The fourth and penultimate installment of our series on “Famous Freshmen.”

4. Ansel Duff 

Giving his best killer look.

Ansel who, you might ask.

Well, we are kind of running out of freshmen celebrities by now, and he might not ring as many bells as the previous two did.  But in all fairness, Ansel Duff is definitely a guy to watch out for.

First of all, he’s got this band:

http://www.facebook.com/TheAnchors

…which he started with Alex and Ian Mothe during Christmas break of his junior year in high school. Within only a few months, they made quite a name for themselves in New Bedford, Massachusetts, drumming up support through various local gigs and band tours. The Anchors also garnered some name recognition for themselves through features in local newsletters.

In his senior year, Ansel decided to fly solo. He spent all summer recording two original songs: “Stay the Course” and “Colours Fade” (both of which have been launched on iTunes), and so began to establish a legit reputation as the “Ansel Duff.”

Get the picture? Good. You might want to know that the guy also happens to be tall and attractive, with a pair of large, sensitive-looking brown eyes that exude the sincere charms of an artist (definitely a feature that will come in handy to convince his fans that he means every word he sings). So ladies (and half of Harvard boys as well), if you don’t like his music, just plug your ears and let yourself get carried away by his irresistibly shy, melancholic smile.  It works, trust me.

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Hello there Harvard,

I’d like to introduce myself, the newest addition to the fabulous Voice team, here to deliver a regular column on the one topic that we are all so interested in, but that apparently none of us partake in: Sex! You already love Some Dude and his advice column on Love and Relationships, so I sure hope that you will enjoy my candid reflections on the more physical side of things between the sexes, from a female perspective.

First off, I can’t help but think that the statistics about Harvard students and the amount of sex we have is dead wrong, because it seems like I am constantly surrounded by it.  Did you know that sex and love-related articles are the most popular articles on the Noice blog?  So if you guys aren’t out there having ridiculous amounts of sex on our tiny twin-sized beds, then we clearly just have sex on our minds a lot.

Harvard oozes sex in every shape and form.  We see it in our choice of  social spaces.  We see it in our choice of classes (Literature and Sexuality is the fourth most popular class at Harvard). We overhear it in our dining halls during Sunday brunch.  Sex (in the stacks) is even embedded into the Harvard tradition as one of the three things you have to do before graduation. I don’t know why that is, but I’m here to fuel the already burning fire.

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This Prefrosh Weekend (or Visitas, or whatever), The Voice takes you through the ten male prototypes you’ll encounter at Harvard.

1. The One Who’s a Virgin

You can’t swing a purse in Harvard Yard without hitting a virgin Harvard male. He comes in all shapes and sizes (pun fully intended). Even some very eligible-seeming bros belong here –they probably spent high school hitting the stacks instead of the sack– although they tend to migrate out of this zone really fast during their freshman year. He has the potential of becoming a great boyfriend, if you’re willing to put in the time and effort to get over the initial awkwardness. *Accidentally* hooking up with a virgin always makes for great Sunday brunch stories though, so there’s the silver lining.

2. The One Who Will Stay a Virgin

Another classic Harvard category. It’s astounding how a place so small can hold so many socially awkward and sexually frustrated young people. It’s very easy to spot this one. He seems awkward. He walks awkward. He is awkward. He probably also lives in Lamont and packs his stuff in a carry-on during Finals season. He might also have red hair. Bless his heart, though. He could invent a social networking site one day and all the arrogant bitches of Harvard who ignored him (you included) can cry themselves to sleep at night.

3. The One Who Would Be King

You know, the kid who harbored presidential ambitions when everyone else was dreaming about chocolate and cartoon characters and stuff. He is most likely a tall, well-dressed Government major from the south who frequents the Institute of Politics as often as the rest of us mortals do Berryline. You might be charmed by his composure and drive, but like anything else in his life, the ladies that he dates must all serve the Grand Plan. I’m Asian and foreign (Communist, even), so I never even tried. But if you want to, just google “Jackie Kennedy” for a good role model. Or Marilyn Monroe. It’s all a matter of preference.

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The HarvardHoochies Part 2: We asked some bros for their thoughts on these controversial Twitter lasses. Read our original interview with the girls here.

Meet the “Bro Panel”:

- Bret Voith, a senior resident of Lowell House and former co-captain of the varsity Water Polo team. The Hoochies have endearingly called him “sexual vanilla popsicle.” How fast will they devour him post-thesis/Lamont?

