now.

NOICE IRONIC RAP SKILLZ!

Presenting: A handful of good songs that happen to have a Harvard shout-out in them. Why? Because we love lists and we love us.

Tapes N Tapes – Insistor
Bob Dylan – Baby Let Me Follow You Down
Jay-Z - What More Can I say?
Pavement – Gangsters and Pranksters
The Lonely Island - Natalie’s Rap
Estelle – Magnificent
and more!

Check them all out after the jump!

Honorable Mentions:

Nina Simone – I Love to Love
Dropkick Murphys – Warrior’s Code

And even though they don’t explicitly mention Harvard, they did go here. Let’s face it, this could be your new anthem:
Chester French ft. Janelle Monae – Nerd Girl

That’s all, folks! Feel free to add some of your favorite Harvard-y songs to the comments!

photo credit NBC

All of that in consideration, the November Glamour issue made a small Harvard shout-out that we felt we absolutely must share. Kate Dillon fans rejoice, they’ve done a whole spread on plus size women and she’s in it!

the very definition of "noice".

So, in light of the supposed “dust up” over another celebrity, we’d like to highlight a full-grown actual Harvard alum. Kate Dillon is a name known to some and a face known by many. But how many people know that this absolutely gorgeous top model went to Harvard? She graduated with a masters from the Kennedy School of Government after being accepted in 2007. Though (obviously) brilliant and beautiful, it’s safe to her path to come into her own wasn’t easy. She battled with anorexia for years until finally dropping out of the fashion industry, later becoming the full-blossomed woman that anyone can admire.

But here’s where Noice might get a little sentimental. It’s no secret that Harvard and the Ivy Leagues in general have a population outside the “norm” for the rest of America. And we’re not just talking about being incredibly fortunate and capable. Having grown up in the south, this author can relate that what she sees in magazines and what she sees on campus isn’t exactly what she remembers from back home. To put it more bluntly, there can be some real pressure for the Harvard lass to be skinny and impeccably beautiful at all times. Amidst an environment of neuroticism, eating disorders, and that blasted calorie counter that HUDS keeps on their website, a curvy girl (no, actually anyone) who is perfectly normal in every aspect, can sometimes get a little down on themselves. While we’re all for keeping healthy and eating sustainably, we also  have to remember to *think* healthy and that whatever shape we choose to be in, whatever shape we’re meant to be, is already as beautiful as can be. </sentimentality>

Big ups to Glamour for The Kate Dillon shoot, if we have to be inundated by impossibly gorgeous women, we prefer them to be well-fed. Plus, if we can’t love ourselves how will we ever muster the guts for Primal Scream? Srsly.

A resource- Please, use it!:

ECHO (Eating Concerns Hotline and Outreach)
Quincy House
F-entry basement
drop-ins: Sunday-Wednesday, 8-11 p.m.
hotline: daily, 8 p.m.-8 a.m.
495-8200

images courtesy, Glamour, Mode, and Blogger.

Donating to Harvard could get you 1.) your name stamped on a building, 2.) called unethical by NYT's Randy Cohen.

NYT’s Randy Cohen thinks not. In fact, he thinks it’s downright morally reprehensible:

Do not donate to Harvard. To do so is to offer more pie to a portly fellow while the gaunt and hungry press their faces to the window (at some sort of metaphoric college cafeteria, anyway).

Noice would like to point out that to give to Harvard might, at this point, be to offer some piping hot breakfast pie to students who don’t have it. But anyways. Cohen’s evidence why Harvard isn’t worthy of your charity? Our endowment, while down 27 percent, still exceeds the GDP of Estonia. Our alumni are still money-mongers, with 40 percent of the class of 2008 going into banking. And the median base salary for the B-school’s class of 2009 is $115,000.

Under the current circumstances, the more honorable course is to write that check to a community college or a historically black college or a small Catholic college or other modest institution that genuinely and profoundly transforms the lives of its graduates.

Anyways, argue what side you will. The jewel of the piece is the hilarious comments that ensued:

Someone named Park called it a “very obnoxious, polemical article by someone who obviously has an anti-Harvard bias” and then went on to slap Cohen around some more:

Obviously, this writer is trying to draw a crowd to his article by name-dropping Harvard. Perhaps it is time to get over how you didn’t get in when you applied, eh?

Eek, that was perhaps a bit uncalled for. But for most of us, our reaction is probably this:

I give to Harvard. It’s called “tuition”. I give til it hurts.

Wise, wise words.

Yeah, it’s yesterdays headline, but it was too beautiful too pass up. Must’ve been a tough campaign!

2010 Senior Class Marshals are mostly male, humble, trustworthy, and confused

OCS and OIP…unite! And when our powers combine…

Harvard Film Archive to gain 800,000 more film stills, doesn’t know what to do with them all

So Harvard: Immediate gratification… in books

So Original: Yet another SAT prep company started by Harvard alumni

Photo courtesy of Phil Gillen