Posted by Michelle Nguyen on March 7, 2011 at 11:48 pm
The HarvardHoochies Part 2: We asked some bros for their thoughts on these controversial Twitter lasses. Read our original interview with the girls here.
Meet the “Bro Panel”:
- Bret Voith, a senior resident of Lowell House and former co-captain of the varsity Water Polo team. The Hoochies have endearingly called him “sexual vanilla popsicle.” How fast will they devour him post-thesis/Lamont?
- Jeff Lee, a senior History of Art and Architecture concentrator in Kirkland House. He wants to “play water polo during the day and model at night for the rest of [his] life.” He promises to hold the key to activate the HH’s yellow fever.
- Water Sports Bro: Because we really needed another ball-hurling, speedos-wearing panelist.
- Hot Bro: Strong arms. Strong arms.
- Mysterious Bro: We don’t know any more about him than you do. We like the air of mystery though.
- Shirtless Bro: We have nothing on him except that he looks hot shirtless. His teammates agree. Bromance.
- Random Bro: He dropped by one day and left a random comment.
The Bro Response:
1. What’s your overall feeling towards the Hoochies? Do you know them personally, and if you do, does their online persona reflect who they are in person?
Water Sports Bro (WS): I have no idea who they are. For the longest time I thought it was a few Harvard guys! They’re definitely very entertaining and know what they’re talking about.
Hot Bro (HB): I personally love the Hoochies, I don’t know who any of them are, but I have heard some names thrown around. I do think they are incredibly entertaining, and am genuinely flattered when they tweet about me!
Mysterious Bro (MB): I know some of the girls personally, and the HH twitter account reflects their personality pretty well because they are very entertaining in real life as well. What a lot of people don’t get is that the whole thing is a joke and their tweets are outrageous on purpose, because these girls know that people at Harvard will overreact. They are making fun of both BU girls who actually want to find a final club husband and they are poking fun at uptight Harvard girls and guys who can’t seem to realize that this is a joke.
Shirtless Bro (SB): They are like the housewives from the Bravo series. out for cheap fame, since they can get it through being smart, brilliant, or changing the world.
Random Bro: So the ladies of the Harvard Hoochies say they ward off RUHGs, but that implies that BU girls are hotter than Harvard girls. While it’s true you may find some ladies at BU you can’t find at Harvard, I see more 0s, and worse 0s, at BU than I ever would at Harvard. At least at Harvard they’re SMART.
Bret Voith (Sexual Vanilla Popsicle – SVP): Silly Hoochies…
Jeff Lee (JL): I like the Hoochies. They’ve single-handedly boosted Twitter participation among males at Harvard by 500%. If you see a bunch of Harvard girls screaming and glaring at a group of random girls at a party, they’re probably from BU and it’s likely they’re the Hoochies.
2. There was a rumor that there are 80 of them. Is this, or should this be a sorority?
WS: I don’t think it’s a sorority. I heard it was a BBM group of BU girls who all tell each other where the parties are/ what guys they’re getting with/ etc. and they turned it into a competition among themselves to get with guys in all of the clubs.
HB: Haha, I believe that there are only 7 of them, but I also heard about a BBM group of about 80 of them where you can basically send in a name of a final club bro, and get background info on him: previous hook-ups, more details, etc. I’d love to know if this were true or not.
JL: I guess it’s fair to identify the Hoochies as a new, legitimate women’s group on campus. There’s women final clubs, sororities, and the Hoochies. i.e. “Tonight, I saw the Bee, Theta, and the Hoochies when I was out.” I’m sure there’s someone somewhere within Harvard’s bureaucracy in charge of undergraduate social life or something. If you’re that person, go talk to the Hoochies. It’s like Egypt; the Hoochies are revolutionizing Harvard.
3. The Hoochies shower their Twitterlove on the basketball players. They also spoke of baseball, tennis, and lacrosse, ostensibly leaving out the water sports. Is this okay?
