Photos courtesy of Voice staff writer Bonnie Cao

Immediate Gratification Players Performing

Wyclef & Rosa Rios (US Treasurer)

Wyclef & Kirkland Housemaster

SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH

FIRST OF ALL. ZOOLANDER 2. IT’S HAPPENING. I don’t know about you guys but when I heard this today I freaked out and immediately wanted to get a frap and go have a gas station oil fight. But to each their own.

Also, Canadians know how to celebrate a win. Too bad the Olympics might be punishing them for straight up busting out cigars and bubbly on the ice.

Speaking of the Olympics, a new London logo was just released and it’s REALLY GOOD. At least there are no subtle/strange undertones like the other one (it’s below the awesome one)…I mean, really look at it.

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Blocking is like swimming. For some, it happens easily and naturally–a few strokes and you’re afloat. For others, not so much. Arms flail, water is gulped…and then you drown and are MISERABLE AND DIE.

To avoid the latter situation, we’ve constructed for  you a brief guide to blocking.

1. Do not block with your significant other or would-be significant other. This is probably the one rule you should always abide by. DO NOT BREAK IT, seriously. Blocking with someone you may have feelings for could make things awkward later. You might be omg-so-in-love right now, but what happens after a bitter breakup? Transferring to another house is a pain in the rear, so avoid blockcest at all costs!

2. Do not block with The Drama Queen. Because drama will, undoubtedly, ensue. Um, especially if you’re a girl.

3. Brace yourself for eleventh-hour blocking drama. People will pull out or leave you blocking-groupless at the last minute, so be mentally prepared. It might be a good idea even to have backup plans–get ready to beg and plead to be let in on your second choice blocking group.

4. You’ll find that linking doesn’t really matter. Yeah, you’ll be in adjacent houses but the reality of seeing your linkmates all the time like you’re still biffles is unlikely. Sorry.

5. Enjoy River Run the night before Housing Day. It’ll help soothe the pain once you’re Quadded the next morning. (Or you’ll be too hangover or still drunk to soak in the reality of what just happened.) To ensure this doesn’t happen, construct the most badass sacrificial boat for the River Gods…sans firecrackers, unless you want the Cambridge Police and Fire Departments on your asses (CLASS OF 2012 FTW!).

“The Washington Post,” reports that Harvard University Law professor Laurence Tribe, who once hired Barack Obama as a research assistant, is now set to join the Justice Department with the aim of leading projects towards opening up greater legal access to the impoverished. Tribe is a well-known figure in the legal community: he has been before the Supreme Court 35 times, for example. We wish Tribe, who is now 68 years old and is a tenured professor at Harvard (since the age of 29) the best of luck!

Reading FM today one of our staff writers found this little gem:

In case you can’t read that little box quite right, here’s the actual text:
Two true things:
1. Thanks to the Class of 2013, visits to Stillman for alcohol-related issues have reached a historic high
2. The Class of 2013 is the most socioeconomically diverse class in Harvard’s history

Giving no context for these “two true things”, we wonder how FM will defend this. Don’t see what we mean? Publishing these “two true things” is not only totally irrelevant, but implies that the greater socioeconomic diversity at Harvard somehow explains the rise in alcoholism. Transitive property. Y’all are smart, you don’t need us to explain why this is super fucked up.

This weekend at Bright Hockey Center the Harvard Women’s Hockey team, now on a three game winning streak and recently having three of its players tapped to be on the All-ECAC team, will be taking on Princeton first this weekend at the best of three ECAC Hockey quarterfinal series. For the purposes of inspiration, Princeton is Soviet Russia: