Today, one of my House tutors held his office hours not from behind his desk, but from behind the information table at Occupy Harvard.  You know what I have to say to that?

Rock on.

The Yard’s tent city has become the subject of such hot debate over the last few weeks, but for all the wrong reasons.  I’ve heard a lot of students complain about the “inconvenience” of having to show their IDs to get into the Yard, or of having to choose an open gate because their regular route of travel has been cut off. It seems that students have pushed more of their energies into finding alternate walking routes through the Yard than into thinking about why Occupy Harvard has been constructed in the first place.

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It’s almost the end of the year, which means you should get yourself one of these coveted calendars, based on The Voice’s most popular article of the last academic year - “10 Guys You’ll Meet at Harvard.”

They have elicited various “Wows” and “Do these guys actually go to Harvard?” comments from onlookers at the Activities Fair earlier this year. Don’t miss out!

Specs: 11.0″ x 8.50″ on glossy calendar paper, printed by Vistaprint.

Price: $12. (Similar calendars sell for $16 on Vistaprint.)

Free shipping by campus mail for Harvard students. Non-Harvard buyers will be charged a flat shipping rate of $3.

Click below to order. Follow the jump for a sneak preview and acknowledgements. You know you want to Facebook-stalk our models ;)

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Rockstar Status.

Source

According to this here Huffington Post article, Lady Gaga recently announced that she will be teaming up with the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, the California Endowment, and the Berkman Center for Internet & Society at Harvard University to create the Born This Way non-profit foundation.

Gaga and her mother will head the foundation, which she states will strive to “establish a standard of Bravery and Kindness, as well as a community worldwide that protects and nurtures others in the face of bullying and abandonment.” Kudos to Mother Monster for the inspiring message, and to the Huff Post author for turning Bravery and Kindness into proper nouns by capitalizing them!

Let’s give a round of applause to Lady Gaga for attacking bullying head-on, and for using her fame (monster) to spread the message of equality and compassion.

Mark Zuckerberg, Harvard drop-out and founder of Facebook, is returning to campus on Monday to recruit for his multi-billion dollar social networking behemoth (source: The Boston Globe). That noise you hear is all the Computer Science geeks on campus erupting in tears of joy.

In eager anticipation of what will surely turn out to be a scene of Zucks getting mobbed, Noice has compiled a list of things you can do in order to impress him within your allocated time of a minute-and-a-half. Be sure to thank us when you’re employed!

1. Come decked out in blue. Blue shirts, blue boxers, blue shorts, blue beanies (it will be cold, like it is for ten months in a year), blue nails, what have you. Paint your face blue and scribble “Facebook” in white across your forehead. It’s only fitting that the t-shirt for Kirkland House, Zucks’ former residence, is blue. Steal one of those. Nothing says commitment like being a walking banner of Facebook.

2. Bring an Asian girl along as your (real or fake) girlfriend. Zucks’ engaged to one, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

3. Every time Zucks utters a complete sentence, scream “LIKE.” After five times, ask out loud: “IS THERE A LOVE BUTTON FOR THIS?”

4. Come with a 50,000-word thesis binder on “How to Improve Facebook,” introducing functions like keeping out the fatties and uglies. You don’t want Facebook to follow Myspace’s downward spiral into ghetto obscurity.

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Inspired by Matthew Kaiser’s “Literature and Sexuality” lecture on the same topic. 

As someone with a fairly accurate gaydar (since I have a gay roommate, various Gay Best Friends sprinkled across the globe, and have frequently been described as “a gay man in a female body”, I don’t think this is a compliment), I feel obliged to help prevent fellow heterosexual girls from the tragic mistake of falling for, dating, marrying, or reproducing with a gay guy. I would, however, turn a blind eye to drunken exchanges of saliva with attractive members of the opposite but homosexually-oriented sex (did I just invent that term? Anyway…). Every girl has those moments.

THE QUIZ: Add one point if your boyfriend/crush has one of these characteristics. (BE HONEST!)

- He has more than two pairs of skinny jeans.

- He fits into your skinny jeans. (And you know this because he’s tried them on.)

- He notices when you wear the same outfit for two days in a row.

- He never wears the same outfit for two days in a row.

- He notices when you haven’t straightened your hair.

- He straightens his hair.

- He notices when one of his arm hairs is longer than the rest.

- He is genuinely and visibly distressed by said hair.

- You frequently catch him checking himself out and fixing his hair in the mirror, on the side windows of CVS, on the front screen of his Blackberry, or on the back of his iPhone.

- He uses Wet Wipes for the toilet seat in his bathroom.

- He uses terms like “totes whatever floats your boat,” “whatevs,” “ewwww,” “ughh.” Note the prolonged pronunciation of syllables. In fact, if he whines those words long enough that you start to notice time elapsing, add one more point.

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Harvard students just can’t hold it all the way to the bathroom.

Last year, someone took a big ol’ poo in Quincy (and then stuffed it in a dropbox) and what WHAT what, it’s happened again, but this time in the Quad. We received this message that was sent over Pfoho’s house mailing list, and oh how we cringed.

“I stepped out of my room in Wolbach this morning and was greeted by an awful smell. Then I noticed a giant pile of shit on the stairwell between the second and third floors. I don’t know who’s responsible for the act itself and I wouldn’t care if the mess could somehow clean itself up. But it can’t. And the custodians should not have to deal with it. If you know who might have done it (whether you were with them when they did or hosted one of the watering holes they passed through on what must have been a pretty crazy night) please get in touch with that person and tell them to come over to the Wolbach stairwell and clean up their mess. Restore my faith in humanity because right now I’m pretty pissed off.”

Party fouls happen, but that’s no excuse to take a dump on the stairs. Also, once is an accident and twice a coincidence. One more doodie incident will turn this whole situation into a big shitty pattern. Let’s not let it get that far, mmm?

STOP IT, KAY?

…phew.

According to this Daily Finance article, Harvard’s endowment rose 21.4% in the last fiscal year, to close at $32 billion dollars. In case you missed it, the endowment dropped to a meager $26 billion when the economy totally ate it. Harvard was shocked by its newfound poverty and responded by seizing upperclassman hot breakfast and totally ruining everyone’s mornings.

But not to fear. Harvard’s making bank once again, meaning that we should be seeing the perks and bennies in the near future, right?

Here’s a list of things that I think would be appropriate to spend all that cash on.

1. Hot breakfast for all (duh)
2. More shuttles
3. Friday and Saturday brain breaks
4. Cleaning the Science Center bathrooms
5. More reliable Wi-Fi
6. An online course pre-planning tool that doesn’t make me want to punch my computer
7. Free kittens for all students

Please, Harvard?