SVP: The Hoochies loving athletes without including the water sports is like eating a salad with no dressing. Though I think they have recently figured that out.
WS: They left out water polo at first, but just the other day they said that it was their new favorite sport!
4. The Hoochies love the “vanilla” and “chocolate” men. No love for the Asians! Blasphemy?
JL: The problem about them not giving any love to Asians is because there’s probably a total of 5 asian people from Harvard on Twitter. I heard Twitter is frowned upon by Asian parents like sleepovers, sports, or pursuing your interests. Tiger Mom definitely hates Twitter and doesn’t let her kids use it.
5. Do you think the existence of the HH is a major step back for the feminist movement, as some have said?
WS: I don’t think this has anything to do with any feminist movements, it’s more of a joke than anything else. I highly doubt these girls take anything they say seriously.
HB: Potentially, I guess. I think it goes along with the saying, to each [her] own. Some girls would like to make it for themselves and actually do something with their lives, and others just wanna mooch. I’m sure the same goes for guys, maybe.
MB: I don’t think that at all. Rather, their existence shows that being intelligent and going to Harvard doesn’t mean that people can take a joke. Some people at Harvard need to learn to chill and just have a laugh about these ridiculous tweets. Not everything is about race, gender, or social class, but you can certainly pretend that the opposite is true. A bit of banter never hurt anyone, and if some girls seriously think that the HH is a major step back for the feminist movement, then they should probably get off their high horses and go out have fun and get laid.
SB: Not major, but definitely a step back. It shows to the public that girls want to and have to rely on men. Even if not all girls, a good proportion do.
JL: Abigail Adams, Susan B. Anthony, Carrie Catt, the Harvard Hoochies. Imagine if the Hoochies joined forces with WIB… It would be like McDonalds merging with Google.
6. Rumor has it that the Hoochies ‘aren’t that attractive.’ How attractive does a biddy have to be to wiggle her way into the heart (or something else) of a final club bro?
HB: If they are not very attractive, that kinda ruins their entire game plan – there is a pretty prevalent notion that BU girls are better looking than Harvard girls, and that is the only way they succeed. I’m not convinced this is true, as there are lots of great looking Harvard girls – BU girls just try harder. A BU biddy would have to be pretty gorgeous and easy to get along with to wiggle her way into the heart of a final club bro. However, depending on how drunk these bros are, ugly girls can wiggle their way into a bed pretty occasionally.
MB: There are many Harvard girls who are much better looking than them, but the HH are more put together and generally they are more fun and more approachable. The sad thing is that many Harvard girls care more about social status than having fun when they are going out, which is not the case with these girls, and most guys appreciate that. It is also pretty interesting that Harvard girls are extremely prejudiced against girls from other schools. Aren’t we Harvard students supposed to be open minded and non-judgmental?
SB: Attractive on a national scale is enough. But the Harvard scale will help inflate those girls who are on the border line. Also you can’t really wiggle your way into the heart of a final club bro… Only into his pants.
JL: Julianne Moore – original Hoochie from her times at BU. Natalie Portman – Hoochie fighter since 1999. Take it as you wish.
7. Their stereotype for the Phoenix: Chocolates. Thoughts?
WS: I guess that reflects the people they’ve met in the Phoenix? Obviously we’re a very diverse club and that could theoretically describe certain members, but it’s much better than the stereotypes they have for some of the other clubs.
[Or nothing at all. Remember the Spee? Guess not.]
8. Run-ins with the Hoochies in Punta Cana: Yay or nay?
WS: If I run in to them, I’ll let you know.
JL: I won’t believe they’re going to Punta Cana till I see it. By the way, Jack Holuba is the sharpest kid at Harvard.
What do you think? It’s Women’s Week at Harvard, and the ladies are certainly getting a lot of attention. We just don’t know if it’s the right kind. Leave your opinion in the comment box, or email your longer response to email@example.com. Your comments might get featured (anonymously, if you wish) on our blog!
[Editor's note, 03/08/10: Changes were made to protect the privacy of interviewees.]