When deciding where to apply to college, millions of students from around the world read countless brochures, meet with guidance counselors, and attend college fairs to help them narrow down the decision. Thousands, lured by a historic campus and vast academic offerings—or perhaps by the lore of Primal Scream—apply to Harvard. But many of these students (maybe even you!) still don’t know some of the finer points of the university. Which is why we bring to you yet another Noice Original:

BLOATABLE NOTABLES

Most people probably know that Harvard has produced several U.S. presidents, including the Roosevelts and JFK. On the other hand, most people are probably unaware that some of Harvard’s alumni have risen to power in other spheres.

Late Pakistani President Benazir Bhutto,
Chief Justice Supreme Court John Roberts,
literary iconoclast Dr. Michael Crichton
consummate comic John Lithgow all graduated from Harvard.
(Note to self: Do not become a judge after HLS—you will turn Republican.)

Even fewer people know that Lady Gaga, before becoming a “Paparazzi” target, was admitted in 2004.

HISTORY SHMISTORY

Of course, as all of the tour guides will have you know, Harvard was the first institution of higher learning in the U.S.—then only a settlement—which explains, in part, why the university has such prestige. The next college? South Harmon Institute of Technology, only 370 years later.

SHOP TIL YOU ADD/DROP

Given most Harvard students’ penchant for political and ethical thought, it is no surprise that Moral Reasoning 22: Justice, taught by renowned professor Michael Sandel, is the most popular class. Thanks to the thrumming indie craft movement on campus, the second-largest class is Quilts and Quiltmaking.

WE’VE GOT SPIRIT? WAIT, WHAT?

You also probably aren’t familiar with any of the ten fight songs that inspire the Crimson on the gridiron. If Harvard’s talented musicians write one more fight song, they’ll have just enough to kill time in between more rallying numbers like “YMCA” and “In The Navy.” We didn’t pick ‘em, that’s for sure.

And perhaps the most surprising thing to most people is the amount of house pride displayed by many Harvard students. Tourists included, anyone who entered the Yard on Housing Day was serenaded by proud HoCo members from at least three houses. Most shockingly, the annual display proves that not everyone hates the Quad.

NOTE: Some shit here you definitely didn’t know because it’s actually not true. We won’t bother telling you which three “facts” they are because you should know better, c’mon now.