We all love holidays, we all love home, and we all love pecan pie. Highly probable generalizations aside, yet another to be added to the list is that we all hate waiting. As someone who will actively trade Space Mountain for the Alice in Wonderland teacups at Disneyland because of said hatred, I must thus turn to the only website that can alleviate this frustration – no, not Perez, as much as I love his coke-dripping and groin-heart-ing scribbles – but VeryNoice. So begins the Diary of a Holiday Traveller – oh, and all the things I’m thankful for.

3:37 pm: Dear Mom, I know you like to be prepared and arrive three hours before international flights … and domestic flights, and I wholeheartedly believed you and completely agreed about your fear of the Thanksgiving holiday travel rush. Which is why I listened and bought a 3 pm HSA Shuttle ticket for my 7:30 pm Logan flight -you know, just to be on the safe side. Well .. the shuttle took a whole 27 minutes, check-in took a whole 2 seconds (checked-in early, carry-on luggage only – wootwoot), security took 10 minutes – 3 not counting the wild-eyed cat lady in front of me who thought “taking off your shoes” meant opening your luggage and taking out every single pair of Reef and Old Navy flipflops in your suitcase – which leaves me with …. 3 HOURS and 53 MINUTES to kill. Danke.

3:40 pm: Decide to buy a Chai Tea Latte at Starbucks. It just looked so warmly lit and homey, and I’m a sucker for those red holiday cups – it’s like Christmas joy … in a cup. A pilot hands me a cup sleeve when I get my drink with a wink reminiscent of all things 80s and gag-worthy, and informs me that it’s his “early Christmas present to me.” Thanks dude.

3:48 pm: Thanks to AIrwaves – “the official sound of Boston Logan Airport,” I have learned that GOD (aka Google) has given the ultimate holiday gift to travelling college students with overly-prepared parents everywhere – FREE WIFI! None of this $7.50-for-the-day-when-you’re-really-only-spending-an-hour-(or 3 hours and 53 minutes)-in-the-airport-anyway shiet! YES! FREE! THANK YOU GOOGLE. Oh, and Airwaves I guess you get a thank you too.

4:06 pm: The flight attendants have officially made their 4th call for a passenger named Ken (or Kent? Either way your parents should have known better than to name you after Barbie’s boyfriend – no one can handle that kind of pressure) West, who needs to report to the gate so that the flight can leave on time. Way to go Ken. I am thankful that I am not on your flight, slacker.

4:12 pm: THE MAN OF THE HOUR! A balding man (no resemblance whatsoever to Mr. Barbie) comes sprinting down the terminal. Either it’s (finally!) Ken(t) West or this guy – HOLY SHIT AN AIR MARSHAL! JK – it’s probably just Kenny.

4:20 pm: Airwaves has just informed me that the city I’m now in – YAY BOSTON! – is a town “Famous for the Boston Tea Party, Harvard, and Cheers!” What am I thankful for now? That my school ranks up there with a tea party and a bar! Yeah non-Harvardians – BE JEALOUS.

4:37 pm: This one I’m not really thankful for. At all. This one will be forced … our beloved Airwaves is playing some country-rock version of Jingle Bells. I will attempt to convey the pain accrued from this melodious tune: “JIN – GLE – BELLS (drums) ONE – HORSE – SUH – SLEIGH (drum solo) I SAID JIN – JIN – GLE (HEY!) BELLS – BELLS! (HEY!) OHH-HEY-OHHHohhhWOAHHHHH! (drum epileptic seizure). Yea – it’s just that good. Thankful the pain has stayed internal – probably wouldn’t be allowed on the plane if my ears were actually bleeding.

5:00 pm: It’s 5 pm. I’ve been here for an hour and a half. Two and a half more to go and no more emails to read or HarvardFML submissions to mod. FML

[ Thanks HarvardFML for lasting me as long as you did. ]

Approx 5:10 pm: YAY! Bumped into a friend from high school! My knight in shiny boredom-vanquishing armor! I love airports – everyone needs to go through there eventually … unless youre a local. Then I guess youre shit out of luck. I am thankful for coincidences – and dare I say – Serendipity?

6:05 pm: After a solid catch-up session, my high school bud’s flight to Long Beach is boarding. Damn. Damn damn damn. SIGH. Sigh sigh sigh. Toodles and I’ll see you in LA in a couple of hours! SO thankful for … common destinations?

6:06 pm: Bored again. Nothing to be thankful for when you’re bored. Except maybe Sporcle. Thank you Sporcle.

6:07 pm: Oh em gee –  according to Mr. Flight Attendant announcer guy, theres someone here named ANDREW CULLEN … long lost Cullen brother?!?! I gotta just get it over with and go watch New Moon.

6:30 pm: Still playing Sporcle. Have you tried the Turkey Population Quiz? Yea – don’t. It’s kind of silly. Just thought it’d be a nice seasonal touch.

6:40 pm: OH HEY former Harvard hook-up! Thankful for small worlds … and IMMINENT BOARDING TIMES.

7:00 pm: One less-awkward-than-expected chat and planned coffee date later, it’s time to board the flight! The flight attendants are giving a last reminder that there will be no meals served on the flight – thus sending a wave of passengers to a conveniently placed mini-deli across the way. Thank goodness I could live off of Jet Blue’s absolutely scrumptious Terra chips.

7:30 pm: Cozily seated. Time to sleep and dream of sunshine. Thank you headrest.