- Jeff Lee, a senior History of Art and Architecture concentrator in Kirkland House. He wants to “play water polo during the day and model at night for the rest of [his] life.” He promises to hold the key to activate the HH’s yellow fever.

- Water Sports Bro: Because we really needed another ball-hurling, speedos-wearing panelist.

- Hot Bro: Strong arms. Strong arms.

- Mysterious Bro: We don’t know any more about him than you do. We like the air of mystery though.

- Shirtless Bro: We have nothing on him except that he looks hot shirtless. His teammates agree. Bromance.

- Random Bro: He dropped by one day and left a random comment.

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Carrie Bradshaw and Samantha Jones might have taken the Big Apple by storm a decade ago, but this year, a new group of heels-wearing, BBM-ing, tweeting girls are set to put the “Sex” back in the City of Cambridge. Well, at least the part of Cambridge that houses Harvard’s eight all-male Final Clubs.

Self-described as “[Boston University] bitties, hooching and husband hunting at Harvard Final Clubs. We ward off RUHGs (random ugly Harvard girls)…frequently,” these seven girls, who call themselves the “HarvardHoochies,” spend their weekends party-hopping around Mt. Auburn street and aren’t afraid to let the whole Twitter universe know it. The girls are outrageous, hilarious and unapologetic about their mission statement – to find the preppiest, final-club-biest flavor of the night. Even Newsweek acknowledged their Twitter account as ” mak[ing] the entire scene sound like Jersey Shore in gabardine.”

(Yes that’s not a real picture of them. You gotta sniff them out, ‘hun. You know where to look! Xoxo)

The Voice sat down with the Hoochies on Friday, with sangria on their side and HUHDS fries on ours (yes, it was never evenly matched), and talked about their lives at Harvard, the “hoochies-tweeting” trend in other colleges, and, you guessed it, the Final Clubs.

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FEATURETTE: Voice editor Alisha Ramos ’12 attended the aphrodASIA Speed Dating Event hosted by the CSA on Friday, October 30. These are her impressions of the event and the phenomenon of speed dating in a culture like Harvard.

Well hey. This is awkward.

Speed dating is the least romantic situation that exists. It is intimate in all the wrong ways. The bottles of San Pellegrino on the rose petal laden tables remain untouched by couples until the event is over. Like many of the heel-wearing, hair-gelled participants, the romantic fixtures and dim lighting can’t help but seem embarrassingly artificial. This is not a real date. The person across from you does not know you. You are sitting not in a fancy restaurant but in the empty, wooden expanse of Leverett Old Library. Yet you are given three minutes to rattle off everything you can about yourself without scaring the other person away. Soon, the questions become protocol rather than intrigue. “So what year are you?” a date asks me in unison with the guy next to him.

Speed dating requires endurance and agility. You must balance a calm demeanor while ignoring the fact that you are attempting to appear attractive to eighteen complete strangers. I have never been through a job interview, but I imagine this is what it would be like, but maybe eighteen times worse. What should be an enjoyable night of getting to know new people soon devolves into a frantic scurry to sell, sell, sell–yourself.

Also required is an amazing ability to focus. You are seated inches away from the couples next to you; the urge to eavesdrop on conversations (or non-conversations) is in constant battle with the willingness to listen to your own partner, however boring or intriguing. Before you can untangle the adjacent conversations from your own, the announcer harkens the end of another three minutes. Hands are shaken, and a new body sits across from yours. (Read more…)

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise must be feeling a bit neglected lately. With HarvardFML.com launching Harvard students to fame almost daily, students just don’t get excited anymore by the so-called celebrities frequenting our campus. Rather, our attention has been captured by the likes of red scarf Polish girl, Wigg A girl, or — most recently – K-pop Loving Turk.

The last person — Mr. Turk, let’s call him — is perhaps the most obscure of all. Sure, we know where Wigg A is, and what red scarves are, and hopefully where Poland is, but what’s all this about a K-pop loving Turk? Is K-pop a type of soda? Should we stock up, so that we can sip it conspicuously during Gov20 in the hopes that we’ll capture the attention of some tanned Turkish hottie?

Noice knows such questions are running through the minds of Harvard students everywhere, so we’re here to unravel a bit of the mystery surrounding Mr. Turk. Thus, Noice presents A Guide to K-pop. Because how else are you going to impress this famed personage without versing yourself in his interests?

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