Ig Nobel Winners and Nobel Laureates show that they are capable of standing up

So  something awesome and bacteria-themed happened on September 30, 2010, at Sanders Theater, at approximately 7:38 p.m., eight minutes after schedule.  Every year, the people behind the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) host the Ig Nobel Awards as a response to less prestigious awards ceremonies to celebrate research that “makes you laugh, then think [how the fuck did they get money for this?]“.  Past Ig Nobel awards have been given to the likes of Kees Moeliker, a Dutch scientist who discovered homosexual necrophilia in ducks (Biology, 2003), and Shigeru Watanabe, Junko Sakamoto, and Masumi Wakita, of Keio University, for teaching pigeons how to tell Monet and Picasso paintings apart (Psychology, 1995).  The awards are presented by

bemused Nobel Laureates.

This year, new inductees to the venerable group include Italian scientists who mathematically proved that it’s more efficient for organizations to promote people at random (Management), American scientists who showed that microbes do indeed adhere to beards (Public Health), and a Chinese-English team that documented fellatio in fruit bats (Biology).  If you want actually know the names of these people and see pictures of people with lots of facial hair, check out the website.

Between awards presentations, there was an opera about bacteria, paper plane throwing, and a chance to win a date with a Nobel Laureate.

Also, AMANDA FUCKING PALMER of Dresden Dolls fame, presented the actual awards (a petri dish glued to what appeared to be a piece of cardboard) and performed as a musical guest as the left half of music duo Evelyn Evelyn, which sang a song about elephants.  And then another one about bacteria.

Didn’t win an Ig Nobel?  Didn’t go to the Ig Nobel Awards?  DEFINITELY do it next year!

In the recent wake of a heightened number of LGBT teen related suicides, 50 Cent let loose this little gem on his twitter.

Grammar errors aside (NO I’M SORRY IT’S YOU’RE), people in the public eye never seem to learn that if they harbor discriminatory feelings to perhaps not broadcast them to the entire world. This, of course, is to be said after the fact that it’s a shame he thinks in such a way regardless. For an actual effective project being done to combat the problem of suicides within marginalized communities, Dan Savage, a noted American author, has started a YouTube phenomenon called the It Gets Better Project.

Hey Fiddy, weren’t you shot nine times? One would think you would place a higher value on living. The world would, in fact, be a better place without comments such as yours.

As an aside…25 is a very arbitrary number. Were you up to something before 25 50 Cent? #doseofyourownmeds

As if you haven’t had October 1st aka (OHH DAYY-UMMM! OMG OMG YOU GUYS!) the release date of The Social Network circled on your calendar since last reading period, get pumped by checking out On Harvard Time’s interview with Aaron Sorkin (screenwriter, of West Wing fame), Jesse Eisenberg (za Zuck), and Armie Hammer (wait, I just lost my track of thought because he is so. good. looking.).

You don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies. Dun. Dun. DUN.

According to The Huffington Post, Gawker, and UT spokespeople, there is an active shooting situation ongoing at the University of Texas at Austin. Warning sirens began going off around approximately 8:40 a.m. central time.

Gawker is reporting:

“The Austin Statesman is reporting an “active shooting situation” on the University of Texas campus. A spokeswoman says an “armed suspect” in the Perry-Casteneda library (pictured) has shot himself. No word on other victims yet. Updates below.

An employee who works down the street says the warning sirens went off around 8:40 a.m. this morning. “The building has been locked down and I don’t think they’re letting anybody in or out,” she says. Officials reportedly sent out a campus-wide text message this morning “telling people to stay inside and lock doors.”

Update 2: Police spokeswoman Rhonda Wheldon tells the AP “nobody else [besided the gunman] was reported hurt.”

Also: Local news in Texas is saying there’s a second suspect. And now the university police say they’re searching for a second suspect.

Update 3: One suspect shot and killed himself with an AK-47 on the sixth floor of the library, according to a UT spokesman. “We don’t have any report of anybody getting shot at this point,” he says. Police are still seeking the second suspect. Witnesses report hearing about ten gunshots.”

Photo Credit: (Jay Janner AMERICAN-STATESMAN)

More updates to come as information is revealed. The campus currently remains on lockdown. We’re sincerely hoping all are safe and if there is a second suspect he is apprehended.

Update: Potential of a second suspect eliminated and students were given the go-ahead to leave campus this Tuesday once authorities were sure sure there were no explosives remaining on campus. The identity of the deceased gunman remains anonymous.

Oh goodness–the things that are unearthed. Here at The Voice we have our sources. Now, we’re hoping (and are fairly confident that) this is an elaborate prank on behalf of the Lampoon or a really bored, disgruntled freshman–but if not, we received this little gem today: an e-mail allegedly sent out over the Eta-Psi fraternity list. It’s about brotherhood alright…if one is to use the term liberally. Just…just read it for yourself:

–

“Dearest Brothers,

A tip of the bro hat to you, sir.

Damn son.

Ron and Harry never had to wait in line at the Great Hall, right? Omnomnomnom!

image credits: Heidi Lim and HarryPotterGIF.tumblr.com