It’s almost the end of the year, which means you should get yourself one of these coveted calendars, based on The Voice’s most popular article of the last academic year - “10 Guys You’ll Meet at Harvard.”

They have elicited various “Wows” and “Do these guys actually go to Harvard?” comments from onlookers at the Activities Fair earlier this year. Don’t miss out!

Specs: 11.0″ x 8.50″ on glossy calendar paper, printed by Vistaprint.

Price: $12. (Similar calendars sell for $16 on Vistaprint.)

Free shipping by campus mail for Harvard students. Non-Harvard buyers will be charged a flat shipping rate of $3.

Click below to order. Follow the jump for a sneak preview and acknowledgements. You know you want to Facebook-stalk our models ;)

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Mark Zuckerberg, Harvard drop-out and founder of Facebook, is returning to campus on Monday to recruit for his multi-billion dollar social networking behemoth (source: The Boston Globe). That noise you hear is all the Computer Science geeks on campus erupting in tears of joy.

In eager anticipation of what will surely turn out to be a scene of Zucks getting mobbed, Noice has compiled a list of things you can do in order to impress him within your allocated time of a minute-and-a-half. Be sure to thank us when you’re employed!

1. Come decked out in blue. Blue shirts, blue boxers, blue shorts, blue beanies (it will be cold, like it is for ten months in a year), blue nails, what have you. Paint your face blue and scribble “Facebook” in white across your forehead. It’s only fitting that the t-shirt for Kirkland House, Zucks’ former residence, is blue. Steal one of those. Nothing says commitment like being a walking banner of Facebook.

2. Bring an Asian girl along as your (real or fake) girlfriend. Zucks’ engaged to one, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

3. Every time Zucks utters a complete sentence, scream “LIKE.” After five times, ask out loud: “IS THERE A LOVE BUTTON FOR THIS?”

4. Come with a 50,000-word thesis binder on “How to Improve Facebook,” introducing functions like keeping out the fatties and uglies. You don’t want Facebook to follow Myspace’s downward spiral into ghetto obscurity.

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Inspired by Matthew Kaiser’s “Literature and Sexuality” lecture on the same topic. 

As someone with a fairly accurate gaydar (since I have a gay roommate, various Gay Best Friends sprinkled across the globe, and have frequently been described as “a gay man in a female body”, I don’t think this is a compliment), I feel obliged to help prevent fellow heterosexual girls from the tragic mistake of falling for, dating, marrying, or reproducing with a gay guy. I would, however, turn a blind eye to drunken exchanges of saliva with attractive members of the opposite but homosexually-oriented sex (did I just invent that term? Anyway…). Every girl has those moments.

THE QUIZ: Add one point if your boyfriend/crush has one of these characteristics. (BE HONEST!)

- He has more than two pairs of skinny jeans.

- He fits into your skinny jeans. (And you know this because he’s tried them on.)

- He notices when you wear the same outfit for two days in a row.

- He never wears the same outfit for two days in a row.

- He notices when you haven’t straightened your hair.

- He straightens his hair.

- He notices when one of his arm hairs is longer than the rest.

- He is genuinely and visibly distressed by said hair.

- You frequently catch him checking himself out and fixing his hair in the mirror, on the side windows of CVS, on the front screen of his Blackberry, or on the back of his iPhone.

- He uses Wet Wipes for the toilet seat in his bathroom.

- He uses terms like “totes whatever floats your boat,” “whatevs,” “ewwww,” “ughh.” Note the prolonged pronunciation of syllables. In fact, if he whines those words long enough that you start to notice time elapsing, add one more point.

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While some of you toil for major conglomerates at minimum wage and most others work the coffee machine for no wage at all, I’ve been devoting my summer evenings watching Roland Garros – one of the four major professional tennis tournaments of the year taking place in Paris, France. You can’t beat bright orange clay court and matching bright green towels glaring at you for five hours. And lots of athletes attired in even stranger combinations of colors. So read on for my Guide to the French Open 2011 - Men’s Singles (because one can only watch so much TV before being yelled at by one’s Tiger Mom).

The Trivalry

1. Rafael Nadal – The Pit Bull

- What he’s famous for:The 25-year old Spaniard is the defending champion and current world No. 1 tennis player. Nadal’s rise to the top was as meteoric as it was spectacular. He turned pro at 15, beat Federer, the then world No. 1, for the first time at 17, and never looked back. He’s won all four major tennis tournaments, a gold medal at the Summer Olympics, and at Roland Garros alone he’s been crowned five times. Watch Nadal roam the court like a pit bull on steroid, while his opponent breaks a bucket of sweat in exhaustion and exasperation. It’s fun.

- What he’s infamous for: the permanent wedgie, made very in-your-face by the constant close-up camera shots of his Capri pants which cannot be any tighter. It’s tempting to imagine that Nadal’s constant tugging of his pants behind his ass might be a tactic to distract the opponent. Nadal also has a particularly “flamboyant” dressing style. He’s almost always in sleeveless tops of super bright colors, such as orange, and then pair that with, say, green pants. You can practically see him from Mars. Or the nosebleed section of the stadium, which actually is helpful.

He’s so rich that he basically owns a Spanish soccer team, Mallorca. He’s an avid soccer fan and was one of only six non-staff people allowed into the locker room of Spain’s national soccer team after it won the World Cup in 2010. He’s also the new face of Armani underwear. (Hence the picture on the left.) I’ll give you a few moments to regroup. Methinks he should just ditch the hideously colored clothes and go the way nature intends it!

He might be going bald very soon though, so enjoy the pretty while it lasts.

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Ladies and gents, it’s that time of the year again. No, I’m not taking about finals period (when the only sleeping around you do is in Lamont, and the only thing that goes down is your GPA #butreally).

From May 6th to May 15th (next Sunday), all local Starbucks stores will hold their Frappuccino Happy (Two) Hour(s) from 3pm – 5pm. During this time, get your favorite blended drinks at half-price!

In addition, Starbucks is also bringing back two coconut-flavored drinks for the summer: The Mocha Coconut Frappuchino and the Coconut Creme Frappuchino. I don’t know what the difference is except for the varying levels of sugar and sugary syrup, but you feel free to explore!

Everybody, let’s get fat! As if that’s not the natural by-product of Reading/Finals Period already.