This week we provide you with another incredibly jumbled (since the word eclectic is way, way wayyy too hipster passé) playlist to suit the mood. Housing day is nearly upon us and the air just reeks of the hope, triumph and heartbreak that is to come. Or maybe it’s just those whiffy potholes in the square.

Anyway, this week we bring you a bunch of songs with “house” and “home” in the name (see what we did thar?!), taking you from the pleading, desperate tunes of The Smiths, the jubilant funk of The Commodores, the punkangst of The Distillers and all the shades in between. It’s pretty much all house music, except without any actual House music.

Click here to see the full playlist or use the sidebar player

Reading FM today one of our staff writers found this little gem:

In case you can’t read that little box quite right, here’s the actual text:
Two true things:
1. Thanks to the Class of 2013, visits to Stillman for alcohol-related issues have reached a historic high
2. The Class of 2013 is the most socioeconomically diverse class in Harvard’s history

Giving no context for these “two true things”, we wonder how FM will defend this. Don’t see what we mean? Publishing these “two true things” is not only totally irrelevant, but implies that the greater socioeconomic diversity at Harvard somehow explains the rise in alcoholism. Transitive property. Y’all are smart, you don’t need us to explain why this is super fucked up.

Say "Totoro" five times fast.

Ever walk by that little blue awning in the square near the RadioShack and that horribly wafty LUSH place? You know the one. Above the little door that leads down into that little Japanese trinket wonderland called Kofuku. Well even if you don’t you might recognize the giant mouse-like creature at the right known as Totoro. Tototo? Totoro.

If you’ve never heard of Totoro or his creator Hayao Miyazaki, you really f*cking should. And there’s no better time than now. Why? Well, currently the Adams Pool Theater and the Harvard Japan Society is throwing down a Miyazaki Film Festival, playing a selection of his spectacular animated films. This isn’t Dragonball-Z. This is some serious stuff. Beautiful animation in every frame, rich textured landscapes, classy, classic movies. We swear….they’re big in Japan.

Looking for sickeningly cute Japanese creatures and heartwarming plots? (see: My Neighbor Totoro, Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea, Spirited Away).  If that’s not your thing, what about animated gore and epic violence? He’s got that too (see: Princess Mononoke). There’s so much to love here, and we soooo want you to go. If not for the rich cultural experience then for the hordes of adorable Asian chicks who are going to be ALL over this. Just kidding… kind of.

Anyway, the schedule (including the things you’ve missed) is as follows: Read the rest of this entry »

This week’s compilation of tunes reflects what’s in the air this weekend. That’s right my bitter/lovestruck/angsty/sappy/stalkery friends, to go along with our Valentine’s Day mini issue we’ve brought you a playlist of love. Sweet, bitter, catchy-as-hell, it’s all love. The longest Noice playlist yet, this eclectic mix could last us into next J-term but here’s just a sample of the tracklisting:

Hold You in My Arms – Ray Lamontagne //I’m a Slave 4 U – Britney Spears//Love Story – Taylor Swift//All is Full of Love – Bjork//My Funny Valentine – Chaka Khan//Die Alone – Ingrid Michaelson//You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates//Nerd Girl – Chester French

and of course: Bad Romance – Lady Gaga

Listen to the playlist in the sidebar or experience the full tracklisting after the jump

This week on the open_lists, one frustrated Leverettite addressed an issue that may point to the heart of student relations issues on campus (er…lack of “relations”, perhaps): WHY are the house condom boxes always empty?

Obvi not the Leverett hare.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: J.* <j———-@fas.harvard.edu>
Date: Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 5:38 PM
Subject: Re: [Open] Empty Condom Box!
To: “C.” <c———-@fas.harvard.edu>
Cc: open@leverett.harvard.edu

Okay, in all seriousness, I realize sex is a taboo subject.

But given how wonderful sex can be and how rare it often is that the average Harvard undergraduate gets to enjoy it, I shudder at the thought of Leverites having no sex at all (or worse, unsafe sex) because a walk to UHS or CVS is such a hassle when you’re all hot and bothered.

Remember, a key component of effective sexual education is access to preventative materials, and the ability to talk openly about it through venues such as Lev Open.

So when someone fills the Condom Box, I hope he or she lets everyone know, and continues to do so on a regular basis.

Have fun y’all!

Best,
J. Click to read the responses

A doodle of a bad pun? How positively analog of us.

