In the upcoming film “Get Him to the Greek” starring Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, and Rose Bryne (just to name a few), a Hollywood producer is forced to get a rock legend out to L.A. for a comeback show. The movie is produced by Judd Apatow, the man behind “40 Year Old Virgin” and “Knocked Up,” meaning the movie will be hilarious. Jonah Hill’s character is given the mission of escorting the uncooperative rock star (Brand) to L.A., while Brand is mostly focused on re-earning the love of Rose Byrne’s character. Ultimately though, Hill must get Brand to the infamous Greek Theater in L.A. and has to go through as many outrageous obstacles as you can imagine.

If you go here and vote you can not only get in on a free screening of the movie but get the CAST TO COME TO HARVARD! The Voice and Universal Pictures are spearheading this movement and we would love nothing more to have these amazingly talented actors and actresses in our midst. The screening will take place on 4/18/10, and with enough votes you can expect to have a bunch of super famous/awesome people walking around campus. So go on and vote people! This is bound to be the funniest movie of 2010 coming from Apatow–why not make sure they come here to show off?

…WITH A TWIST

If you have looked at the Harvard Housing Day website at all previously you will have noticed that it is the neutral crimson and white that comes with every Harvard website (for the most part). Tonight, however, we noticed at The Voice that there was something a little different…Namely that Leverett completely & successfully hacked the site and revamped it.

At the bottom you will notice the following:

“What’s up with this website? Where did all the legit articles go? –> Check the bars to the left. Although we wanted to have a ton of useful information on here, it has quickly become apparent that Leverett House is just so good of a place to live that it deserves its own page. Word.”

Adams’ gong was apparently stolen by the “Friends United for Chinese Knicknacks and Against Detention of Ancient Manchurian Stuff” society. Take a moment to spot out the acronym. We wonder if it will find its safe return?

TO THE PRESS: THIS LETTER MUST BE REPRINTED WORD-FOR-WORD OR WHAT’S GONG STAYS GONG.

Cambridge, MA: Friends United for Chinese Knicknacks and Against Detention of Ancient Manchurian Stuff liberates gong

Communique for the Advocacy of Deliverance:

On Saturday, February 27, at 3:30 AM, members of the Fabulous Union of Chinese Keepsakes And Defenders of Apocryphal Mandarin Symbology succeeded in penetrating the Harvard residence known as Adams House and liberating a horribly-mistreated gong from the early Robert Lue dynasty. The glorious actions of Our Brothers and Sisters were provoked by the intelligence we had already gathered on the artifact’s unjust and inhumane internment, in conditions that can only be described as “douche-chilling.” Reports showed that the gong was regularly forced to attend Adams clan meetings in which the savage inhabitants engaged in bloody, ritualistic class-warfare amid the noxious fumes of Axe deodorant and expensive teas. We are also in the possession of audio recordings in which the inbred “pleasure servants” of the Adams community (class of ‘11) repeatedly proposition the gong for sexual activities despite its mute protests for peace and decency.

In the early morning of the 27th of February, our agents encountered little resistance from the poorly-defended hovel, whose very walls reek with sweat and echo the faint smacks of aggressive and unwanted fist-pounds. The “cabinet” was carelessly left unlocked and it was a matter of minutes before we were able to successfully remove its chain bonds using a simple pair of pliers.

Our objective in liberating the gong was not merely to confiscate said property (which admittedly is a mindblowingly-shitty gong) but also to lodge protest against a house marred by numerous ethical and aesthetic violations, which include kicking puppies, wearing tights as pants, and being giant douchecocks in general.

For these reasons we decided to carry out this action on the days preceding the tradition known as Housing Day as a preventative action – we do not wish to see yet another generation of freshmen condemned to assimilate in this house of harlots and scraggly wanna-beards. We strongly believe that action is the most practical way to propagate a belief, and with this in mind we will only consider returning the gong (on loan) to Harvard University if and only if the following conditions are met:

1.) Freshmen facing internment in the Adams House Property shall be given the option to refuse their assignment on ethical grounds.
2.) To discourage rampant “fronting,” residents of Adams are permitted to wear only sackcloth. Wearing a bowtie or other neck adornment is punishable by death.
3.) As it is a privilege, not a right, Adams House dining hall may no longer serve Marshmallow Mateys.
4.) Adams House males must redistribute their condoms to students who actually get laid (you’re not fooling anyone).
5.) Deliver 10 boxes of Pizza Rolls™, 4 cases of Cactus Cooler, and one of your “pleasure servants” (we’re not picky) to Quincy 609 by midnight of Housing Day.

Finally, we wish to salute and send our strength and will to our imprisoned comrades throughout the world, with specific acknowledgement to Juan Carlos and Bei “Milkshake” Xian, who were recently thwarted by fascists in their attempts to liberate the numerous laughing Buddhas from Famous Zhao’s Szechuan Delights: we celebrate your tenacity – fight on, Brothers and Sisters!

A big sloppy,
Cambridge cell of
FIRST UP, CHINA KITE-FLIERS AWAY! DOESN’T ADAMS MUFF SUCK

*For the propagation of the insurrection and the destruction of this disgusting skank-town.