The Boston Globe is reporting that the casting call has gone out for a new reality show called…wait for it…”Massholes.” The casting call goes as follows:
“You come from all over – Gloucester, Worcester, South End, Charlestown, Chicopee and South Swansea. You share a love for muscle cahs, hair products and little necks on the frickin half shell. You don’t take [crap] from nobody – least of all each othah. You are the hottest girls and proudly buff guys from Massa -freakin-chusettes who believe in God, Family, The Red Sox and partying!!
You ready to live togethah, laugh togethah, drink togethah and love togethah?
You’ll pahty on the beaches of the Cape where Roast Beef Hoagies and cases of Narragansett Light are on every Celtics towel next to a bottle of baby oil and a can of hair spray! Are you down for one wicked cool summah, and be a part of the most wicked reality show evah!
Doron Ofir Casting is looking for blue collar, hard working, harder partying, tough talking, damn good looking Mass natives from all over the state …. Yea we’ll consider preps from Wellsley [sic] too if they got what it takes.
Get Ready for the the summer of your life on the show that will knock the sox off the Red Sox, blow canons from Lexington to Cornwall and make you wish you remembered where you pahked your frickin cah cause that clunker is in Jersey!”
Ok, so we’re just saying…don’t go on this Harvard people…just don’t. Snooki will never live that hot tub episode down. Or the Snooki punch. Definitely the Snooki punch.
FIRST OF ALL. ZOOLANDER 2. IT’S HAPPENING. I don’t know about you guys but when I heard this today I freaked out and immediately wanted to get a frap and go have a gas station oil fight. But to each their own.
Also, Canadians know how to celebrate a win. Too bad the Olympics might be punishing them for straight up busting out cigars and bubbly on the ice.
Speaking of the Olympics, a new London logo was just released and it’s REALLY GOOD. At least there are no subtle/strange undertones like the other one (it’s below the awesome one)…I mean, really look at it.
If anyone was near Mower A last night they would have heard my roommate and I yelling “SICK, OH MY GOD, SWEET, A DOUBLE MCTWIST!?” We didn’t really know what these terms were but she had a poster of him in her locker circa 2006 and I used to play Tony Hawk Pro Skater like it was my job. Well, it paid off for us because our yelling clearly led Shaun White to his second gold medal in a row in the Olympic half-pipes. Also, I would just like to point out that a) the faceplant that, that one guy had looked like it really hurt and b) why are snowboarders wearing jeans. Not bendy.
His hair so crazy. Anyway, America continues to do really well in Vancouver across the board. I asked my British friend downstairs how they were doing and he was unsure if they were even in it. Sorry motherland! Speaking of:
I feel the same way little one. The same way.
Hey, it is a party in the U.S.A. with all this gold. AMMIRIGHT?
Number one feeling right now: Demetri Martin is hilarious. But the dog Bruce on the show is even funnier. Watch this now if you want to laugh. Seriously. I’m just cracking up. It’s ridiculous. Best way possible of course.
On to other interesting things. LIKE THE MF’N SUPERBOWL. There are a million places holding things on campus–and they’re likely all in your events feed on Facebook therefore I am not going to say where they are. I will be watching it on my futon in my room and making everyone in my dorm wish they had earplugs/wonder if I’m injured. Equally loud people will be present, some will have accents, and one will not understand football. But that’s ok. Because the Saints are going to win. WHO DAT.
Speaking of football this kid (David Sills), who is THIRTEEN years old, is already signed to USC to play football (QB) in 2015. HE’S THAT GOOD. IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND?
i think, in all seriousness, people shouldn’t take themselves so seriously. this is the best time that we will have in our lives. really, the best. we’ll grow up, we’ll get jobs (hopefully, economy permitting), we’ll try to find ways to be happy, we’ll try to find people that make us happy–but right now the world is just sitting there, waiting for us to pick at it like one of those really awesome clementine oranges that are so fun to unwrap. so this is just my form of a PSA. if you’re stressed, freaked out about the future, tired of rejection, intimidated by comps–remember it’s life. we live it once. we don’t always get what we want, but if we dwell on that then there will just be more harvard fml’s to read. and yes, those are entertaining, but try not to stress yourselves out too much. go out this weekend, meet new people, do something you’ve always wanted to–we have so little time.
also, i’m still waiting for a skins party. so…someone work on that.
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