Hung up on the name? Well, what’s in a name? An iPad by any other name would still scrub Flash content as sweet. And most VES concentrators would agree… that bezel is fugly. But anyone who’s been in a large lecture hall knows that this school is chock full o’ Apple whores (er, SteveJobstitutes?).  So we know some of you will at least think about buying it. Is it honestly worth it? And amidst our iphones/ipods/ and MacBook( Pro)s, what could this possibly add to the already complex student experience? The reasons are sometimes subtler than you might think but here’s how this blogger sees it:

Rah-rah ah-ah-ah!

Well it’s Affordable? Kind of.

Yeah. So it’s not exactly friendly to those of us here on need-based scholarships. But at $499 you could waive part of your university health insurance, and even have enough left over to get those f*cking adapters (USB, really?). Just hope you never need a UHS prescription. [Note: avoid sweaty finals clubs where fist-pumping shirtless man-boys could fling body sweat into your face and give you conjunctivitis. Is that paranoid? Not if you can’t afford the copay.] Read the rest of this entry »

Er, you mean “concentrate in” right?

source: College Humor

This week, adding to our online anthology, some poems on the bitterness of a transient existence. Just remember that first of Four Noble Truths? “Life is suffering.”

Know why I am screwed?
900 pages to read.
Ugh, English Major.

Know why I’m not screwed?
I was done a week ago.
Yay for VES.

Procrastinating,
By writing haiku poems:
A dumb idea.

Fetal position.
I will take my exam in
Fetal position.

by Ingrid Pierre ‘12
December 2009 Issue

Dear Undergrads,

If you thought four days of Thanksgiving break were hard, try this newly extended break on for size. J-Term? More like “J-Terminate me, now”! Some of you may wonder, what’s so bad about several weeks of continuous break with family-members-who-love-you-dearly-and-haven’t-seen-you-in-months-and-want-to-catch-up-really-badly-but-not-before-you-show-them-how-to-work-skype-so-you-can-call-grandma-and-then-fix-the-TV-that’s-been-broken-since-you-left-because-no-one-else-knows-how-to-do-it? (Yeah…) Perhaps that’s assuming a great deal about your home life. But that’s just the thing; you do have a home life and a Harvard life. And if you’re an ordinary person, you should know that there’s a clear distinction between the two.

So for those of you who may not know what you’re in for this break, we’ve come up with a little advice on how to ease back into Kansas, Dorothy.

Social Etiquette:

• If someone asks you about school, just smile and say it’s all good. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT mention how horrible CS50 was or bring up any readings and assignments in conversation. No one cares. We mean it. Also, tone down the big words and use of obscure eponymous adjectives. While you may fling around a “panegyric”, “heteronormative”, or “Aeschylean” on the daily here, everyone else will think you’re a tool.
• Don’t wear your COOP approved Harvard gear in public. Keep a low profile, and don’t rub it in people’s faces that you go here, besides any schmoe can get a Harvard shirt. I mean your cousins probably wear theirs all the time (for the ladies, of course). Read the rest of this entry »

cute until he interrupts your Italian dinner date.

This just in! Rats have invaded the North End … or have they?

Residents say these “scary” beasts are keeping their children from sleeping in basements, turning their neighborhoods into a “Third World country” (really, they went there), and “spreading diseases” (we’re guessing they don’t mean parrot fever).

Officials, on the other hand, don’t think there’s actually any cause for concern… though they concede that there have been some “hot spots” lately. Guh-ross. What’s a rat “hot spot”? And more importantly, does it have free wifi?

Seeing as they recently caught 90 rats… NINETY RATS…  in just one case of infestation, we’re sure you’re wondering: do we have anything to fear  seeing as we live just under 4 miles away from this hot rodent mess?

Good news is that they usually travel just within 300 ft to scavenge for food, so we shouldn’t worry yet. Also, did you know they have belly buttons? And before you go “awwww” just think… their front teeth also grow 4½ to 5½ inches yearly but they wear them down by gnawing on everything in sight. Adorable, huh?

Give thanks this year for brevity! Noice wishes you happy travels (or non-travels) this Thanksgiving  with its fourth installment of Harvard Haiku. This time with 36% more tryptophan!

International:
It means I will be alone
All friggin’ weekend.

Airport arrivals,
My mom will probably say,
“Harvard made you fat.”

Four days with the fam,
No clam chowder on Friday.
How will I survive?

Black Friday, it’s on.
If only Neiman Marcus
Would take Crimson Cash.