HUPD watches for people eating poisonous fruit.

Here it comes: another installment of HUPD Hustlin’. Harvard Police have to deal with the weirdest shenanigans. While you complain about their strict behavior keeping your friends from the yard, just appreciate them for all their hard work dealing with gunshots (not really), sick people (eating fruit), and mailbox damage (or stupidity).

Call HUPD if you get piggy-backed, someone suspicious is lurking in the yard, or…a car pops a plastic bottle.

9/27/09 12:08 AM – Cabot House J – Suspicious Activity:

“Officers dispatched to a report of gunshots in the area. Officers were informed the noise was from a vehicle that ran over a plastic bottle.”

Some sort of strange bet? Please don’t eat poisonous fruit off of Harvard Yard trees. Please don’t continue eating poisonous fruit until the police intervene.

10/8/09 3:56 PM – Johnston Gate – Suspicious Activity:

“Officers dispatched to a report of an individual eating fruit off of a tree that appeared to be making them ill. Officer reports the individual was gone on arrival.”

Noice sympathizes with the embarrassment this Harvard School of Public Health student must have felt at failing to understand his or her own mailbox.

10/15/09 1:02 AM – Shattuck House 203, 203 Park Drive, Boston – Suspicious Activity:

“Officers dispatched to a report that an individual’s mailbox was broken into. Officer reports that the mailbox was not broken into and showed the individual how to use the mailbox key.”