Number one feeling right now: Demetri Martin is hilarious. But the dog Bruce on the show is even funnier. Watch this now if you want to laugh. Seriously. I’m just cracking up. It’s ridiculous. Best way possible of course.

On to other interesting things. LIKE THE MF’N SUPERBOWL. There are a million places holding things on campus--and they’re likely all in your events feed on Facebook therefore I am not going to say where they are. I will be watching it on my futon in my room and making everyone in my dorm wish they had earplugs/wonder if I’m injured. Equally loud people will be present, some will have accents, and one will not understand football. But that’s ok. Because the Saints are going to win. WHO DAT.

Speaking of football this kid (David Sills), who is THIRTEEN years old, is already signed to USC to play football (QB) in 2015. HE’S THAT GOOD. IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND?

And this just confused me…Middle Tennessee State University (that’s a mouthful), put together a Little Jon crunkfest for International Holocaust Day. Ummm. I mean I’m all for slam poetry, or whatever they were going for, but in remembrance of genocide? I feel like “Shake that Monkey” and “Never Forget” don’t really gel together that well. Maybez just meh.

Meanwhile, DC is freaking out because it’s the SNOWPOCALYPSE. This guy clearly got a little too worked up. Or he’s on something. Both. I vote both. I’m guessing we’re next. Will classes get canceled? No. We will trudge through those three feet of snow. We will complain. I will die of hypothermia after I go sledding or build an igloo because I’m Texan and I set the bar low.

So, enjoy your Superbowl Sunday. If you hear someone yelling WHO DAT it’s probs me. Sorry. In advance. Ish. Keep in mind that everything in this world may or may not be a hologram. I KNOW WTF? I leave you with this eternal classic.