Hi again Harvard,

Two weeks ago I made the claim that Harvard students always have sex on the mind. We talk about it all the time and are eager to learn all about it. However, I believe we never talk about sex where it counts. More often than not, partners don’t talk about sex with each other. I know this from personal experience. When I started hooking up with Antonio two years ago, I was really apprehensive about discussing anything sex-related with him. He was more experienced than I was, and I didn’t want to sound demanding or irredeemably stupid. I talked about sex with my blockmates and even to random strangers, but never to Antonio himself.

(Image: Google Images)

That all changed when I started fooling around with my next hook-up, an older man of approximately 24 years of age, Marcus*. Marcus set the standards of lover-hood sky-high. He was so attentive that I felt spoiled rotten. Every few weeks or so, he would ask about our hook-up sessions. Could he do something to make it better? He really liked it when I did A, B and C. Was this my clitoris, or was THIS my clitoris? Could we try doing so and so next time?

At first, I was embarrassed to actually voice what turned me on and off; that quickly changed. I started to keep an open mind, and we began discussing possible sexual activities. Planning out our exploits soon became half the fun! The techniques and skills I picked up when I was involved with Marcus have stayed with me. The most important lesson he taught me, though, was that sex is an art. As with all skills, to get better at it, you have to practice. And practice involves knowing what’s working and what’s not.

My point in sharing this story is to encourage lovers all over campus to talk about what they want, like and don’t like. The biggest gift you can bestow upon your partner is to ask the simple question: what can I do to make this experience better for the both of us? Similarly, if you really enjoy hooking up with someone, tell him/her! The day Antonio blurted out that he really enjoyed my blow job-giving skills was the day I became more enthusiastic about going down on him. In fact, I couldn’t keep my mouth off him! The satisfaction of knowing you can give someone pleasure and do it well is almost as good as the actual sex itself.

So get talking, people. If you’re nervous, imagine the sexual possibilities that will open up once your creative juices start flowing! It can’t hurt… unless, of course, you’re into that sorta thing.

Until next time,

Only Girl in The World

Tell me what you want to hear about: askonlygirl@gmail.com – all article suggestions will be kept anonymous.

*Real names have been changed.