A doodle of a bad pun? How positively analog of us.

Hung up on the name? Well, what’s in a name? An iPad by any other name would still scrub Flash content as sweet. And most VES concentrators would agree… that bezel is fugly. But anyone who’s been in a large lecture hall knows that this school is chock full o’ Apple whores (er, SteveJobstitutes?).  So we know some of you will at least think about buying it. Is it honestly worth it? And amidst our iphones/ipods/ and MacBook( Pro)s, what could this possibly add to the already complex student experience? The reasons are sometimes subtler than you might think but here’s how this blogger sees it:

Rah-rah ah-ah-ah!

Well it’s Affordable? Kind of.

Yeah. So it’s not exactly friendly to those of us here on need-based scholarships. But at $499 you could waive part of your university health insurance, and even have enough left over to get those f*cking adapters (USB, really?). Just hope you never need a UHS prescription. [Note: avoid sweaty finals clubs where fist-pumping shirtless man-boys could fling body sweat into your face and give you conjunctivitis. Is that paranoid? Not if you can’t afford the copay.]

Your Best Friend at the Dining Hall

Whether at Annenberg or in the Houses, this thing might just make your sad self look a little better when you’re eating alone between classes. It’ll seem “busier” than the iPod/iPhone just for its larger size, while not being nearly as traumatic as a full-on laptop if you drop Thai Coconut Shrimp all over it. No one likes curry on the keyboard (unless it’s touchscreen and you particularly like wetnaps, of course).

As a Status Symbol

If you derive pleasure from your Harvardian elitism or if you were one of those people who had your hands on a StarTAC way back in ’96 (first clamshell phone FTW), then you’ll probably be a sucker for this thing. And if you fill your eBook Library with enough Proust you could be the coolest kid in your blocking group. Right? Right?!

For campus “Dating”

The noiseless keyboard allows that guy/girl you just hooked up with to sleep soundly while you surreptitiously use Harvard Facebook to recall their name. Stealth.

For the Perpetually Dateless

We hear you poor Harvard FMLers. And, ahem… um, well, perhaps Gizmodo said it best “It’s simple: You can hold something that weighs 1.5 pounds in one hand.”

For Looking Good in Section

Did that loudmouth just say something racist or ill-informed? School their ass with a super zoomed-in PDF from your sociology class. At 1.5 pounds you can even wave some illuminating infographics in their face! Can’t do that with a MacBook, no way, no how. And if that’s not your style, when switched off we’re sure that dark and shiny surface works great as a mirror. At least your lipgloss’ll be poppin’.

Distraction

Ok, so maybe we don’t need more distraction in our lives but damn if this won’t be the greatest consumption device, ever. Got a paper to procrastinate on? A 10 hour layover on your way to Boston Logan? Why not watch 6 movies back-to-back on your iPad? Will your eyes be bleeding after? Maybe. But you’ll do it. Just because you can.

People are Definitely Going to Buy This Thing. Meaning us. Plenty of us.

We’re sure that once you get your hands on this thing you’ll  want it the same way you wanted Pokemon cards and Tamagotchi back in the day. Maybe almost as much as an 8th Harry Potter book. (Which, if you’re anything like we are, means A LOT). On campus this tool might turn you into a tool, but honestly who cares as long as it’s shiny and new? For some of us, if Apple made toilet paper we’d probably proudly trail it from the bottom of our soles.

A little more on the subject:

How will I Play Bloons???

Stephen Fry’s Comments

From the words of a Twitter engineer … because we guess that makes him qualified to comment?

(408-996-1010): That’s the phone number for Apple HQ should you have any need to vent your frustrations.