The Fresh Five, Part One
Posted by Alice on September 18, 2011 at 8:32 pm
With the opening of the fall semester, an influx of 2015 freshmen flooded the yard in full force, edging out their begrudging predecessors into river houses and the Faraway Quad. Starry-eyed, gaping-mouthed, they wandered around the compound in a frenzy of high-pitched buzz. All ears and eyes flitted quickly from one non-descript identity to another, until they stumbled upon a particularly distinctive and memorable character.
For this series, The Voice has identified five interesting freshies that might be worthy to take note of. Let’s start with…
1. The (In)Famous Pole Dancer
Have not we all met Katalicious from our premature, over-excited Facebook correspondences? She has successfully established her Facebook persona into a sort of Harvard online “hooker” brand, shocking the more conservative peers while earning respect from even the raunchiest upperclassmen with delightful innuendos such as “High school is like a dick : long and hard. Unless you’re Asian.” Sometimes they are outright suggestive like “I cannot fucking wait for Inside Out to hit radios. That song is so orgasmic and it turns me on every time and I will grind the fuck out of any nearby person/object.” Or perhaps shorter and classier pieces like “I love your cock because it sticks up for me.”
If those saucy statements alone did not catch your attention, her barrage of half-naked pictures will. Be it performing an impressive feat in her pole-dancing classes, doing her CS50 homework, or simply hanging around the yard, there will always be cleavages, or abs or asses and legs to show. That girl who is always in bikini-like attire every single time you spot her (even when it’s 40 degree outside)? Yep, that’s her.
But not everyone has met Katherine Ji Zhou, the real, breathing, human being behind this social-network sensation. Surprisingly normal and decent (bordering to somewhat shy, even!), she greeted me in (surprise, surprise) hot pants and sports bra. Kat was all smiles and willing answers, with not a single hint of stereotypical bitchiness. Here are some Q&As :
Why do you brand yourself as Katalicious Def (GET NAKED BITCH) ?
“Oh, I have the typical Asian Tiger parents, and they banned me from using Facebook in high school, so they kept searching for Facebook names I might come up with. I created this name so they wouldn’t locate me.The “(GET NAKED BITCH)” part was more of an experiment to see if I could get swear words and all-caps through Facebook’s filters.
“I’m pretty much a nerd. Seriously. I’m really huge into computer games and Pokemon. In fact, my application essay was about Pokemon. I’m also a slacker who enjoys just staying indoor and doing my own stuff – like pole dancing, programming, and graphic designing – and that’s why I don’t join any club. I’m trying to start up a pole dancing club though, feel free to join!”
Have you always been so open about your sexuality? Our sources told us that you had been pretty reserved in high school. Is this some kind of a Facebook publicity stunt?
“Hmm not really. I’ve always been this outspoken with my close friends. I’m rather shy around new people, and being raised under strict Asian parents definitely did not give me any opportunity to express my wilder side (except on Facebook!) But with the start of college I think it’s about time for me to let it all out.”
What’s with the bikinis?
“Well I find them comfortable to wear. I’m in good shape. I feel completely confident and secure about my body image, (and is it that cold?) so why not? “
Fair enough. Lastly, aren’t you afraid of peer judgment and nay-sayers? People have been calling you names, from attention seeker to Asian whore/slut/bitch.
“Nah, I don’t care. I don’t know these people, and probably never will throughout my four years in Harvard. I’m just saying what I think, wearing what I want, cracking inappropriate jokes to amuse my friends. There’s no harm done. My friends call me whore/slut/bitch all the time just for fun.”

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[...] our Freshman series, Noice brings to you a star athlete. (Previous inductees to the list include: a pole dancer, the national Spelling Bee champion, the Tiger Daughter, and a musician.) More than just a [...]
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